Read our current issue of Black Pearls Sunday News 

Featured Authors



Intimate Conversations

Pearl Review



Soulful Articles 

Sign Up for Black Pearls Weekly 
Contest News

Contests & Giveaways

Black Pearls Magazine  

Our mission is to provide information that is essential, enlightening and entertaining. 

Every issue of this monthly published magazine will celebrate the accomplishments of authors and writers from around the globe, honoring proud traditions and spotlighting ways to enhance the reader's everyday life.

The information that we publish helps to empower our BPM readers, therefore enriching their lives and benefiting the communities in which they live. We believe in Giving the Gift of Knowledge!  

We are here to bring you those literary jewels, Black Pearls, that are sure to bring you and your love ones much pleasure and empowerment. Share this publication with your network and Give the Gift of Knowledge too!

• About Black Pearls (BPM)
• Black Pearls Watch List
• Black Pearls Contests
• Black Pearls Community
• Black Pearls Fanpage
• Write for Us-Submissions
• Advertise with Black Pearls
• EDC Creations Tour Hosts
• TyWebbin Book Tours
• BAN Radio Talk Show
• Literary Events & Occasions
  
  
  

BAN Talk Show

Book lovers join us on Monday and Wednesday nights for the most stimulating conversation on the planet. Meet new authors, hear the latest literary news and fellowship with other book lovers! Call into the literary themed radio show at 646. 200.0402 for a chance to win the featured book.  Chatroom open to all. 

Connect with BPM

          
Profiles in Excellence

Black Pearls February 2010

Join us as we celebrate Strong Families, Black History Month and the spectacular Sankofa Literary Society's  3rd Annual Online Book Fair.  Even though Black History Month focuses on the growth of African-Americans, it is important for all races to see the value within the month and throughout the year. At Black Pearls Magazine published, by EDC Creations, we honor all of the people in our society that have made positive changes in the lives of others with the written word.   It's important for us all to celebrate that Black History Month is full of the many accomplishments displaying our literature,  intellect, passions and talents.  Even though we celebrate February as Black History Month, it is important to know that African-American history took place every day of the year and will continue to take place 365 days a year.  This entire issue shines the spotlight on the history makers of today!  

Look inside Black Pearls Magazine. BPM is a free digital magazine committed to inspire, encourage and empower a international group of readers. Our mission is to provide information that is essential, enlightening and entertaining.  We believe in Giving the Gift of Knowledge!  Explore the wonderful array of articles, poetry, exclusive interviews and soul stirring books by entering the main salon of the magazine here.  Share this spirit filled issue with at least 10 friends and co-workers.  Check out the contest page to possibly win a great book!

Here are a few community articles and interviews to get you started today.


For My Sisters
Infidelity by Erica Williams
Can A Sistah Get Some Love?
Believe Again in 2010!

Marriage and Lifestyles
How to Have Casual Sex Responsibly 
Dealing With Infidelity - To Pardon Or Not 
Tiger's  Scarlett Letter 

Hot Topics
These Boots are Made for Stalking  
Fashion Mantra For Plus Size Women
Living Above the Chaos  

Author Interviews
Conversation with Gloria Mallette
Conversation with Dolen Perkins-Valdez
Conversation with Susan Mary Malone
Man-Up: A Plan for  Retooling of Black America 

Motivation
Ty Webbin Christian Author Tours
Heart & Soul Conversations
Bookclub Member Showcase

2010 New Year, New You! 

A PURSE OF YOUR OWN by Wealth Coach Deborah Owens

You’ve seen her, know her, and might even be her! The woman with the “counterfeit purse.”  That’s the term for the symbolic bag that some of us may carry.  Those who might dress fashionably and drive a nice car but have nothing of real value. Many women are smart enough to know that they should put their hard-earned money to work for them.  However, most are too overwhelmed, bored or intimidated by the particulars of stocks, bonds and mutual funds to be proactive.  

In A PURSE OF YOUR OWN: An Easy Guide to Financial Security (ISBN: 9781416570813; $15.00), Wealth Coach Deborah Owens shares how women can use what they know about fashion, dieting and romance to take charge of their finances. This book offers respite to women who are tired of “renting” a wealthy lifestyle with credit cards and are ready to utilize their unique strengths to build wealth-a la Oprah and J.K Rowling.  In this straight-forward and easy to understand financial guide, women learn how to increase their PQ or Purse Quotient and learn the principles to becoming financially fit in any economy.  

