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The highest priority in Black America is creating more urban jobs. This
report focuses on Government programs and initiatives. While we should continue
to be advocates for directing more of our tax dollars to urban communities, we
must also take all the steps we can to help our communities recover from this
recession.
What is Black economic
empowerment about?
Black Economic Empowerment is all about is creating Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. We
are often reminded of the economic buying power of African Americans --
projected to soon reach $1 trillion. We are also reminded of the economic
challenges facing Black Americans.
Black economic empowerment involves three key factors that are gaining in
support. These factors can work together to help improve conditions for
Black-owned businesses, Black individuals, and Black communities and complement
the 12
point plan of the National Urban League.
1. First, Black Entrepreneurs who are successful tend to hire
more employees within our own community. In the book, African Americans in
the US Economy, a study of the Atlanta Metropolitan area revealed that 76% of
the employees of Black-owned businesses were Black. According to the most
recent report of the U.S. Census Bureau, Black-owned businesses have grown 60%
over the the period 2002-2007. This growth creates more employment
opportunities in the Black community.
2. Secondly, support of Black-owned businesses provide positive
role models and stable economic foundations for Black communities. The rapid
increase in Black entrepreneurs is a positive trend that has had a positive
impact on job creation in Black communities.
3. Finally, Black Economic Empowerment is a choice that Black
consumers can influence by taking the initiative to support Black-owned
businesses. Self-help economic development must be initiated and sustained by
us.
We encourage the members of the iZania
Community to continue your support of Black-owned businesses as a
critical element in the economic progress of all Black Americans. iZania,
a Black business community created to support the economic development of
Black-owned businesses and to be an advocate for social issues in the Black
community.
Love Your Body: Forgive
Your "Self"
By Laura M. Turner, M.Sc. CNHP
This may sound a bit odd coming from me, but I believe that
regardless of what you eat - how many times each week you exercise or what
particular diet you decide to try - if you do not have your inner life in order,
it will be difficult to be at peace with yourself and your body.
In discussing ways to love your body, therefore, it is important to look at ways
we can have peace with ourselves. Moreover, in this article, we will discuss an
idea you may not have considered: forgiveness.
The Past Is The Past,
Let It Go:
The most important process we can undertake for our health and well being is to
make a conscious effort not to leave negative energy embedded in the past. In
effort to move into present time, and be at one with our own body, it becomes
essential to let go of all the hurts and struggles that have led us to this
moment. There is only one road to this state of oneness, however: The act of
letting go.
As it turns out, I'm not the only one who stands by the belief system of
releasing the past in effort to improve the health of our minds, as well as our
body and spirit. Carolyn Myss in her healing lecture series: Why People Don't
Heal, makes the claim that forgiveness is the #1 way to move forward in health.
And she can back it up. She has used the healing process of letting go to
transform people from near death to glowing health. With this in mind then, ask
yourself: Is there anyone or anything from my past which prevents me from moving
forward? Said differently: is there something in your past that's holding you
back?
Learn To Forgive Others, The
Process:
This brings us to the next step in our progress of releasing the past: learning
to forgive others. Keep in mind, most often others say and do things as a result
of how they are feeling about themselves. In most cases, whether they are aware
of it or not, unhealthy individuals inflict their wounds upon us to salve their
own pain. This can no longer affect us if we make a full effort to do as Don
Miguel Ruiz says in his book The Four Agreements, and "not take things
personally." When we do take things personally, we really could gather up a
lifetime of emotional baggage.
As it pertains to body image and self-esteem, however, is there anyone you need
to forgive? Has someone knowingly or unknowingly inflicted a negative body view
onto you? Here's my personal example: When I was in high school, I had a
"friend" who was popular, pretty and blonde. As an introvert and
troubled youth, I took everything most personally. Imagine my emotional baggage
when any time I would so much as mention my interest in a particular boy, she'd
make sure she would go out of her way to get his interest.
Needless to say our friendship wasn't long term. And later I learned she was
living in an unstable home. Yet, when I was younger, her actions just plain hurt
my feelings and gave me a negative self image. Now I realize my insecurities at
the time were my wounds to heal, and once I'd forgiven her and not taken her
actions personally, I could move forward without holding on to past insecurity.
