EMPOWERING SINGLE MOTHERS 
RAISING MALE CHILDREN

Intimate Conversation with Black Pearl Magazine founder Ella Curry

Join me in welcoming David Miller, co-author of  Raising Him Alone: Things Black Women Can do to Raise Black Boys to be Men. 

“The Schott Foundation's report on the educational attainment of African American males paints a grim picture for our boys. Our efforts to work with mothers raising sons are designed to improve the academic and social success of boys through the resiliency and coping strategies of single mothers and grandmothers”   states Mr. Miller.   

We are here today to discuss this topic, the Raising Him Alone Campaign and the companion book.

DAVID MILLER, Chief Visionary Officer and co-founder of the Urban Leadership Institute, LLC, will be featured at several events in the Nation’s Capitol and across the country in support of his 2010 Raising Him Alone Campaign (RHAC). 

MATTHEW P. STEVENS, the founder of Empower Today's Youth LLC located in Newark, New Jersey and co-founder of the campaign goes on to say, "It is highly unlikely that we will be able to dramatically reduce mis-education, misdiagnosis and incarceration of young Black males in America without serious interventions targeted toward fragmented families. The campaign goal is to repair families through engaging mothers who are raising boys!" 

The Raising Him Alone Campaign  (www.raisinghimalone.com)  is designed to provide support and advocacy for single mothers raising boys and focuses on creating a safe space for single mothers to discuss parenting strategies, personal development, managing finances on a single income and a variety of other topics determined by single mothers. 

BPM: Where are you from? How did you start your writing journey?
David Miller (Baltimore, MD) & Matt Stevens (Newark, NJ) we started writing books focused on uplifting families as a result of the alarming issues impacting boys of color. Whether its high school completion, rates of incarceration and homicides, African American and Latino males are negatively impacted. 

We both have extensive backgrounds working with boys around alternatives to violence and making healthy decision. Much of our work has focused on increasing the captivity of schools, communities and other organizations to increase the life chances of boys of color.

BPM: Why was this book so important to create? 
The epidemic rates of school failure and levels of incarceration have handicapped a few generations of young boys and men. Prison based capitalism, racism, poor educational opportunities, apathetic adults and the seduction of crime have left entire communities full of women raising children by themselves. 

Fatherlessness has become one of the most critical social issues that impacts communities. Many of the boys we work with are angry because of the lack of a meaningful relationship with their father. We believe that father absence is a leading cause of many of the pathologies which impact boys of color. Our focus is to improve the resiliency skills of mothers/grandmothers who are raising boys, establishing methods to reconnect fathers and connect the sons to useful life and survival skills information.

“It is highly unlikely that we will be able to challenge many of the obstacles that face young Black males without a serious reexamination of parental responsibility”
-- Quote from David Miller

BPM: How will your book and the campaign impact parent-child relationships?
Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys. Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives, RHA seeks to increase access to resources in the areas of Health & Well Being (Mental Health), Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as Financial Literacy.

Our book provides mothers/grandmothers with concrete information and resources to improve the bond between mothers/grandmothers and sons. Each chapter provides information designed to support positive parenting strategies. For example teaching mothers/grandmothers ways to communicate more effectively with their son. The book and overall Raising Him Alone Campaign are designed to best practices for raising a male child. Many of our boys are growing up in communities where going to prison has become more acceptable than going to college. 

Through our “Learning Community” parents are able to get on-going resources and information about topics like navigating the special education system, talking to your son about sex and other critical topics. This information is disseminated via Facebook (Single Mothers Raising Boys), bi-weekly eblast, motivational voice mail messages and community based workshops. 

BPM: Ultimately, what do you want readers to gain from your book? 
Practical ways for mothers/grandmothers to impact the lives of their sons through strengthening all aspects of the parent child relationship. Mothers/grandmothers play a pivotal role in the socialization of boys. It is important that mothers/grandmothers understand more about male development and ways to engage their sons around positive life style choices. 

It is our hope that mothers/grandmothers will understand the seriousness of involving dad and other men in raising a healthy boy to become a man. Boys need to have access to sober & responsible men!  

Additional the book is vital resources for supporting families as they struggle to cope with financial challenges, issues with mental health, educational options and navigating the community.

BPM: What is the most surprising thing you have learned from the community? 
Mothers/grandmothers across the spectrum are struggling to raise their sons. The data around single parents raising children is alarming. Regardless of race & class many single women struggle to raise boys. Additionally, many married women are reading the book and contacting us through our Raising Him Alone web site (www.raisinghimalone.com). These mothers are also struggling to raise their sons. Many admit that their husbands are so consumed with work that parenting takes a back seat. 