The purse is a reflection of a woman’s economic power and Owens insists that in order to fill up a purse, women must adopt wealthy habits that put them on the path to fiscal independence and a financial identity. These are the behaviors that Deborah observed in financially successful women throughout her more than twenty years in financial services.  She is a former financial advisor and was a vice president at Fidelity Investments.  A PURSE OF YOUR OWN shares examples of women practicing The 7 Wealthy Habits,” which include: 1. A Wealthy Outlook 2. A Wealthy Appetite 3. A Wealthy Vision 4. A Wealthy Mindset 5. A Wealthy Legacy 6. A Wealthy System and 7. A Wealthy Focus. A PURSE OF YOUR OWN provides a distinctly feminine financial perspective.  

By adopting these habits, Owens was able to fill her own purse. As an author, radio talk show host and TV wealth coach she now shares her successful strategies with others.  Each chapter of A PURSE OF YOUR OWN focuses on one of these principles and discusses how to acquire and then apply the wealthy habits.  In this easy to follow financial guide, Owens covers the basics and intersperses stories from real women who have used the 7 Wealthy Habits and achieved their own success. Owens empowers women to discover their own Purse-onality, and use their female intuition to take control of their finances and create financial security in their lives. In addition, A PURSE OF YOUR OWN includes helpful quizzes and exercises and offers a free online supplement. [Read More]  

 A PURSE OF YOUR OWN implements clear cut strategies to build and add wealth to your purse wealth to maintain financial security. For more information on A PURSE OF YOUR OWN please visit: www.deborahowens.com   and  www.simonandschuster.com.

Attention: Bookclubs and Women Networkers

Help your members clean out their purses and get a fresh start in 2010!  EMPOWER your book club and START A PURSE GROUP!

Author and Wealth Coach Deborah Owens is on a mission to empower ONE MILLION WOMEN and she would like for your book club to be on board.  In her new book,  A Purse of Your Own, Deborah shares how you can start a "Purse Group" for support and accountability.

Join the Power of the Purse Community receive a free download of Chapter 10 of A Purse of Your Own, and get instructions on how you can start your own Purse Group. Register at here and you will receive updates on the Power of the Purse Campaign and announcements for additional promotional offerings and events. Offer expires:  February 10, 2010. 
 
JOIN THE MISSION TO ENGAGE, ENLIGHTEN AND EMPOWER 1 MILLION WOMEN ACROSS AMERICA TO CREATE A PURSE OF THEIR OWN!

2010 New Year's Resolutions for African American Women
by author Hazel Mills

When people talk about making resolutions for the new year, it usually involves quitting or losing something or someone. For example, millions of people will resolve to quit smoking and twice as many more will promise to lose weight. Beginning the new year, we will be saturated with television and print ad campaigns for gym memberships, weight loss program and equipment deals as well as products to help with nicotine addiction. 

Although these changes in lifestyle are great and for some, can mean the difference between life or death, there are so many other things that we, as African American women, can do to make our lives more healthy, positive and meaningful in 2010.


1. Resolve to spend more time with God. This should be non-negotiable and always first on everyone's to-do list for the new year. He has created so many beautiful and magnificent things, including you. Resolve to attend church or bible study more often than you do now. Make time in your busy day just to say a quiet "thank you".

2. Resolve to ditch the drama. I can't say enough about this one. The stress of living a drama-filled life can affect your mental and physical health. Find ways to get rid of your own and to avoid getting pulled into the madness of others around you. This is much more challenging to accomplish around the holidays.

3. Resolve to take control of your health. On the morning of January 1 and the rest of the year, ask yourself the following vital questions: What is my HIV status? What are my cholesterol numbers? When was my last pap smear and/or mammogram? When did I last see a dentist? If you can't answer these questions definitively, on January 2nd, call your doctor(s) and make an appointment.

4. Resolve not to starve your savings account. 2009 has been a year of economic hell and we have all cut back on rewarding ourselves with luxuries like new cars and vacations. Some may have dipped into the piggy bank just to make ends meet. In 2010, try to make a point to put a little something away from each paycheck. It doesn't have to be much. Pennies add up to dollars.

5. Resolve to be more generous. I am not talking about money here. Your time is more valuable than your dollars. Volunteer to read to hospitalized children, to serve food at a local women's shelter or build a home with Habitat For Humanity. The warm fuzzy feeling you'll get from knowing you helped someone else will be worth more than rubies.

6. Resolve to learn something new. The new year is a great time to create new adventures by learning to do something new. Check out your local community college for course selections. Many classes are available in the evening. You can learn all sorts of interesting things like how to play golf, speak a new language, play a mean game of chess, tune-up your car's engine or countless other hobbies. When we stop learning, we stop growing.

7. Resolve to re-unite with an old friend or relative this year. Invite your room-mate from your college days out for dinner and some catching up or call and chat with a cousin whom you haven't seen since the last family reunion years ago. Sharing a laugh always lifts the spirits. But when planning a reunion, remember to heed number 2 on this list.