Learn To Live In the Present,
An Exercise:
When we can learn to let go of the past and live fully in the present, we are
also growing. After all, how could we grow if we have negative energy lodged in
the past? Moreover, there are many other active ways to learn to live in the
present. Begin the process by taking a current inventory of your body. I like to
do this by using my journal (you do have a journal, don't you?)
Here's how it works: Take a scan of your body. First take body part by body part and make a
note of what you are happy about. Ask yourself: What do I love about me? At
first this may seem awkward, but I cannot stress the importance of taking time
to spend time with your self and learning to know "you."
After you've noted all the positive aspects of your self, make note of those
parts you'd like to change. Keep in mind your boundaries - are these
changes within your control? If so, make notes to yourself as to how you may go
about making a change for the better. If changes are out of your control - take
time every day to consciously send love to those parts of your body. When ever
possible, tell your mind that you accept your body and your self for who you
are, right now.
When you've finished, take a look at your list. What can you do right now
that would make you love a part of yourself? Consider this your permission
slip: Today take time to do something good for yourself. Better yet, walk
to the phone right now and make an appointment to do something for your self. My
favorite self-love activities? Here's a couple suggestions. Ladies:
A manicure or pedicure? Gentlemen: A massage?
Today, take time to focus on all of your positive qualities. Make an
effort to forgive the past and move into the present moment. Prepare to
grow!
Journal Entries:
Make note: What do I love about myself?
What can I do for myself this week that is "just for me"?
About the Author
Laura M. Turner, M.Sc., CNHP
is an author, journalist and
wellness mentor specializing in natural anti-aging practices and nutritional
medicine. Visit her online at www.beauty-and-body.com
and subscribe to the BodyTalk eZine - www.bodytalkezine.com.
While you're there learn how to get her new eBook Retro-Aging and enroll in her
"Take Charge Of Your Health" eCourse FREE, as well as improve your
health with Nature's Healing Treasures: www.beauty-and-body.com/youngliving.
Women
in the Workplace: Baby, Have We Come A Long Way?
By Lutishia Lovely
“Why
can’t a woman be on top?” This is the first line in my novel Mind
Your Own Business, spoken by the daughter of a successful soul food
chain. The company is expanding out west and she is competing with her older
brother to head up the new location. In 2011, one might consider that a moot
question.
After all, we have females in all manners of high government,
female presidents of major corporations, female fire fighters and police
officers, doctors and EMT personnel. We’re no longer wearing aprons, pearls
and heels while waiting for daddy to come home…but we’re not yet a
gender-blind society either.
For instance in the workplace and regarding same-held positions, women still
generally make less than men. In 1979, when the National Committee On Pay Equity
was founded, women made 59.7 cents to every man’s dollar. In 1994, this total
had risen to 72 cents to the dollar men received. This organization estimates
that the figure is still hovering around 76-77 cents to the dollar. Now, in
2011. Can you believe that there’s still a need for the slogan “equal pay
for equal work?” If you’re doing the same thing, isn’t getting the same
pay a no-brainer? The reality causes me to shake my head and brings to mind one
of my father’s favorite quotes, “common sense ain’t too common.”
While conducting research for the Business
Trilogy (okay, translated staying glued to the Food Network, one of my
favorite channels), I learned that women make up roughly ten percent of the
chefs/cooks in America. For me, that was an astonishing figure. How is it that
when it comes to home cooking women rule the proverbial roost but when it comes
to cooking as a career, as a money maker, it’s a man’s world? Do you find
this as interesting, and somewhat disturbing, as I do? If you are a chef or a
cook in the industry, do you have an explanation?
One of the joys in writing the above-quoted character, named Bianca Livingston,
was the ability to portray a smart, strong, successful woman who knew what she
wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. Who could hold her own in the
boardroom, and roll with the big boys. When I recently read this line during an
internet radio show, it was met with knowing chuckles. Some readers assumed
Bianca wanted to be on top in the bedroom. Knowing Bianca, these readers are
probably right but taking this question from the boardroom to the bedroom would
be a whole other discussion! Maybe next time… ::smile::
About
the Author
Lutishia Lovely is
the award-winning, best-selling author of sixteen novels. The
Business Trilogy, her latest work, combines two of her passions: writing and
food. This series (All Up In My Business, Mind Your Own Business and Taking Care
Of Business) centers around the Livingstons, owners of a soul food dynasty
called Taste Of Soul—where sizzling scandal and delicious drama are always on
the menu. Find out more about this series and Lutishia at her website: www.LutishiaLovely.com.
