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Can A Sistah Get Some Love?
 In
Tinisha Nicole Johnson's, "For Love or Success,"
successful career woman Jasmine Carter is a woman who dates nothing but
white-collared men. But after a string of short-lived relationships, she decides
enough is enough until she meets Kevin Matthews. Jasmine doesn't want to admit
her feelings for him, because in her mind, the men she dates must have high
profile careers. However, it comes to a point where she can no longer deny her
feelings. But will love be enough for her to take the chance?
In Nathasha Brooks-Harris, " Arctic Love Call," teacher
Ava Chantrelle Wellbourne is through with living in Brooklyn and seeking a
change in life and location. On a whim, she answers an ad to teach in all
places, Alaska. She's determined to keep her mind on nothing but her new job,
but even Ava can't deny snuggling up with Zachary Blackmon on those cold winter
nights is just what her heart needs.
In the blink of an eye, 40-year-old Kayla Powell, the heroine of Zana Kayne's,
"A Taste for Love," goes from being downsized from her
corporate executive position and losing her cheating boyfriend in one day; to
being the inheritor of Tasty Kakes, an upscale bakery. When Kayla finds herself
a victim of a robbery, young and handsome detective Clay Weston is sent to
investigate the crime, but she's more interested in investigating him. Can she
give him a taste of true love?
In Gail McFarland's, "The Twentieth Century Fox," Margie
Wilson is definitely a woman of her time. When her husband makes a break for
freedom, Margie decides that her time is now. She's determined to transform a
new inner and outer self. When she wins a gym membership, personal trainer
Justin Gray has his work cut out for him. Is he ready for Margie, The New
Twentieth Century Fox?
Order your copy at Amazon.com
 Lord,
I'm Ready to Be a Wife
by Christine Pembleton (Author)
You
can fulfill your dream of being a wife, God' s Way!
Are you waiting for your wedding day to become a wife? Your future
husband isn' t looking for any old woman; he' s looking for his wife. If you
want to attract him, stop acting like a single woman, and start acting like a
wife-in-waiting. With fresh perspectives on traditional Bible stories and the
wisdom of happily married women.
Do
you want to get married, God's way? Lord, I'm Ready to Be a
Wife will show you how to avoid common dating pitfalls and recognize a
potential husband when you meet him. Funny, real, and relevant, this book will
encourage you while you're waiting, and help you prepare to be the woman he's
always wanted to marry. The stories of Ruth and Esther will show you what it
takes to get a man to "put a ring on it" and still maintain your love
for the Lord. Today could be the day you meet the man you've been praying to
meet.
With
this book you will discover:
- What
a man is looking for in a wife
- How
to know if a man loves you and if he's is ready for marriage
- What
marriage really has in store for you
- And
so much more.
Book
Video--Lord, I'm Ready to Be a Wife: Helping You Go From Single to Married God's Way
by Christine Pembleton
The author shares her experiences as a single and now married woman. You ll discover how to change your marital status by changing
the way you look at marriage and, after you ve read this book, Queen Esther will no longer be just a Bible character, but your girlfriend.
Her story, along with Ruth, Rachel and Rebekah, will encourage you in your preparation to become the queen in your husband's
kingdom.
Lord,
I'm Ready to Be a Wife Chapters:
Preface: Preparing to Be a Wife
Introduction: How This Book Will Help You Become a Wife
Chapter 1: Why Do You
Want to Get Married?
Chapter 2: Women Are Born, Wives Are Formed
Chapter 3: Wife-itudes
Chapter 4: The Marrying Kind of Man
Chapter 5: Waiting and Dating
Chapter 6: Commitment and Engagement
Chapter 7: Being a Married Woman
ISBN-10: 0615292011
ISBN-13: 978-0615292014
About
the Author
Christine Pembleton is a proud wife, mother, entrepreneur, teacher, talk
show host, author, and minister of the Truth. With a sincere desire to encourage
and empower women who want fulfillment and happiness in their marriages, she
helps people understand the foundational truths of the Word of God through her
ministry of writing, speaking and teaching.
In 2008, she established the Christian Wives Club Show, a weekly internet
radio show for Christian wives and women desire to be married. The show airs
every Sunday at 9 p.m. EST on BlogTalkRadio.
