Therez Fleetwood launched her first company under the label of PheZula Collection, dressing celebrity clients such as Angela Bassett, Vanessa Williams, Yolanda Adams, Kim Coles and Queen Latifah as well as gift designer for Avon Products. She designed the only Kente cloth costumes worn by Mickey and Minnie Mouse at Disney World. She is also the author of the national bestseller, The Afrocentric Bride, A Style Guide and the newly released true-life sensation, Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers. (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017DV42KW)
For the past twenty-five years, Therez has been catering to brides and grooms around the world and it is her experience in working with couples that has provided her the abundance of information to launch this platform of conversation and discovery. Therez has been a guest on several television shows including the Today Show, Good Day New York and the Dallas Morning News and her work has been on display at the City Museum of New York and Fashion Institute of Technology. Therez has also worked as a life coach in the field of self-expression and leadership and is the former owner of Therez’s Playhouse, which provided couples with ways to rekindle the romance, intimacy and bliss in their relationships.
BPM: Tell us about your most recent work. Is this book available on Nook and Kindle?
In my new book I explore the complexities of relationships through the minds of men who give real, no holds barred answers to the questions that women want to ask. Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers provides insight into the way men think. The statements presented in this book are uncut, complete, raw and emotional.
Over fifty men, between the ages of thirty and sixty, answer intimate questions pertaining to women, relationships, sex, love, cheating, and pornography. The men share their voices and their viewpoints to offer us untapped information in which most of them have never openly revealed before. This book is for women seeking to understand why men do the things they do when it comes to intimacy-related acts. It will help men find their voice of self-expression as they read and connect with the different answers provided by this diverse group whose statements may resemble their own. Yes, the book is available on Kindle.
BPM: What inspired you to sit down and actually start writing Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers? Why now?
After my divorce, I began my own personal journey of self-discovery and wanting to create more intimacy in my life. I understood that in order to create intimacy, I had to first become intimate with myself. I had to become courageously vulnerable and accept all parts of myself, even those that I disliked or that made me feel uncomfortable, ashamed, and exposed. I also understood that in order to have more meaningful connections with a man, I would need to go below the surface of my emotions and connect in more intimate ways – mentally, physically and spiritually.
BPM: Where did your book idea come from?
On my journey of self-discovery, I came across a YouTube video of Iyanla Vanzant talking to a group of men and the topic of intimacy came up. One man said, “Wait a minute Iyanla, men and women think about intimacy in completely different ways. Men think intimacy is sex.” After hearing this statement, I began to wonder if all men think intimacy only consisted of sex? Not only did I want to know how men felt about love and intimacy, but I also wanted to know how they felt about relationships, communication, and sex.
BPM: What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
What I enjoyed about writing this book was interviewing the men. who have trusted me with sharing their voices and who took a stand in providing women with a closer look at how they think and what they really want in relationships. Some men struggled with answering the questions, while others relished in the opportunity to speak and have their voices heard. Then there were those who were extremely self-expressed under the guise of anonymity.
BPM: Share one specific point in your book that resonated with your present journey.
What resonated most with me is the understanding how essential clear communication is to create an intimate and lasting union. Real intimacy requires a deep level of communication between partners. It is being clear about our thoughts and feelings and not being afraid to tell the truth about them. It’s an energy that keeps relationships alive and our thoughts and feelings flowing. So often we think, what if I reveal my heart completely and they reject me? We become afraid to express our true feeling and fears because we think our partner will start to distance him or herself from us. When, in actuality, the act of speaking the truth about our feelings is healing.
BPM: Did you learn anything personal from writing Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers?
I learned that it is very important to constantly work on your relationships. When we get comfortable in relationships, we stop paying attention to each other and/or doing the things we did in the beginning of the relationship to attract our partner. We get to a point where the conversations get stagnant, boring, routine and unimportant. We stop growing, learning, sharing and being curious about each other. In addition, when we are no longer mentally stimulated, we get bored with our partner and we seek stimulation outside of the relationship. You’ve got to always re-visit “why” you feel in love/like with your partner in the first place and respect your relationship enough so that you are excited about its growth and development.
BPM: Can you share some stories about people you met while researching this book?
I interviewed sixty men between the ages of thirty and sixty from different nationalities who lived in different states throughout North America. Some of the men were immigrants from other countries while the majority of them were born and raised in the United States. Twenty-one of the men were married. Seventeen of the men were divorced, and twenty-two were single and either dating, choosing to be celibate or focusing on things other than a relationship. Their professions range from Actor to Minister to Writer and almost any occupation in between.
BPM: How has writing this book impacted your life as a published author?
The biggest joy I get from writing this book is when I receive letters and emails from customers who shared their emotions with me after reading Men and Intimacy, Real talk. Real Answers. To know that I’ve touched the lives of women and men in a positive way reassures me that this is a much-needed book and conversation to be had.
BPM: What projects are you working on at the present?
I just published a deck of (In-to-me-see) Intimacy Cards, for couples, that allows them the opportunity to exchange open and intimate dialogue as they playfully discover or re-discover what you love about each other.
With each question, they are sharing their thoughts on intimacy as they discuss their wants, needs, and desires. This way of communicating is guaranteed to deepen their relationship and give them the opportunity to create an even stronger connection and an even better understanding of their partner.
Purchase Men and Intimacy, Real Talk. Real Answers by Therez Fleetwood
What Men really feel about Love, Relationships, Women, Sex and MORE!
Printed and Kindle versions: http://menandintimacy.com/order-now/
The Afrocentric Bride by Therez Fleetwood
Featuring the Therez Fleetwood Bridal Collection, THE AFROCENTRIC BRIDE offers valuable information, styling tips and fashion advice for every bride of color who wants to look and feel her best. Gowns, beads, fashions, headpieces, jewelry and more . . . Ms. Fleetwood creates her bridal collection with the African-American bride in mind.
In THE AFROCENTRIC BRIDE she shares her secrets on how to create an Afrocentric gown by using fabrics imported from Africa, adorning it with cowrie shells, embroidering and quilting it with natural colors and fibers, as well as wearing your favorite soft pastel shade or a wonderful vibrant red.