And please sign up for her newsletter, where readers are treated to contests,
updates, excerpts from upcoming novels, contests and more!.
The 4 Fundamentals of Leadership Gratitude
by Kevin Eikenberry
Gratitude is a positive emotion and studies have shown it creates a more positive attitude, reduces stress and provides many other benefits.
But, c'mon, we don't really need studies to tell us this, do we? You know how it feels when you are grateful.
This article won't restate the obvious (more than I already have). Instead, it explores the fundamentals of how leaders can transform
genuine gratitude into a positive force for change and success for those you lead and in your organization in general.
Before I go on I must highlight a critical word in the previous sentence - genuine.
Please know that all the suggestions that follow will make a huge difference, but the difference will only be a positive one (for you and others) when your gratitude is genuine, authentic and heartfelt. Please read the rest of my suggestions, with this as a given.
In the end, I hope you see that gratitude is far from a soft, "nice to do" behavior. On the contrary, it is a real and important key to your success as a leader.
All the benefits start with the fundamentals.
The First Three Fundamentals
See it. As a leader, you have lots of things on your mind. In order to be grateful, you must first see or notice things for which to be grateful. Do you want to be grateful more often? Then set your mind on looking for things to be grateful for. Once you set your subconscious mind in motion, you will begin to find them more often.
Say it. Are you grateful or thankful for something someone did or is doing? Let them know! Once you have seen something you appreciate or are grateful for, let people know by telling them. And while you are at it, make your gratitude as specific as possible. It could be a simple thank you, but it also could lead to a habit of giving more positive feedback.
Write it. This could be in an email, but, even better in a handwritten note. Let people know what you saw, how it made you feel and why it is important. These words will be read, and likely read repeatedly, and the quite possibly shared with others. Most people I've ever asked tell me they have a file of letters and positive comments they've received from others. As a leader you will be adding to
people's positive memories, and perhaps treasured files, with your words.
This is all good advice in any part of our lives, but as leaders, when we see, say and/or write our gratitude to others it makes a huge difference.
As a leader, you have a special place in
people's lives. Your words, opinions and actions matter. The gratitude you share in conversation or on paper could absolutely change
someone's life.
The Final Fundamental - The Transformational Component
I started by stating that when we are grateful, good things happen for us. When we think about it from a leadership perspective, we realize the benefits are potentially much larger.
The final fundamental is to share it.
Gratitude is a viral emotion - meaning it's one that can spread quickly.
As a leader you are more than just carriers of any emotional contagion (positive or negative) - you can spread it much faster and much further than anyone else. When you share and role model your gratitude in the ways described above, you begin to positively change the culture and environment of the workplace.
The results of these changes can result in improved performance, improved teamwork, reduced stress, higher retention and much more.
Hopefully you see that being grateful is more than something you can or should do at the close of a big project or at a couple predefined times of the year. Rather, genuine gratitude is always appropriate and always in season.
About The Author
Remarkable leaders know gratitude matters. It’s one way of giving better feedback and developing others. One way leaders learn those skills is by participating in
The Remarkable Leadership Learning System - a one skill at a time, one month at a time method of becoming a more confident and successful leader.
Kevin Eikenberry is a bestselling author, speaker, trainer and the Chief Potential Officer of the Kevin Eikenberry Group. The Kevin Eikenberry
invites you to visit: http://www.kevineikenberry.com for
more information on his books and leadership system.
Sustainable Work Future
Are We Outsourcing the Great American Dream?
By Dr. Daryl D. Green
In more than 900 cities in Europe, Asia, Africa, and North America, protesters take civil disobedience to the streets. This movement,
Occupy Wall Street, can be traced back to a few dozen protesters camped out in front of the New York Stock Exchange on September 17, 2011. At the root of this issue is a feeling that large institutions such as the financial sectors are taking economic advantages while depraving the majority of citizens with this same good welfare. In this scenario, governments take a laissez-faire attitude toward economic opportunities for all citizens.
Across the world, many companies are outsourcing their major work functions rather than perform them in-house. Today's businesses have built elaborate systems for better efficiency and effectiveness. Yet, they are driven by the quest for increasing profitability. Robert Jacobs, Richard Chase, and Nicholas Aquilano, authors of Operations & Supply Management, suggest that operations management has been a key element in the improvement in productivity in businesses across the world. Many times executive focus on the major expense to operate - labor.