With guidance from the Lord, Christine was able to complete two products,
designed to encourage and teach single women how to prepare to be wives. Dating
Tips for Saved Women: The Series is a 2-part audio series. It covers the
basics women need to know about choosing a Godly husband, and becoming a Godly
wife, before marriage. Christine has also completed her first book, Lord, I'm
Ready to Be a Wife: Helping You Go from Single to Married God's Way,
scheduled for Internet release in June 2009.
Lessons Learned: Loving Yourself As A Black Woman
by Tinisha Nicole Johnson
 As a Black woman, have you ever dealt with insecurities and pressures from the world that made you feel unsure about yourself or life in general? Do you want answers and solutions to your most deepest, darkest feelings? If so,
Lessons Learned: Loving Yourself as a Black Woman is a book you should read. It is an inspirational and uplifting book, emphasizing ten life lessons addressing your intimate, personal, and professional life.
In Lessons Learned, the author passionately and straightforwardly expresses and lays out the following: --The Q&A Method of problem solving life's problems --Understanding your deepest feelings and using the positive to overcome the negative --Your self-worth is greater than you think, learn why --What women tend to think the definition of true happiness is --The five most common types of Black women --What some Black women say to themselves that they would never say out loud --Why some Black women sacrifice their souls --Balancing children, family, and friends The author thought it necessary to create a book specifically catered to Black women in the self-healing process while laying out techniques on how to gain more self-confidence and strengthen your self-worth and overall life. Life Lessons reminds Black women of the importance of loving themselves first.
[ISBN-10: 097793988X ]
Meet the Author Tinisha Nicole Johnson
 Humble,
down-to-earth, relaxed, reserved at times, and a cheerful giver, are just a few words to describe Tinisha Nicole Johnson. She was born in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois and grew up and still resides in Denver, Colorado. Tinisha is an entrepreneur, an only child, and mother of two. When she's not writing, she works for a telecommunications company hosting political and sports teleconferences as a profession.
Tinisha has written various articles for 'The Black Corner' section of a local urban magazine entitled, Denver's Finest Underground. In 2004, her short story, "Mother and Son Moment," was published in the Chicken Soup for the African American Soul (2004). She also has a story featured in the Chicken Soup for the Soul: Moms and Sons (2008) and her story has been chosen as one of the 101 Best Stories. Her poetry can be seen on various sites, including her own poetry website. She contributed poetry to a collaborated anthology, entitled Step Up To The Mic: A Poetic Explosion, edited by Michael J. Burt. (September 2007) It features some of HBO's Def Poets and many more. Tinisha currently writes social and political articles for the Denver Examiner, a local news source. She is also a columnist for Sister Space - Empowering Women of
Color and Black Pearls Magazine.
Tinisha's debut novel, Searchable Whereabouts, was published and released in February 2008 by Xpress Yourself Publishing. She also collaborated with two authors in the inspiring book, Somebody Prayed For Me. Tinisha is a versatile author and writes in various genres. She also has other literary works under her belt. Tinisha is known for saying, "I'm working on my next book.".
In addition to Tinisha's literary passions, she is co-founder of a non-profit organization Authors Supporting Authors (ASA) which promotes avid reading and provides support and resources to authors. It's a great network of talented authors, artists, poets, professionals and publishers. Tinisha also manages the website and publishes a quarterly newsletter for the group.
Website: http://www.tinishanicolejohnson.com
Order your copy at Amazon.com
Intimate Conversation with
E.N. Joy
 E.N. Joy is the author of Me, Myself and Him, her debut work into the Christian Fiction genre. Formerly an Essence Magazine Bestselling secular author, when she decided to fully dedicate her life to Christ, that meant she had to fully dedicate her work as well. She’s launching her second Christian fiction work,
She Who Finds A Husband, February 2010.
E.N. Joy writes children's and young adult books as well as Christian fiction for adults. The executive editor for a Christian fiction imprint and a magazine columnist, she is currently working on a young adult series entitled The Soul Sisters. E.N. Joy lives in the midwest with her husband and three children. When she's not writing, she enjoys praise dancing and reading.