BPM: What would you say has been your most significant achievement with this book? 
Being able to connect with mothers/grandmothers world wide. We are getting a lot of support from mothers in the United Kingdom, throughout the Caribbean and Africa. Regardless of geography parenting a male child can be difficult.

Additionally, being able to help mothers/grandmothers cope with their own issues which have prevented dad from being involved! We have been able to support a great deal of healing among families.

BPM: What advice would you give an older mother in supporting their teen? 
Spend more time understanding the trends that impact your son (music, TV shows, technology etc.). The more you understand your son’s reality the easy it is to be able to discuss sensitive topics like sex & drugs. Get to know your son’s friends inside and outside of school. Many times boys have multiple sets of friends. Stay involved in all aspects of your son’s life!

BPM: Name three things that it takes to make a successful parent. 
Realizing that as a parent you will make mistakes. 
Willingness to be open and honest with your son. 
Bold enough to monitor all aspects of your son’s life (even if they get mad at you). 

BPM: What can we expect from you in the future? 
Greater on-line support and counsel for mothers/grandmothers. Expanding ways for mothers/grandmothers to get connected to the campaign. Our Facebook Group (Single Mothers Raising Boys) has allowed us to have some amazing dialogues with parents. 
Additionally, we are working on a children’s book focused on a dad coming home from prison. 

The Campaign will be releasing  Changingfatherhood.org a mega web designed to redefine 
the image of Black fathers. The web site will be the largest repository of resources and information for fathers in the U.S. 

BPM: Share with us your latest news or upcoming book releases.
Just completed Where Mommy & Daddy a workbook for middle and high school age children who have an incarcerated parent. The workbook will be implemented by social workers, teachers and other youth development professionals who work with youth in small groups. 

Hosting a Mother & Son Dance in Baltimore, MD on Sat, Oct 2, 2010 featuring Iylana Vanzant (Author) & Cassandra Mack (author). The Mother & Son Dance will also be replicated in Philadelphia in February of 2011 and a few other cities. 

The campaign is sponsoring an essay contest for mothers. Mama on the Grind allows mothers to write a 450 word essay.  Essay winners will win a reconditioned Dell Laptop. 
Visit us at www.raisinghimalone.com  for the full details and list of winners.


BPM: Thank you Mr. Miller for taking the time to join us today!

National Survey to Support Single Mothers

MOTHERS STAND UP AND BE COUNTED!
Vote on the survey today, by clicking here. 

Community leader David Miller invites each of you to take part in the National Survey to Support Single Mothers.  The Raising Him Alone Campaign has designed a national survey designed to identify the core needs of single moms.  The information collected in confidential.  The campaign will use the data to help expand our outreach and services to single moms.  Our sons are at war! It is time for... us to get more organized. 

If we can get 30% of our friends and families to complete the survey it will help us expand our ability to serve greater families.  The Survey takes 5 MINUTES!

Who is the Average Single Parent in America?
Don't believe the hype! Women across the United States regardless of educational levels and incomes find themselves raising children alone. For mothers of color this phenomenon has become particularly acute. In many communities "unofficially" as many as 80% of the mothers within a census track are single mothers.

Although many of these women receive some support from the biological father and extended family members, an alarming number of these mothers do not receive any financial and or emotional support in raising their sons. While many of the statistics are daunting many mothers are successfully raising their sons in some of the toughest cities in America. 

According to Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2005, released by the U.S. Census Bureau in August, 2007, there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.2 million children (approximately 26% of children under 21 in the U.S. today).

So What is the Average Single Parent REALLY Like? You Tell Us!
Raising Him Alone  is a source of inspiration for the millions of single mothers who struggle daily with the challenges of raising healthy and productive boys to become responsible men. The book is based on hundreds of interviews, focus groups, and discussions with single mothers who are raising boys. 

In 1999 Miller co-founded the Urban Leadership Institute in Baltimore, which has developed an international reputation for providing professional development for organizations working with youth to address alternatives to a gang lifestyle and 
succumbing to peer pressure while promoting diversity and increasing academic achievement.  For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign schedule of events and resources visit, www.raisinghimalone.com.  

Raising Him Alone by David Miller 
and Matthew P. Stevens

“Raising Him Alone by David Miller and Matthew P. Stevens is a must read book for single mothers!”  --  recommended by Ella Curry, president of EDC Creations Media Group 

Raising Him Alone (book) honors the struggles of single mothers raising boys through providing daily lessons that range from talking to boys about sex to assisting mothers with the process of dating. 