8. Resolve to be more informed about social and political issues. We all could use a nudge in this department. Celebrity gossip rules the talk show circuit and magazines covers but how well do you know the political climate of your own city? Let's resolve to spend time expanding our minds this year about what is going on in our world and with those we have elected to represent our interests in government.

9.Resolve to take yourself on vacation. Getting away on a shopping excursion with the girls is therapeutic and relaxing on a tropical beach with your significant other is wonderful. But why not take the concept of "me time" to a whole new level by treating yourself to a weekend at the spa? Treat yourself to a one night stay at a beautiful hotel across town. No phones, no text messages, no emails. You can't take care of others if you don't first take care of yourself.

10. Resolve to speak the truth in love. Hard but necessary. People don't always want to hear or accept the truth. Lies make life so much harder than it has to be. If you tell the truth with sugar rather than with salt, it is usually a littler easier for the other person to swallow. They may not agree with you but you don't need a fan club. Respect, from others and for yourself is the goal.

This list is a great place to begin to think about your life and the direction in which you want to go in 2010. Empower yourself to be a better person than you were in 2009. There is always room for improvement and you don't have to wait until the new year to make a change. Today is a good day.
Website: www.hazelmillsstories.com 

Copyright 2010 written by author Hazel Mills 

Black History Month Memoir: Honoring Marie Johnson Brown
For My Mother (Who Should Have Been a History Teacher)
By Niambi Davis

"I should have been a history teacher."  It was my mother's mantra, especially during Black History Month. She was however, a home economics teacher, but African-American history was her passion. I'll never forget the February she decided that our county library was the perfect place to share that love and spread some knowledge.

First, a little background on Marie Johnson Brown. She was born in 1915, a "late", therefore only child to her 55-year old father and 44-year old mother. Her love of history began as a "Daddy's girl." My grandparents owned a farm they called Mt. Pleasant, and while following her father around on his chores, she heard stories about "Hat" (Harriett Tubman), Frederick Douglass and the Quaker who would bind his horse's hooves with burlap to ferry slaves across the Maryland/Pennsylvania border at night. According to my grandfather's tale, this man could be heard whistling on his way back in the early morning hours. (Each time we traveled to our family reunion at the "home place" she would point out the spot where his journey was said to have begun).

In 1937 my mother came by train to teach at Kennard High School in Centreville, Maryland. While she taught science and home economics at the school built to serve Queen Anne's County's African-American students, my mother collected almost every article she could find about the achievement of local African-Americans. She collected high school yearbooks, graduation programs, lesson plans, prom, graduation and sports team pictures. She was passionate about the school where her teaching career began, and until she passed away, determined to keep its legacy alive.

My mother was a well known, minor hoarder. We laughed at her reluctance to throw away anything - folded up newspaper crosswords, recipes, the Soap Opera Digest, and greeting cards stretching back to the Year One. If there was an article written about championship games of the Baltimore Colts or Orioles, my mother owned it. If anybody in the family needed a childhood picture from when they were toothless or in pigtails, they would "ask Aunt Marie."

There was, however, a bonus to her compulsion - she also owned invaluable pieces of history - a 19th century graduation program from Howard University, photos from mid-20th century life on an HBCU campus, an early 1900's course catalog from Hampton, the program from a 1935 recital of the great Roland Hayes, I don't how she came to own it, but among her collection was the 1930's ledger from a local church, listing members as well as "backsliders." One of her most prized possessions was a letter to her parents from their attorney Thurgood Marshall.

One February, my mother decided that more exposure was necessary for local African American history. By then she was in her 80s, and although she had suffered three strokes, still had enough of her mind to put this project together. She put in a call to the county library. When they agreed to host the exhibit, she and I went to work. From her many file folders, and boxes of articles and pictures, she chose items of local interest - segregation-era black businesses, the story of a World War veteran, an honor given to a long-time municipal employee, and of course, her beloved Kennard. There were pictures of the original, "old" Kennard High School (which became Kennard Elementary) and the "new" Kennard, built just across the street.

She chose the pictures and articles. She wrote the captions. I typed the text and mounted each item. When the display was done to her satisfaction, I took it to the library, along with the sculpture of a proud Buffalo Soldier in full uniform. It was placed where anyone entering could enjoy her efforts. That month, to her great satisfaction, she was interviewed by a local reporter. If my mother had her way, the call could have gone for hours, turning into an impromptu Introduction to African American History.