Ella: What current projects are you working on?
I have a series titled “The New Day Divas Series.” The first book of the five book series is titled She Who Finds A Husband (February 2010). This first book of the series reads like a soap opera in print as it goes deep-way deep-into the lives of some real church folk and some real Christian folk. It's serious, it's humorous, all while hitting taboo subjects in the gut. No stone is left unturned in these diva's lives. The second book is titled Been There, Prayed That (June 2010). The third book is titled Love, Honor or Stray (December 2010). The other two will be released in 2011. This project is one that definitely glorifies God in every aspect, but still manages to display in a godly manner that there are “Church Folks” (church fiction) and then there are “Christian Folk” (Christian fiction) and come Sunday morning, they all end up in the same place.
Ella: What made you go from writing secular works under the names Joylynn M. Jossel and JOY, to writing Christian fiction and children’s work under the names E. N. Joy and N. Joy?
That’s an easy one word answer; God. God has always been there keeping, watching over and protecting me, but it wasn’t until I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior did I acknowledge just how much God loves me. Now I live to glorify Him in everything I do, including my writing. So I’m now not only proud to be a Christian, but proud to be a Christian fiction author.
 Ella: Please introduce us to your new Christian Fiction title, She Who Finds a Husband.
What was the pastor of New Day Temple of Faith thinking when approving the creation of the New Day Singles Ministry? Better yet, what were its members thinking when they joined?
Doreen, lovingly known as the Church Mother of New Day, thought that when she presented the idea of the ministry to the pastor, it could serve as a foundation to empower, encourage, and enlighten the church’s single members. But when only women join and Doreen learns that all these women want only one thing out of the ministry—help in finding a man—her mission goes astray.
She Who Finds a Husband is what you get when you combine some Divine, some Independent, some Virtuous, some Animated, and some Stoic personalities all in one setting—DIVAS! Dig into this soap opera in print as the women of New Day Temple of Faith Singles Ministry set flight to include men in their future, not realizing that the past is what’s keeping them bound.
Ella: What was your first Christian fiction title?
It’s titled Me, Myself and Him. It came out March 2008. It’s about a woman who is trying to live in the word while holding onto the hand of her live in boyfriend, who is in the world. When the story begins, neither the main character or her boyfriend are practicing Christians. The story shows the struggle between an unsaved couple, when one partner begins to fall in love with Jesus.
Ella: What was your first children’s story?
My children’s’ story is titled The Secret Olivia Told Me. It was published September 2007. In February 2008, the American Library Association gave the book a Coretta Scott King Honor for illustration. Scholastics Books purchased the book club rights, and the book is on tour across the country at various schools for book fairs.
Ella: What is the difference, if any, between writing secular fiction and Christian fiction?
There is a big difference. Now, instead of outlining and figuring out in which direction I want the story to go, I simply get in God’s word, get in God’s face, ask Him what He wants me to do, what He wants me to say, what He wants the message to be, then I take dictation from the Holy Spirit.
Ella: Do you ever stray from what you think God is calling you to write?
I try very hard to keep my mind clear; to make sure I’m in tune with the Holy Spirit when I’m writing. But I’m going to tell the truth and shame the devil; I’m human, so just like in every day life, when it comes to my writing, I do sometimes allow my flesh to rise up and do it’s own thing. I have written things that I thought the reader might want to read without consulting the true author. Do I get convicted for it? Yes, via readers’ emails and reviews…and some of them, unlike God, have no mercy. So I try my best to stick to ghostwriting…Holy Ghost writing that is.
Ella: Is writing a full-time job for you?
Yes, well, actually, I have two full-time jobs (three if you count taking care of my family). I write full-time and I edit full-time.
I’m the acquisition editor for Urban Christian (www.urbanchristianonline.net). I’m also the editor for the “Sinner Series”, which includes the titles Even Sinners Have Souls (Nikki Turner, Noire, Chunichi), Even Sinners Have Souls Too (K’Wan, Michel Moore, Victor L. Martin) and Even Sinners STILL Have Souls (Kiki Swinson, Karen Williams, Brandi Johnson).
Ella: How may our readers connect with you online?