Many of the statistics on Black men and boys are painful and are often daunting.  For example, the most recent report on graduation rates among African American males published by the Schott Foundation indicates that in many US cities African American males are dropping out at rates that exceed 65%. The cities include but are not limited to Indianapolis, Detroit and Baltimore. With the lowest graduation rates in the nation among African American males, Indianapolis and Detroit's graduation rates can only be viewed as a public health concern. 


We rarely hear about the countless numbers of mothers who are successfully raising boys alone. The book underscores the need for mothers to be more willing than ever to sacrifice to support positive Black male development. This sacrifice includes developing a greater understanding of contemporary issues that effect Black males as well as getting mothers and fathers to be willing to reconcile old wounds. 

The book serves as a voice of reason that tells us how important it is to rescue our boys from failing communities and failing schools. 

Finally, we hope that Raising Him Alone (book) compels mothers to band together to address the challenges of being a single mother. After reading Raising Him Alone, please make sure you pass this book along to other mothers who can benefit from the lessons and the wisdom of others who have successfully navigated the world of being a single parent. 

Purchase the book, “Raising Him Alone”  here: http://www.raisinghimalone.com/products.htm 

Keep up with our events on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=44547369379 

For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign, schedule of events and resources visit, www.raisinghimalone.com 

The Raising Him Alone Campaign

The Raising Him Alone Campaign is the vision of David Miller and Matt Stevens. It is based on Miller and Stevens' collective work to improve the life chances of African American males. Miller and Stevens were compelled to join forces to create an advocacy campaign that focused specifically on supporting single mothers raising boys. 

The campaign is based on numerous conversations with local and national organizations on ways to better support African American boys. Additionally, Miller & Stevens hosted a series of focus groups and interviews with single mothers raising boys across the U.S. to determine the successes and challenges which confront these families. Overwhelmingly, mothers indicated issues related to understanding male development, issues with their sons father's and financial constraints as major challenges in their lives. 

The campaign acknowledges that nationwide several groups are doing an exceptional job working with African American boys from an academic and social developmental standpoint, however few organizations are working with the parents of these boys. 

The Raising Him Alone Campaign recognizes that there has been a total disregard for the voices of single mothers living in urban communities. Such neglect of mothers raising boys has created some alarming trends among African American boys. To this end, the campaign believes that by increasing awareness around the need to connect single mothers to greater access to services (mental health, financial literacy, strategies for parenting a male child and strategies to support school achievement of male children) we can produce more positive outcomes for African American boys. 

The campaign focuses on four areas identified as key benchmarks in addressing positive outcomes for single mothers and their sons. The campaign's approach to provide greater advocacy and supporting parents gaining access to community based services. The following are the four key campaign areas: 

Health & Well Being (Mental Health) 
•Black males have the worst health status of any other race-sex group.
•Black males have the second lowest life expectancy at birth second only to Native American men.
•Black males have the highest death rate from all causes and the highest death rates from cancer, cardiovascular disease & homicides.
•Black male have the highest rates of sexually transmitted infections.

Educational Support & Advocacy 
•Black males account for 8.62% of total enrollment in the nation's elementary and secondary schools, but account for 21.69% of total expulsions.
•Forty-two percent of all Black boys have failed an entire grade at least once.
•The national average high school graduation rate for Black boys is 47%.

Financial Literacy (African American Community) 
•Nearly six of 10 children living with only their mother were near (or below) the poverty line.
•Of the 19 million children of single parents, two thirds live in rented homes.

Reconnecting Fathers & Sons

Children From Fatherless Homes More Likely To: 
•Commit Suicide (5 Times)
•Have behavioral disorder (20 Times)
•Drop out of school (9 Times)
•Abuse drugs (10 Times)
•Go to prison (20 Times)

Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys. Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives,  RHA seeks to increase access to resources in the areas of Health & Well Being (Mental Health), Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as Financial Literacy.

For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign schedule of events and resources visit, www.raisinghimalone.com.   For more information on David Miller, visit www.urbanleadershipinstitute.com. 

Book Review:  Raising Him Alone 
by David Miller and Matthew P. Stevens
Reviewed by: Lynia White, founder of The Quality Corner Bookstore

Millions of black women find themselves in the very challenging position of raising a son on their own. Raising Him Alone is a valuable resource designed to help single mothers to successfully face the challenge. It is written by two men that are passionate about empowering youths today and dedicated to helping young people succeed. David Miller is Co-founder and Chief Visionary Officer of the Urban Leadership Institute, an enterprise that focuses on creating positive youth development strategies.