I have inherited those boxes, file folders and photos, all in need of 21st century preservation. Some are even worthy of donation to a museum dedicated to African-American history and culture. Whenever I pull out an old photo or document from a time gone by, I'm reminded of her straight-ahead, unwavering dedication. Well done, Miss Marie.

About the Author
Niambi Brown Davis was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and raised on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. She and her family lived for many years in Washington, DC and for three and a half years, made the Republic of Trinidad & Tobago their home. Read more here.

She has written for Bronze Thrills, True Confessions and Black Romance Magazines. Niambi indulged her passion for sailing and travel by serving as publicist for the Black Boaters Summit and as a member of the National Association of Black Travel Writers. A script for her first digital novella has been accepted and published by Arrow Publications, LLC. Presently, Niambi writes for Travel Lady Magazine. Aside from travel and writing, Niambi is an avid reader of historical fiction, and deeply involved in tracing the history of both branches of her family tree. Her day job is running the business of Sand & Silk / Soleful Strut, her own line of handcrafted bath and body products.

Change: Our Future or Our Past? 
by Nanette M. Buchanan

The first year with a Black President, has arrived amongst mixed reactions. Barack H. Obama is the 44th President of the United States. Most Americans celebrate what has become the most significant event in Black History, American History, yet some of our doubts have begun to surface.  What will the President do?  How much can he accomplish?  Will he favor blacks more than whites?  Will he become another political puppet for the system?

These questions were thought but not spoken, except behind closed doors immediately after the election.  We, those of us who sincerely sought a change, had no doubt that President Barrack Obama was the obvious choice.  There was no doubt that a Black man could do the job that no other dared to do.  There was no doubt that White America no longer trusted their own.  The day is now upon us and some of those same marchers, campaigners, Democrats, converted Republicans, and voters have questions; still doubt.....

Our past, for those of us who truly know our history was filled with doubt.  There was the doubt that we would ever be more than slaves…….the doubt that we would ever read, write, become educated, or cast a vote…….the doubt that we would ever have justice, equal rights…….the doubt that we would ever become Astronauts, Physicians, Scientist, Lawyers, Judges….the doubt that a African American citizen would ever sit in the White House as the President…..but it has been done!   

What were the questions in our past?  Could Harriet Tubman be serious about the Underground Railroad…..Who thought that Booker T. Washington would pioneer higher education?  Who questioned the inventions of George Washington Carver….Who questioned Dr. Martin Luther King,  Malcom X….Walter White....James Farmer....Johnny Cochran…Who questioned the pioneers….Jackie Robinson…..Joe Louis….Louis Armstrong…..Mary Frances Berry....Oprah Winfrey....Who questioned Dr. Mae Jemison who went from teaching to the moon….Who questioned Muhammad Ali who fought in the ring and refused to fight the war….  

What were our doubts when millions marched in Selma, Birmingham, Montgomery, Washington, D.C. and fought against segregation never questioning our leadership?  

If we truly believe in President Barack Obama and his choice in his cabinet and advisors, our past must give light to our future.  We’ve come this far by Faith, make no mistake about it.  God is with our Black President as He has been with all of our pioneers.  It is by Faith that they took the steps necessary to lead us through the valley.  ....

God is with our President and it is our faith in God and our trust in Barack Obama that will carry us onward.  Here’s to four more years of progress and undeniable change!

Check out a list of African American firsts here.

Written by Nanette M. Buchanan
Website: www.ipendesigns.net        
Myspace: www.myspace.com/ipendesigns

Better Career Strategies
How Blacks Can Overachieve during the 2010 Economic Crisis 
by Dr. Daryl Green
 

On Monday morning, an employee tries to open her office door to find that her key does not fit. She waits for her secretary to arrive and provide her with a duplicate key. The secretary does not arrive. Finally, her boss arrives and brings the employee her pink slip. She stands in disbelief; she has been downsized.

Introduction
Are you fed up with your current job? The rapid pace of globalization makes it difficult for anyone to be secure. Given this reality, can you afford to be content with someone else entrusted with my future career options? As I conducted research for Breaking Organizational Ties: How to Have a More Fulfilled Life in Your Current Job, I heard numerous complaints about bad bosses and uncaring organizations. 

Although today’s job represents an uninspiring journey at work, rarely is a person willing to do something different. Many people become unhappy in their lives because they work in awful conditions. However, you can find a way to be compensated for your talents even if that means changing your environment or leaving it. This article examines how an individual can gain greater confidence in his or her ability to grow by exploring alternative strategies, even in the midst of downsizing and layoffs.