My website is: http://www.enjoywrites.com
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/enjoywrites
The email address is: enjoywrites@aol.com
Purchase
She Who Finds A Husband (New Day Divas)
Intimate
Conversation with Connie May Fowler
 New
York Times bestselling writer Connie May Fowler is an essayist,
screenwriter, and novelist. She is the author of five novels, most recently The
Problem with Murmur Lee, and a memoir, When Katie Wakes. In 1996, she published
Before Women Had Wings, which became a paperback bestseller and was made into a
successful Oprah Winfrey Presents movie. She founded the Connie May Fowler Women
With Wings Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to aiding women and
children in need. Connie lives in Florida.
Ella: What specific situation or revelation prompted you to write your new
book, How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly?
I was reading up on pre-Civil war Florida history and discovered that when
Florida was a Spanish territory, women could be property owners and slavery was
outlawed. But Spain and the United States signed an agreement that would change
all of that. The Florida Purchase Treaty of 1819 guaranteed that the United
States would lay claim to Florida in 1821. With a stroke of a pen and strike of
a clock, suddenly all women and blacks would have their rights stripped away.
That haunted me and I walked around with that kernel in my head for a few years
before I sat down to write the novel, which takes place in 2006 but is populated
with ghosts.
Ella: Take us inside the book. What are two major events taking place?
The book tracks a day in the life of Clarissa Burden, a woman who wakes on the
Summer Solstice with the knowledge that her life must change because she is
wracked with spousal death scenarios and writer’s block. Concurrent with her
story is that of Olga Villada. Villada and her family are ghosts, their souls
unable to move on from the place where they were brutally murdered. Their
stories converge, resulting in a startling and life-changing chain of events.
 Ella:
Who do you want to reach with your book, How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly,
and the message within?
I think this book will have a broad appeal. The book, at its core, is about
freedom—individual and universal—and it’s wrapped up in a story that is
both comedic and dramatic. I think readers of many ages and races will identify
with the struggles of Clarissa Burden and Olga Villada.
Ella: How will reading your book shape the readers lives?
One, I hope it will make readers laugh even amid a few tears. But if there is
one message I want readers to gain, it’s that how easy it is for the course of
history—the course of one person’s individual day—to go suddenly very,
very wrong. There are bad people in this world—sometimes bad people have all
the trappings of kindness—and they are capable of terrible things. So we have
to be vigilant for ourselves and for one another. Casual prejudices and ordinary
meanness can, in the blink of an eye, become lethal. So we have to learn to be
pro-actively kind and relentless protective of our rights.
Ella: What are some of their specific issues, needs or problems addressed in
this book?
Women’s issues, race, personal empowerment, marital relations, Florida
history.
Ella: What was the most powerful chapter in, How Clarissa Burden Learned
to Fly?
I think that once Clarissa decides—in a fit of rage—to kill her husband,
this book takes a major turn and all the chapters that follow are highly
entertaining, shocking, and ultimately satisfying.
Ella: Share with us your latest news, awards or upcoming book releases.
I recently wrote a story for Slate’s online women’s site DoubleX about how
the Haitian earthquake has severely impacted their women’s movement. How
Clarissa Burden Learns to Fly will be in stores April 2, 2010.
Ella: How can our readers reach you online? Share with us your online contact
info.
My
website is www.conniemayfowler.com.
I blog at http://blog.conniemayfowler.com/
Readers can also follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook, where I’m
very active. There is also a Facebook fan page for How
Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly. In March, in honor of Clarissa and
those pesky spousal death scenarios that haunt her, I am launching the Clarissa
Burden Postcard Project in which I will be asking readers to anonymously
send me one secret they cannot tell their spouse or partner. The secrets
can be silly or serious, and will be posted on my website.
Purchase How Clarissa Burden Learned to Fly today
ISBN-10: 0446540684 | ISBN-13: 978-0446540681
Intimate Conversation with Andrelena Harris
 Born in Long Beach, California and reared on Governor's Island, New York and New Orleans, Louisiana.