It's a simple equation: productivity equals outputs divided by inputs. If organizations can reduce their inputs for their operations, they can increase output (more profit). Therefore, companies seek to reduce their inputs to obtain 'more get. Two of the chief strategies are to outsource non-core functions abroad or add new technologies to generate new efficiencies. These strategies are aimed at reducing labor costs, primarily people.
Since 2000, over 3 million U.S. jobs in the manufacturing sector have been moved abroad to countries like China and India. Yet, few executives worry about the aftermath of outsourcing initiatives. The remaining workforce is shell shocked and stressed since they are required to do the work of the laid off workforce. Sadly, many supervisors feel that these workers should be happy to have a job.
Movements like Occupy Wall Street may get political leaders and media pundits to consider unintended consequences of corporate greed. Gareth Jones and Jennifer George, authors of Contemporary Management, maintain that one of the most important resources in all organizations is the human capital component. Therefore, organizations must stimulate their workers while outsourcing key components of their organizations abroad for greater efficiencies. Many people wonder if American's businesses cannot compete in manufacturing and other high tech industries, will they forever forgo the Great American Dream for next generation of workers.
About Dr. Daryl Green
Dr. Daryl Green
provides motivation, guidance, and training for leaders at critical ages and stages of their development. He has over 20 years of
management experience and has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can go to
www.darylgreen.org
Three Tips
for Artistic Life Design
By Delaina Miller
We all have the potential to dream and create our
realities
When picking out the marble that he used to create David, Michelangelo said he could see/envision David in the stone. As a result he was able to create his vision of David using his imagination. Artists use their imaginations so that they can play with their creations. Their abilities to imagine and then project become a vital part of their artful designs. But artists do not just create sculptures, paintings, photos, etc of random images. Artists depict life and life's potentials. They use a hybrid of reality and imagination to create these works of art.
We can do the same when designing our lives. We all have the potential to dream and create our realities. We just need to look at our lives through our artist's eye, and get to work.
Finished Product and the End Result
The first step is to follow Michelangelo's example and look at our lives from a perspective as if our accomplishments had been achieved. Think about what do want your creation to be? Imagine that someone is introducing you: how do you want to be introduced, who do you what to be introduces as, what are the accomplishments you want to be known for, what is the legacy you want to leave behind? Look at the ideal finished masterpiece of you, what do you see? Use the answers to these questions as your guide to see your "David" in the marble.
Imagine Your Medium
Now that you have a clear vision of what your life looks like, imagine all of the ways that you can sculpt yourself. You are already a work of art, the point of developing yourself as a masterpiece is to become your best "you" by your standards. Remember you become the best you by not chiseling or molding yourself into someone else. But rather you sculpt your interests, abilities, and passions into the perfect you; while bearing in mind we are not striving for a flawless you. Your "flaws" are attributes to the perfect you. I am sure the Michelangelo saw flaws in David but he also realized that those flaws are what made David, David.
What are your interests, what are your abilities, and what are your passions? These are the main questions to help you find your medium, the materials, the masterpiece "You" will be created from. Use your own visions of how you would design your life and you as your masterpiece. This will allow you to really let yourself feel the emotions of fulfillment, happiness, and craft your true character.
Create Your Vision
Create and recreate your vision of you. If your medium is writing, then find ways to write as often as possible and find support groups. Whatever your medium is, visualize yourself doing activities in your medium that further shape, mold, and polish "You."
In order to make your visions realities, you may need to develop your skills. Visualize the tools you will need to create "You."
Do you need to go back to school, maybe community college, to build your skills?
For example, if your medium is writing find a local writer's guild you can join so that you get constructive feedback.
While you are creating the vision of your masterpiece, there are other artistic elements to remember. You are designing your life and the masterpiece "You,"
you need to let the art evolve and grow. Just as artists listen to their art for guidance, listen to yourself so that you are sculpting the true you. When you feel like your original vision is no longer satisfying, change your direction. Also when you run into complications see these as learning opportunities not as reasons to give up on your masterpiece.
Other vision elements are to change your perspective and to have fun. It is important stand back and look at your masterpiece from all angles.