Economic Crisis
Economic troubles continue to presence a challenge to our economic future. America has lost 7.2 million jobs with the unemployment rate topping 10% since November 2009. This situation has been very problematic for black community. The unemployment rate for blacks is over 15%, with more than one in four being out of work. Companies have shed 11,000 workers from their payroll. State agencies have had to layoff or furlough workers. Millions of Americans are now waiting longer for food stamps, unemployment checks, and disability payments. Margaret Simms of the Urban Institute notes, “The length of the recession clearly has put a strain on the resources that states bring to bear.” Therefore, our lives continue to unravel as things we depend on disintegrate before our eyes. 


Career Strategy
An economic crisis and an uncertain future require individuals to explore new personal strategies. For many people, happiness means more than having a job. According to a Yankelovich Monitor’s study in 1997, only 25% of adults said “a lot of money” signified success and accomplishment. Unfortunately, many individuals work in organizations that don’t stimulate their professional growth. 

In my own situation, I’ve kept my primary job but created my own business venture. This decision started my professional development and gave me a competitive edge in the market. 
It doesn’t necessarily mean giving up your current job. However, it does involve a different mental journey. Marsha Sinetar, author of Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow, argues that individuals rarely take the time for introspection: “Most of us think about our jobs or our careers as a means to fulfill responsibilities to families and creditors, to gain more material comforts, and to achieve status and recognition. But we pay a high price for this kind of thinking.” 

Therefore, you may need to change directions. These steps include the following: (a) take a personal assessment of your current work situation; (b) determine your primary focus; (c) prepare a plan for professional development at your job; (d) decide what you need to do in order to obtain your dream job; (e) weigh the consequences of changing directions; and (f) surround yourself with a positive support system.


Conclusion
Many individuals are rethinking their career situations during this economic crisis. Blacks are not the exception. I see a sense of despair encompassing them. Yet, most people don’t know how to get out of this vicious cycle of hopelessness. Individuals should continue to sharpen their skills and never let anyone else decide their future. It appears that few managers are concerned about employee career development. 

Therefore, I caution you not to get too comfortable in your jobs while the rest of the nation is going through unprecedented change. This article demonstrated that you can mobilize yourself and take control of your own situation. In fact, it’s a critical step in achieving personal fulfillment and acquiring future wealth. Through this process, you will gain the insight to develop and enhance your skills while pursuing your personal goals and dreams.


About the Columnist
Dr. Daryl Green provides motivation, guidance, and training for leaders at critical ages and stages of their development. He has over 20 years of management experience and has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can go to http://stores.lulu.com/darygre  or http://www.darylgreen.org  

Rock-solid Answers to the Black Marriage Questions
by Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr.  

Marriage in the Black community has become an enigma—filled with too many questions and too few answers. Once a clearly valued staple of Black family life, research reveals marital erosion. In the fall of 2009, scholars from the Institute for American Values in conjunction with the National Center for African American Marriage and Parenting validated a precipitous decline in Black marriages since the 1970’s.  

Though this decline belies any simplistic explanation, we as a community benefit as we seek answers to two questions posed by two influential African Americans, Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton and film icon Tyler Perry. Though Norton and Perry hail from widely different platforms, they have each used their influence to submit an important question into the public square that highlights the Black marriage dilemma. What has happened to marriage in the Black community?  

In September 2009, Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton’s Congressional Black Caucus Foundation hosted a forum “Single Women, Unmarried Men: What has happened to marriage in the Black community” to a jam-packed room. This forum candidly engaged the crisis. More than half of all Black adults are unmarried compared to less than 40% of Whites and Hispanics. Since the 1970’s, the Black community has seen its number of children born to single moms more than double, rising from 30 to 70 percent. Children in single-mother households are significantly more likely to live in poverty and to have emotional and behavioral problems.  

Norton’s question centers on the social maladies created by the proliferation of single mothers, teenage parenting, and fatherlessness that have become the norm in many Black communities. Underneath this question is a challenge to the decisions that too many African Americans are making to forgo a long-term marriage partnership for short-term encounters.

Our second question courtesy of Tyler Perry takes a different aim—married African American couples who are second-guessing their decision for this long-term commitment.

Why did I get married?  
In 2010 Tyler Perry releases his new movie, Why did I get married too, the sequel to his successful 2007 comedy-drama, Why did I get married. For some of us the first movie brought comic relief to serious marital stressors that are often at the center of our marital conflict. For others the film was a darker reminder of abuses that have left marital scars. This movie caused many of us to think personally about our own reason for marriage.  

Perry’s question highlights the lack of fulfillment that many Black couples experience. It speaks to the frustration and disappointment of many couples that feel their marriages have not delivered the “promised” emotional, physical, and economic benefits. Both Norton and Perry present questions deserving meaningful consideration and comprehensive answers if the Black community’s social, economic, and spiritual capital is to rise.