Andrelena's focus is on the "empowerment" of women. Her passion to equip women to overcome challenges in life stems from her own life experiences. A single parent, a past victim of domestic violence, and living a life of destruction, Andrelena rose out of her circumstances to proclaim that she is
"Somebody". At an early age, writing became her sanctuary. Writing the truth became her praise. After receiving a vision that launched her into her purpose, Andrelena sets out to inspire, motivate, and encourage women to live life to the fullest. Her love for broken women transpires in her poetry and her letters.
Andrelena Harris is a proud mother of three, a publisher, and published writer. She is a motivational speaker, and a visual artist. She speaks to inner city youth about self esteem, value, finding purpose, reaching goals and spends her leisure time making the world a better place one day at a time.
Ella: Allow me to introduce the readers to Letters to the Sisterhood.
Letters to the Sisterhood is a book of healing letters for the wounded woman's soul. With the many challenges women face today i.e, single parenting, abuse, low self-esteem, inner conflict, depression, and self discovery; there are few solutions that understands the woman's crying soul. This book tackles those deep rooted issues; written by a woman that has been through it all.
Andrelena, by her experiences, is determined to reach women through her letters, to instill confidence, self esteem, self respect, love, wisdom and value into the hearts of wounded women. Written woman to woman and sister to sister, these letters will empower you.
Letters to the Sisterhood is a book that enlightens, inspires, motivates, teaches, and guides with real woman to woman talk, laughter, tears, and love.
 Ella:
Andrelena, what led you to create this book now?
A. My compassion for broken women lead me to my purpose for creating this book and writing these letters. More and more women are becoming depressed and losing sight of God and themselves; even turning to drugs, alcohol, and all kinds of destructive behavior. Now, is the time for a message of hope and renewal for these women.
Ella: Who should read this book and why?
A. Women that are faced with the many trials of life i.e. single parenting, abuse, low self esteem, depression, and self discovery because Letters to the Sisterhood speaks about those issues and offer hope and an answer. Even men can read this book. In fact, many men have read this book and saw the trials of a woman through a woman's perspective and their eyes were opened.
Ella: What impact will this book have on the community?
A. It would have a major impact because Letters to the Sisterhood is about community and love. Loving God, loving self, and loving others. It's about functioning and prospering as one being to effect many others. It is about coming out of gutter living and striving for excellence.
Ella: What inspired you to write these letters?
A. God. I had a vision that moved me into action and I will not stop until African American women know that they are important and they are loved beyond measure! Through my own life experiences, making bad choices, having low self esteem, being abused, being a single parent, and struggling to find my self; I want to let my sisters know that there is hope.
Ella: What issues in today's society have you addressed in the book?
A. Letters to the Sisterhood addresses the issues of accepting abuse. Many African American women are dying at the hands of men that claim to love them. Many of our children are watching this demoralization process and are repeating the cycle. Many African American women are contracting HIV/AIDS and many other STD's because of their promiscuous lifestyles.
Many of our children are launched into society that has given up on them. Many of us are living selfish lifestyles that will reflect in our children. Many African American women are living mediocre lives with past hurts that are crippling our societies. Many of us have no where to go or do not know how to get there. Many of us do no know where to go when the only way to go is with God. Letters to the Sisterhood addresses women on many issues because each of us have to make a change in order to change our society.
Ella: Who did you write this book for? Why?
A. I wrote this book for urban women, broken women, hurt women, because I call us the women that love forgot and I want every woman that feels as if no one cares; as if no one loves them; as if everyone has given up--God has not forgot! He just requires more from us and more is what I am hoping that these women can get out of life because there is so much more to get.
Ella: Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp and share?
A. I want the readers of Letters to the Sisterhood to grasp the concept that they are valuable. I want them to share the fact that there is purpose in life and it has little to do with self. I want them to share love until it overflows to someone else.
Ella: What sets your book apart from other books in your genre?
A. What sets my book apart is that I am speaking on a spiritual level, but I'm 'keepin' it real',
so to speak. My book is a book of personal letters written woman to woman and sister to sister. I am crying out from my soul and my letters are written as if I was
writing them to someone very close to me. In which, I am writing them to my many sisters that will receive them and find themselves between the lines.
Ella: What was the most important letter in the book for you?