By so doing, you will be able to see yourself in 3D, lifelike, and from someone else's perception. Also, and perhaps most important, have fun. You are designing your life you want your life to be fun, so that you can enjoy it. So don't allow the functions of design to weigh you down.
When designing your life imagine and think like an artist. See the finished product in your artistic mind's eye and chisel away the extra weight (emotional baggage) that does not belong in the ideal sculpture of you. Take into account that you are already a work of art you are just polishing your attributes to shape yourself and life into a masterpiece. Allow yourself to use your artistic abilities to imagine and envision your full potential.
Tuning into your real desires and dreams can be hard with all of the noise we hear every day. We all need a place that allows us to meditate on our individual dreams. At Tune In 2 Life we are passionate about helping you stay focused on your goals and ambitions. Discover more ways to tune in to your life at:
http://tunein2life.com where we offer advice and pull from the collective wisdom of others
About Delaina Miller
Delaina Miller is an Independent Information Professional that takes great pleasure in helping others through her writing and research.
She is the author and coauthor of many blogs.
Her interests include: empowering others, writing, marketing in Social Media mediums, art history, home improvement, traveling, wine, poetry, and photography.
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WHERE WILL YOUR JOURNEY TO MONEY
AND MARRIAGE LEAD YOU?
by Taffy Wagner, DMin
We’ve all
heard the story about how many young women have dreamed about their wedding day (keyword – wedding) for as long as they can remember. Mind you not every woman has that dream but there are many that do end up in that category. Let me assure you, I was the woman that didn’t fall into that category.
I was raised by a single mother who did it all and as a matter of fact, for the longest time my desire was to be a single mom. Why? She made it look somewhat easy even though we had times of struggle. My mom doesn’t hesitate in telling me in how she prayed to God that desire would be taken away because she knew from personal experience it was a HARD road.
As a young woman out on my own and having grown up in a single parent household, I would be careful in choosing a lifelong mate. Hmmm, yes I was quite naïve when it came to dating. Having served in the military for eight years and watching dear friends in relationships with money situations, having been in a few relationships of my own and then returning to the civilian community… the lessons to be learned were many.
Looking back, I realize the journey of money and marriage can start at a very early age. It doesn’t start when you are standing there at the altar in front of your future spouse. This journey truly begins when you are single, living life on your own and making financial decisions whether good or bad because that financial history follows you into marriage. Let’s be honest, that is where the “honeymoon can come to a screeching halt”. Did you hear those tires as you read that?
How you handle paying your bills? What has been your history with credit cards? Are you a proponent of buying now and paying later on “borrowed money” when you are not even promised a job tomorrow? How many couples in your family or close friends have you witnessed getting divorced because of money? Did you vow to yourself that if you ever got married, your marriage would not end up like that?
You may be reading this, already married and having experienced some financial issues that you wouldn’t wish on anyone. Would you be brave enough to share those lessons or do you remain silent while your sister or niece who’s the bride ignores obvious red flags when it comes to money and her fiancé. It’s a known fact that money is one of the top three reasons for divorce, so why aren’t more people talking about it prior to marriage? FEAR! Fear does a lot to family members, friends and even colleagues – it will keep them from sharing the truth and watching some marriages take place that shouldn’t or ones that should be delayed if the hard topics were discussed.
Money talk throughout marriage is a lifestyle. It is not a one time conversation. When couples stand before their designated wedding
officiator, taking the vows “For Richer or For Poorer” are probably the most serious vows they could take. Yet, in this day and time husbands and wives are focusing more on “I” instead of “we” or what’s best for “US” as a unit.
Where will your journey to money and marriage lead you? For those of you that have dreamed about your wedding or even your son or daughter’s wedding, I have a question for you? Have you ever dreamed about their marriage? Share with me what that looks like, especially when it comes to money and marriage. Stay tuned because next we will continue this journey together at the point of engagement!
About Taffy Wagner, DMin and Certified Educator in Personal Finances
Dr. Wagner is the author of Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ, Debt Dilemma and Homebuyer’s Helper (How to Have and Hold on to your House). She is also a premarital and post-marital financial counselor that conducts seminars on personal finances. Wagner is the financial advisor for
www.Blackbride.com and financial columnist for
Weddzilla.com. She is available to speak at seminars, conferences and small groups. You can contact her through her site at
www.BrideandGroommoneytalk.com
SHARON R. WELLS TAKES A STAND AGAINST SEXUAL ABUSE
WITH HER NEW BOOK "WITHOUT PERMISSION"
AND THE OPENING OF THE ANGEL WINGS BRIDGE FOUNDATION
Ms. Wells is not afraid to open up about her past and encourages others to do the same.