ROCK-solid answers
My book, Marriage ROCKS for Christian Couples, offers a framework to reverse the Black marriage trend by challenging couples at all levels of relational intimacy to discover God’s purpose for their marriages. Black relationships with a shared sense of purpose tend to understand that marriage offers a long-term commitment to their emotional, sexual, financial, and spiritual aspirations. The Marriage ROCKS model posits a five-step response.

Step 1: Redeem one another through graceful acts (Redemption)
What are the emotional wounds in your marriage? In some cases these wounds manifest as emotional scabs—leftover reminders from past abuses. In other instances, they are fresh sores hindering the development of healthy relationships.

Black couples often struggle with positive emotional engagement because of external stressors like joblessness and educational inequalities that impinge on the marriage. However, internal stressors such as power imbalances, infidelity, and disrespect also trap many Black couples. Black relationships need healing that can only be found through redemption. Redemption promises hope that we can learn to identify our own faults and sacrifice ourselves for our spouses in ways that honor the sacrifice that Christ made for us. 
 
Step 2: Offer intimacy by spending time together (Offering)
Black marriages are time-starved. With our myriad of obligations couples fail to adequately attend to our most intimate relationships. God has actually wired us for intimacy. It should not surprise us then that time-starved marriages lack this intimacy, primarily because there is a shortage of spiritual, emotional, and physical sharing. Sharing conveys priority. Because you choose what to do with your time, you make a statement about your marital relationship when you prioritize it over other activities. Starting today, reserve your time for just the two of you.

Step 3: Develop healthy boundaries (Covenant)
The flexibility of the Black family structure has a rich history; the term family is not simply a matter of bloodlines. Perhaps more than any other American subculture, the Black family has adapted to injustices by contracting and expanding as necessary to survive as a community. While this structure is clearly a strength, it often poses marital challenges.

Many of our marriages rely on overly rigid boundaries that feel controlling and isolating while others express loose boundaries that lead to undue outside influences and infidelity. Any kind of unhealthy boundary makes it difficult for your marriage to achieve its purpose because such boundaries are contradictory to the concept of mutuality.

The key to defining healthy boundaries in your marriage is for each spouse to value the perspective and strength that each brings to the relationship. It requires a level of comfort with oneself and trust in one’s spouse that you are both working towards a future shared goal. Healthy boundaries are permeable and purpose-laden.

Step 4: Share your experience with others (Knowledge)
  Media pundits and narcissistic celebrities distort an ideal view of marriage, typically lacking a faith narrative and highly self-centered. However, God desires that your marriage be a light that directs others to him. Your positive and negative marital experiences have the power to change lives when you give them away to others.

Your testimonies are a fountain of knowledge, especially for your children. Many Christian parents frustrate the faith development of their children errantly believing that they should shield them from their marital struggles. You give your children an astonishing gift of knowledge, not by being models of perfection, but by being living memorials to redemption. Of course, this narrative does not only benefit your children. It impacts our culture at large.

Step 5: Mobilize your marriage as a ministry (Sacred Space)
As a faith-based model Marriage ROCKS is ultimately about ministry. Husbands and wives are ministers to each other first, understanding each other, forgiving one another, and elevating to new levels of intimacy in their pursuit of partnership and covenant. God desires to open your spiritual eyes to a world in which your marriage is a living temple, ushering the sacred into all of the spaces that you traverse—fostering communities of relational belonging with the power to heal and transform.

There are no easy answers to the Black marriage questions. We do know, however, that solutions must be redemptive in healing our wounds, revealing the avenues to intimacy, educating us about healthy boundaries, and encouraging us to share our testimonies in the pursuit of God’s purpose.

Meet Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr.
Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr., www.haroldarnold.com, author of Marriage ROCKS for Christian Couples and founder of Discovering Family International, is a psychologist specializing in Black family life. He holds a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. A member of the American Association of Christian Counselors, Dr. Arnold serves as adjunct faculty, minister, and counselor in Philadelphia.

A video clip aired recently on ABC Nightline stating that 70% of black women are single and that there are over 1.8 million more black women than black men.  It also reports 42% of black women have never been married, and that a large number of them will remain single as there are currently 12 women to every 1 black male.

Upon first reading that report it's easy to feel disheartened and get in a funk.  However, we must remember that based on the billions of people in the world, as you believe God for a mate, remember - You only need one.  Also, I want to submit to you, to counteract their report - "Whose report, will you believe?"

Sometimes when you've been single for so long you begin to get comfortable in your singleness. 

I remember speaking to a wonderful woman of God who was in her early forties and still single saying, "I've just given up."  I was crushed listening to her words because, to me, she was not only giving up on ever being married, but she was also giving up on the one thing that we, as believers, should never, under any circumstances, give up on - and that's hope.