Miller has a background in education and has authored several books. Matthew Stevens is the Founder of Empower Today’s Youth, which provides youth with tools to make healthy life decisions. Stevens is also a presenter, youth counselor and freshman college advisor. Miller and Stevens have brought their experience together to create Raising Him Alone.

Absent fathers has become an epidemic in the black community. It can be very difficult for black single mothers to raise a boy to be a man.  Statistics reflect how young black males have been affected by the absence of a father in the home. For example, a recent report on graduation rates indicates that in some US cities, the drop out rates among black males exceed 65 percent. That is a staggering statistic.  Young men in the black community need help. The help that these boys need must start at home. The purpose of Raising Him Alone is to provide the support and guidance that single mothers need to help their sons flourish.

This guide provides so much practical wisdom. Issues such as literacy, sex education and law enforcement are discussed. The importance of knowing your son is stressed. A mother needs to know what her son’s interests are, who his friends are and what’s in his room. I appreciate the candid approach of this book. Often, self-help books will dance around sensitive issues. However, the writers of Raising Him Alone are very honest about their own experiences with raising children and they get to the heart of issues that matter the most. Black women face very unique challenges when raising sons. 

This book is based on interviews with women that have faced these challenges successfully. They share their success and failures so others can learn from them.  While the book is directed to mothers, the role of the father is acknowledged. It is critical that boys have a relationship with their father. Mothers are helped to determine how to deal with the connection between their son and his father. The assistance of mentors and other role models is encouraged. There is even a section that addresses grandparents that are raising grandsons.

I applaud the effort of Miller and Stevens to help mothers raise their sons alone. The strategies found in this book will benefit any mother that wants to raise a boy to be a strong asset in the community. 

Reviewed By Lynia White:
Lynia White is a columnist, book reviewer and the founder of The Quality Corner Bookstore - www.thequalitycorner.com.   For more book reviews by Lynia, visit her blog at
http://thequalitycorner.blogspot.com  and www.blackbookreview.com 

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For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign schedule of events and resources visit, www.raisinghimalone.com.  For more information on David Miller, visit www.urbanleadershipinstitute.com.  Purchase the book, “Raising Him Alone” here: http://www.raisinghimalone.com/products.htm 

EMPOWERING SINGLE MOTHERS 
RAISING MALE CHILDREN



Step Up Your Game as a Parent: Boys and School 
by David Miller

In most major metropolitan cities African American males drop out of school at a rate of 50%. These alarming numbers can be turned around! Do you want son to succeed in school? If the answer is yes, then it is time for you to "Step Up Your Game as a Parent!"

Here are just a few other tips to Step Up Your Game as a Parent:

» Make reading an essential part of your home life. Read aloud to your son and/or set aside quiet time each day in which your family can sit together and read silently. TURN the TV OFF.

» Use your daily time with your son wisely. When you are in the car or walking to the school bus, talk to your son (s) about what they are learning in school, 
or prompt a conversation about a topic that they find interesting and intriguing.

» Know what interests your son. Be involved in all aspects of your son's school career.

» Encourage your son to register for educational extra-curricular programs. Parental encouragement makes a huge difference in whether children go to [educational] out-of-school-time programs.

» Monitor your son's technology. Always be prepared to check his Facebook, MySpace, and Cell phone. Youth have become more interested in social networking than doing homework.

» Stay connected with his teachers. Get the email address and contact phone numbers for your son's teachers. Boys who have a parent involved in their school life tend to do better academically and socially.

» Develop a village of people who can visit your son's school. Many times due to work schedules, parents can't attend important school meetings. Identify others who can advocate for your son. This should include Dad. Often, dad never get announcements about events and meetings at school.


Failure is not an OPTION! This should become the mantra in your house. Our boys need a great deal of encouragement when it comes to school.

Copyright 2009 © Raising Him Alone.

Book Suggestion for Parents: Raising Him Alone 
Things Black Women Can do to Raise Black Boys to be Men
By David Miller and Matthew P. Stevens

“Raising Him Alone” by David Miller and Matthew P. Stevens is a must read book for single mothers!" -- recommended by Ella Curry, president of EDC Creations Media Group 

Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys. Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives, RHA seeks to increase access to resources in the areas of Health & Well Being (Mental Health), Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as Financial Literacy.

For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign schedule of events and resources visit, www.raisinghimalone.com.  For more information on David Miller, visit www.urbanleadershipinstitute.com