Sharon R. Wells author of the memoir/self-help book "Without
Permission" and owner of Angel Wings Publications, LLC has been on a local speaking and book signing tour at churches, libraries and other public venues to spread awareness of her mission to end the cycle of sexual abuse.
In "Without Permission" Wells wove the experiences of domestic and sexual abuse survivors, victims, offenders and experts into a narrative that aims to educate and inspire anyone who is on the journey to healing.
She started her tour in Union County sharing her story as a sexual abuse victim and survivor with attentive audiences.
"I decided to open up and tell my story in the hopes that it may help spare others the pain of sexual abuse," Wells stated. "My most important goal is to encourage victims to break their silence and begin to heal. I also hope to educate and inform people so that they may recognize the various signs of potential abuse and hopefully prevent other children from becoming victims too."
Ms. Wells will be expanding her speaking tour to other venues in New Jersey during the summer. On Wednesday June 29, 2011, Ms. Wells will be discussing her new book and Foundation and sharing her story on Vanessa Jasey Radio on Streetz 106 Internet radio. In addition, on July 1, 2011, her non-profit organization, Angel Wings Bridge Foundation, which supports abuse victims and survivors in their healing journey will open its doors on Morris Avenue in Union, NJ along with the launching of the Foundation's website
www.angelwingsbridge.org.
For anyone interested in beginning the healing process you can find out more information about her book on her website
www.angelwingspublications.com.
"Without Permission" can also be purchased directly through her website for $15. You may also download an electronic copy for Kindle at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com for Nook readers and LuLu.com for PDF versions for $9.99.
ABOUT SHARON R. WELLS
A native of Philadelphia, PA, Sharon R. Wells is a writer, radio show host, entrepreneur, motivational speaker and CEO/Founder of Angel Wings Publications, LLC, a corporation that provides resource information for sexual and domestic abuse victims. Through the website and the newly released "Without Permission" Wells provides a forum of encouragement, spiritual healing and self-awareness to help victims overcome obstacles that have plagued their lives as a result of sexual and/or domestic abuse.
About Angel Wings Bridge Foundation Angel Wings Bridge Foundation is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to fulfilling the emotional and psychological needs of individuals who are victims of sexual and domestic abuse. We provide a comprehensive range of services, which includes prevention, crisis intervention counseling, safety planning, resources, counseling, assessments, and advocacy.
AWBF will provide a multitude of information and services to victims and the community by inspiring safe and healthy lifestyles, creating positive self-images and delivering unmatched services of excellence. We rise above the status quo in urban areas for sexual and domestic violence resources and services, by providing the highest levels of care with a focus on the individual needs. Together, with the client and our team of professionally trained advocates and therapists, we find an integrated approach that's adequate and safe for the victim's life.
Our goal is to be the voice of individuals who have experienced (or currently experiencing) sexual and domestic abuse, and provide effective support and innovative services to families that experience violence, abuse and trauma. This standard of care is the essence of Angel Wings Bridge Foundation. Please visit our website, which will launch on July, 1, 2011:
www.angelwingsbridge.org.
We
have all heard the saying that “An apple a day can keep the doctor away.”
However, the saying also holds true for consuming the recommended amount of fish
or other foods rich in omega-3s as well. By making sure that you get the proper
balance of omega-3s within your diet, you significantly boost your immune system
and prevent your chances of contracting chronic diseases . Here are answers to a
few questions that you may have regarding omega-3s and how they can benefit your
overall health.
What are omega-3s?
Omega-3s are fatty acids found within specific foods we eat. They are also known
as essential fatty acids, because they cannot be produced within the body .
Therefore it is our responsibility to make sure we supply our bodies with a
healthy balance of omega-3s in order to improve our overall health.
What foods possess
omega-3s?