It's quite alright to desire marriage, and it's even okay to believe it can happen for you.  However, you don't want your desire to turn into an anxious care (Philippians 4:6), or even a want. 

The Word of God reminds us in Psalm 23:1, The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

The word, "want," in this passage of Scripture means, "to fail, want, lessen, (have) lack, make lower, want."  In other words, it indicates that something is missing in one's life, however with God on your side you already have every thing you could ever need. 

Instead of "wanting" a mate, I submit to you that you instead, "expect" a mate. 

Expect God's promise to come to pass in His season for your life since He promised to give you the desire of your heart in Psalm 37:4 as you continue to delight in Him.  A lot of times, if you're seeking the face of God and in His presence in prayer consistently, then it's He who put the desire for marriage in your heart in the first place. 

Expect God to be true to His Word and see yourself that blushing bride on your wedding day, and even, see yourself, now, as that virtuous woman and loving wife who is a crown to her husband who will do him good and not evil all the days of his life (Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 31:12). 

Envision and become her now, as you believe God for a mate, and in the meantime become the best you today and use this year to really focus on what God has called you to do and get to know your Heavenly Father even more this year through prayer, praise and worship, and service to Him and His people. 

Become as much like Jesus as you can this year - no, not so you can snag a man, but so that God will be pleased with you and so your life will be fulfilled.

Don't be hopeless, don't give up on hope - again remain hopeful and stay in a state of expectation that God will do what He said He would do in due season as you really trust, depend on, and rely on Him. 

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)  -Hebrews 10:23

Written by Kim Brooks in the The Single Heart eNewsletter
Kim Brooks, author of upcoming book, How To Date and Stay Saved and Black Expressions Bestseller, He's Fine...But is He Saved?  and highly acclaim non-fiction debut for singles, "The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints."  Website: kimontheweb.com

Click Here To Comment On This Blog

Intimate Conversation with Connie May Fowler

New York Times bestselling writer Connie May Fowler is an essayist, screenwriter, and novelist. She is the author of five novels, most recently The Problem with Murmur Lee, and a memoir, When Katie Wakes. In 1996, she published Before Women Had Wings, which became a paperback bestseller and was made into a successful Oprah Winfrey Presents movie. She founded the Connie May Fowler Women With Wings Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to aiding women and children in need. Connie lives in Florida.

Ella: What specific situation or revelation prompted you to write your new book, How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly?
I was reading up on pre-Civil war Florida history and discovered that when Florida was a Spanish territory, women could be property owners and slavery was outlawed. But Spain and the United States signed an agreement that would change all of that. The Florida Purchase Treaty of 1819 guaranteed that the United States would lay claim to Florida in 1821. With a stroke of a pen and strike of a clock, suddenly all women and blacks would have their rights stripped away. That haunted me and I walked around with that kernel in my head for a few years before I sat down to write the novel, which takes place in 2006 but is populated with ghosts. 

Ella: Take us inside the book. What are two major events taking place?
The book tracks a day in the life of Clarissa Burden, a woman who wakes on the Summer Solstice with the knowledge that her life must change because she is wracked with spousal death scenarios and writer’s block. Concurrent with her story is that of Olga Villada. Villada and her family are ghosts, their souls unable to move on from the place where they were brutally murdered. Their stories converge, resulting in a startling and life-changing chain of events.

Ella: Who do you want to reach with your book, How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly, and the message within?
I think this book will have a broad appeal. The book, at its core, is about freedom—individual and universal—and it’s wrapped up in a story that is both comedic and dramatic. I think readers of many ages and races will identify with the struggles of Clarissa Burden and Olga Villada.

Ella: How will reading your book shape the readers lives?
One, I hope it will make readers laugh even amid a few tears. But if there is one message I want readers to gain, it’s that how easy it is for the course of history—the course of one person’s individual day—to go suddenly very, very wrong. There are bad people in this world—sometimes bad people have all the trappings of kindness—and they are capable of terrible things. So we have to be vigilant for ourselves and for one another. Casual prejudices and ordinary meanness can, in the blink of an eye, become lethal. So we have to learn to be pro-actively kind and relentless protective of our rights.

Ella: What are some of their specific issues, needs or problems addressed in this book?
Women’s issues, race, personal empowerment, marital relations, Florida history.

Ella: What was the most powerful chapter in, How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly?
I think that once Clarissa decides—in a fit of rage—to kill her husband, this book takes a major turn and all the chapters that follow are highly entertaining, shocking, and ultimately satisfying.