A. One letter I liked most or a verse in it was really neat and it was the one about women staying in abusive relationships with the hope that one day he, the abuser, would change and I stated
that...
"Some storms were created to tear up everything in its path and that is what it does. We try to weather the kind of storms that we are supposed to be running away from! You know what a tornado does, you do not sit there and hope that it doesn't do what it is created to
do!"
I liked that! I wish I was that wise, to know that, years ago when I was hoping for my abuser to change.
Ella: Do you write full time? Describe your writing schedule for our readers.
A. I am working on children's books (none published yet) and I'm writing a novel and I'm currently working on my next book
'Driving My Girls Home' and I'm writing poetry and plays. There's really no schedule. Whichever ones I feel like working on is what I work on. I multi task alot which keeps me pretty busy, but not full time. I enjoy staying up late at night when the house is quiet to write. I could be in the line at the grocery store and something comes to me and I write. While writing
Letters to the Sisterhood, I would awake in the middle of the night to write because the words felt like fire in my bones and they had to come out.
Ella: What do you like to do when you're not writing?
A. I like to be around loved ones; laughing and having a good time. I have a funny family and they are like medicine to me. I also love painting. The power of creating does something spectacular to the soul and so I love creating things.
Ella: What is the best piece of advice you would give to an aspiring author?
A. Don't give up! If your mind can visualize it, then that is your book in publication already!
Ella: Share with us your online contact information with our readers.
www.LoveAndrelena.com
www.myspace.com/andrelena01
www.twitter.com/loveandrelena
You can purchase Letters to the Sisterhood at: www.LoveAndrelena.com
, Amazon.com, and Lulu.com. Please visit www.LoveAndrelena.com
for more information.
Infidelity by Erica Williams
"Once a cheater, always a
cheater" is a popular saying. Is it true? Some people believe that if you are not married then you are single and free to "see" who you want to until you take vows and become committed to your spouse. Others believe that if you are in a relationship with someone it is cheating to talk to someone of the opposite sex if the conversation is one that cannot be had in the presence of your boyfriend or girlfriend; and that going out on a date or physical contact with someone else is wrong. Nowadays, with Facebook, My Space, and a million other social networking sites, not to mention, everything else that we can do online, it is very hard to trust or be in a committed relationship with someone at all, married or single.
One cannot possibly make sure that their "other half" is not involved with someone else with all the possible ways to "mix and mingle". So what is a person to do in the day of AIDS? How do you guarantee that you are safe and in a monogamous relationship? Some believe that
"snooping" is unacceptable but I beg to differ. Yes, we all would love to be able to just trust and believe that our partner is being true. But, isn't a cheater also a liar? So how can someone who is cheating on you tell you the truth? Without you finding out what they are doing, of course? I will step out on a limb and be frank in saying that if I suspect that my "man" is cheating, that I will do my homework. I will do what I have to do to protect my self, my interests, and my health. I am very open when it comes to being in a relationship because if there is nothing to hide, I don't have to hide my cell phone, or have a lock on it. What about the right to privacy? I don't need it if I am being faithful. My business is my man's business.
Yes, men and women are different and men oftentimes feel trapped in relationships so it doesn't necessarily mean that he is cheating because he doesn't want you reading his texts from his "ex" but then again, "why can't I?" if there's nothing in them. I think the problem really lies in lying to begin with. A man, or woman for that matter who is not ready to be in a committed relationship, should not commit to being in one. The reason many people "go along" with being in a relationship when they are not ready for one is because they want to hold on to the person they love, until they are ready to be loyal. But that is just a selfish way to live and it will only come back to bite you when you get caught out there. It is not fair to the person who you are supposed to love and it is cruel to put their health in danger because you are not ready. An Essence poll showed that many Black men who cheat admitted that they do not always or regularly use condoms when they cheat. That is just not fair.
There are so many distractions and attractions for people but there is also such a thing as self-control. Actually, it is understandable that people will have urges, but do they have to act them out? Why is it that a man will throw away his whole family for a night of indiscretion? Why is it that having one woman is not enough? I must side with some men who say that their women get comfortable and no longer are concerned with keeping them satisfied once they have the man. I must also say that there is no respect from a single woman for a wife. Unfortunately nowadays, anything goes, relationships are temporary, and people are only together until they break up.
What is sad is that nothing is sacred, cherished, or sustained. Many children will not know what it is like to have two parents in the same home, just as many children of divorce must see the breakup of their families, all while some just continue to "stick and move".
Are there any people in this world who want to stick together through thick and thin and death do us part? It doesn't look that way.
Domestic Violence and Revenge, Two Sides of the Same Coin
by Erica Williams
Domestic Violence is a touchy and controversial subject. In society it is considered unacceptable and unconceivable for a man to physically batter his girlfriend or wife. The recent incident with singers Chris Brown and Rihanna was a publicized and highly debated event. Many famous people expressed discontent with, criticized, and verbally condemned Chris Brown; while siding with and supporting Rihanna, without being witnesses to the
occurrence. My book A Woman Scorned also addresses the issue of Domestic Violence. The main character, Brielle Prescott, remained in an abusive marriage partially because of being physically abused by her parents as a child. The emotional scars and distress from being battered lasts and affects the victim for a lifetime, in many cases.
I have two conflicting feelings in regards to domestic violence. Generally, I believe that it is wrong to hit a person that you are supposed to care for because for one, that person may be critically injured or killed. Many women have died at the hands of the man that they loved. It is a dangerous habit and a problem that escalates over time, as many statistics prove. When a man starts the cycle of abuse oftentimes the assaults become worse and worse as time goes on and more and more frequent. What may begins as a shove may turn into a punch and ultimately a murder. Emotions run high in matters of the heart and volatile relationships don't become healthy ones easily. Many young woman have the misconception that if a man puts his hand on them, it is because he loves them enough to lose control because if he didn't care he wouldn't get that angry. The problem herein lies in the fact that a man who does not know how to deal with his emotions or control his anger is a man to fear. When things are great is not the time to decide whether you are with the right man.
However, it is when there are issues or conflicts is the time to assess who you are really loving. A man should not have to hurt you to show his love for you. A man should be able to know how to deal with problems with his mind and not his fists. When the schoolyard fighting days are over, a man needs to know how to handle situations. Is there really an excuse to hit his woman? What if she cheats? What if she lies about where she was and who she was with? What if she spends the money that should have gone to bills? Is there really any justification for physical abuse accept for the fact that it comes from lack of rationale. When a man lashes out he may not intend to black an eye, bust a lip, break a limb, or commit a stabbing or shooting, but that does not mean it won't happen.
As a woman who has dealt with more than one hostile and violent man in my lifetime, I know that it is by the grace of God that I was never badly hurt. However, I could have been. I choose not to excuse that behavior in my "seasoned" time as a woman. I choose to heed the warning signs, spare my life, and not leave my life in the hands of an irrational man because life and death are only a breath and heartbeat away from each other, and in one split second you can be gone.
Contrary to what I just expressed however, is the fact that I do understand what rage feels like. I have been wronged by past boyfriends, as well, and it is not a good feeling. I know how it feels to lose control and lash out with my hands and fists. I have been on both sides of this issue and that is why I wrote A Woman Scorned because Brielle is a victim and a perpetrator. She becomes the very thing she had come to hate, an abuser. She resorts to revenge, which is also a form of Domestic Violence, if violence is the means to getting that revenge.
How do we know what Rihanna did to Chris Brown to make him lash out? How do we know that she did not hit him first and many way say that it doesn't matter because a woman is not capable of hurting a man the way a man is able to hurt a woman. However, is that true when a woman has a weapon? No, it is not. I have brought Domestic Violence and Revenge together because their is sometimes a marriage of the two.
Domestic Violence is sometimes a reaction to a real injustice that is done to someone and Revenge is a reaction to the same.
Therefore, what I believe we must do as a society is be more understanding as opposed to condemning and offer help to those who are on both sides of the issue. Chris Brown expressed a feeling of betrayal from Oprah for "all that he had done for her" because he said that he expected her to offer him some advice or assistance in how to heal as well. Rihanna was not the only one who needed support. He is human, as we all are, and we all do not always handle things the right way. So why is it that we find it okay, to kill the perpetrator? Isn't that violence too?
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