Ella: Share with us your latest news, awards or upcoming book releases.
I recently wrote a story for Slate’s online women’s site DoubleX about how the Haitian earthquake has severely impacted their women’s movement. How Clarissa Burden Learns to Fly will be in stores April 2, 2010.

Ella: How can our readers reach you online? Share with us your online contact info.
My website is www.conniemayfowler.com.  I blog at http://blog.conniemayfowler.com/ Readers can also follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook, where I’m very active.  There is also a Facebook fan page for How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly.  In March, in honor of Clarissa and those pesky spousal death scenarios that haunt her, I am launching the Clarissa Burden Postcard Project in which I will be asking readers to anonymously send me one secret they cannot tell their spouse or partner.  The secrets can be silly or serious, and will be posted on my website.


Purchase How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly today 
ISBN-10: 0446540684 | ISBN-13: 978-0446540681 

Join Our Mobile Fan Club
Receive a monthly text message when Black Pearls Magazine has new contests for book lovers, news of hot topics and has updated the list of featured authors  and books for the month. Stay abreast of the events we are attending so that you can come join us for great gifts and swag bags!

Seeking Book Reviewers
EDC Creations seeks to add avid readers to our community as book reviewers. We would like readers to share their honest opinions about the books they read. You do not have to be a professional writer, we want to feel your passion for reading. Reviewers receive books from EDC Creations’ publishing partners monthly.  You can review our policy for book reviewers by clicking here.  Email Ella Curry for more details at: edc_dg@yahoo.com 

---

Seeking Book Club Interviews
Ella Curry and EDC Creations celebrates the rise of book clubs in the publishing industry. We host monthly tributes and parties for our featured book clubs. You too can become a Black Pearls Bookclub Star! Request that your book club obtain a  interview and receive a gift bag of books!

Your book club and network of friends are invited to check all the great authors in the Bookclub Reading Room and to explore the magazine for your next featured book of the month. Email Ella Curry for more details or to request the interview questions at: edc_dg@yahoo.com 

---

Skype and BPM Video Chat
We host bi-weekly Skype and BPM Video Chat sessions to introduce authors to our readers. Do you want an author to visit with you and your friends without leaving home? Add us as a friend at Skype and you can join the fun. If you would like to be invited to our BPM Meet the Authors Video Segments, sign up here.


Skype ID: [ edc1creations]

Join Skype to get Video Messages from Ella Curry and featured authors. Add me to your Skype friend list. Also, send me your Skype address so that I can add you too! Email your Skype ID to: edc_dg@yahoo.com so that we can email you a friend request on Skype

---

Seeking Blog Tour Hosts and Radio Hosts
Each month EDC Creations hosts a tour of 5 wonderful authors. We travel across the web sharing our message of Give the Gift of Knowledge. We are now seeking bloggers, book clubs and book lovers to host the authors on their websites, blogs or radio shows. If you would like to feature authors on your website or blog, we provide all the material for you. It's as simple as emailing us your interest.

We will hold live readings weekly and would like for readers to share the news on Twitter, Facebook and Myspace. Gather 5 or more friends and meet us for an online party! We promote great books via the phone, Skype and the web. Great benefits available for tour hosts. Email Ella Curry for more details on joining the tours at: edc_dg@yahoo.com  Please take a moment to view our previous tour hosts here.

---

Business Interviews Requested
Do you have a great business that serves our community? Tell Black Pearls Magazine about it! We are seeking community leader interviews. We showcase 5 business owners per month. Email Ella Curry for more details at: edc_dg@yahoo.com 

The Black Pearls Magazine family wants to take the time to thank each of you for joining us monthly in celebrating the best in literature and the arts.  Our team of writers, bookclubs and authors are so humbled that you have allowed us entrance into your life. It amazes me each month as I check our subscribers how many of  you deem us worthy of your time and support. 

We appreciate each of you for telling 10 people about the magazine and for driving people to this site. YOU make Black Pearls the magnificent publication that it is, by sharing the gift of knowledge!

Please know, as we prepare each issue for you, we look for those stimulating conversations, the most thought provoking articles and most of all the best books on the shelves. We want each page of this magazine to add value to your lives!  Your comments and feedback are welcomed. Join our blog and share your news, advice and wisdom with the other readers. Tell us what you want to read too!

As we take off in this new decade we hope to bring you more provocative topics and life empowering books to shape your lives. We have contest for the readers and more interactive sections added to the magazine. Let us know what you think of the fresh new content by emailing us here.   Explore inside the magazine and remember, share the Gift of Knowledge by sending at least 10 people to this site monthly. Thank you!  

Ella Curry, President of EDC Creations
Founder & Editor In Chief Black Pearls Magazine
[ Enter magazine's main salon  here ]