Omega-3s can be found in fish oils found within such foods as krill, algae,
tuna, salmon, and sardines. They are also found within flaxseed which is in
breakfast cereals, breads, and walnuts. Lastly they are also found in
fruits (such as cantaloupe) and vegetables (such as broccoli, spinach,
cauliflower) . It is recommended by the American Heart Association, that
Americans consume fish rich in fish oils at least 2xs a week to get an effect
amount of omega-3s within their diet.
How can omega-3s improve
my overall health?
Omega-3s are also good source of “brain food” because it is rich in
essential fats needed for the body to function . As a result of omega-3
consumption, it has been shown that concentration and memory are improved as
well as the overall functioning of the brain and nervous system . Omega-3s can
also slow the development of plaque around the arteries, hypertension, and
stroke. Moreover omega-3s can reduce inflammation which is beneficial in lower
the risk of such diseases as diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and even depression .
Foods and/or supplements rich in omega-3s are also imperative for pregnant
women. Studies have shown that having a diet rich in omega-3s while expecting
can prevent miscarriage and improve the development of your baby . Babies who do
not get enough omega-3s can develop nerve problems. However, be sure to consult
your doctor before taking/consuming omega-3s as they can alter their hormone
levels
Is there such a thing as
too much omega-3s?
Studies are still being conducted on this topic. Too many omega-3s can lead to
excessive bleeding during injury . Also if one is allergic to fish, they should
consult their physician before taking foods containing fish oils.
What is the difference
between omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids?
Omega-6 fatty acids can be found in eggs, vegetable oils, seed oils, poultry,
and other dairy products . Similar to omega-3s, omega-6s are also incapable of
being produced within the body. Omega-6s can assist in lowering cholesterol and
supporting the skin while omega-3s are more beneficial in reducing health
disease . Americans normally get too many omega-6s within their diet, too much
of this fatty acid can cause clot formation within the blood. A healthy balance
of omega-3s and omega-6s within your diet can inhibit the possibility of blood
clots within the body.
How can I learn more
about omega-3s and how it can improve my health?
•Speak with your physician about taking fish oil supplements or pills rich in
omega-3s.
About the Author
Shaila Strayhorn is a
current graduate student at The University of Michigan School of Public Health.
She is pursuing a Master’s in Public Health with a concentration on general
epidemiology. Her long time goal is to obtain her doctorate within the field of
public health and lead research projects focused promoting public health with
minority populations. Shaila is a Phi Beta Kappa and magnum cum lade graduate of
the Spelman College. In her spare time she enjoys writing, exercising, and
spending time with her family and friends.
A Dollar Saved by Mary Monroe
My most memorable ex-boyfriend was very creative when it came to saving money. He escorted me to parties and funerals of people we didn’t know just so he could “treat” me to a free meal. At each event he would stuff my purse with food to take home. He drove a twenty-three-year-old Ford and lived in a “boot leg”, free rent, Section 8 apartment (it was in the name of a shady relative who used several aliases).
What my boyfriend couldn’t scavenge from the items that people had set outside for the city crew to pick up and dispose of, he got from flea markets, yard sales, and his unscrupulous associates. His apartment contained more stolen property than a police warehouse. I gave him a new shirt for his birthday that year. He returned it to the store, exchanged it for a cheaper one, and kept the change.
Why did I date such a creep? Well, not only was he cute and a very good lover, he provided some good material for me to write about. He dumped me when I refused to help him pull off a phony accident insurance scheme (he had “choked” on a buffalo wing bone in a bar during the “buy one drink, get free snacks” happy hour).
I dated another miser who made the previous one look like Santa Claus. This man used to urinate in a bucket and empty it in his backyard so that his toilet wouldn’t have to be flushed too many times. He liked to keep his water bill low. His “gifts” to me included a paperback book autographed to him from an author I didn’t like, and a well-worn wig that his ex-wife had left behind.
This man was too frugal even for me! I realized that when he recycled some left-over snacks from one of my book signings and sold them to his friends!
These two former lovers inspired the cheapskate fiancé of my character Annette Goode in my third novel,
God STILL Don’t Like Ugly.
I know females who are almost as cheap as my two exes. One borrows money from me, pays me back with a post-dated check, borrows the same amount from me again, gives me another post-dated check, and so on. There is a fifty dollar loan that has been “floating” back and forth from me to her for two years. When this woman gets runs in her pantyhose, she cuts off the legs and wears the panty part for underwear. When we go out to eat, she brings along a calculator to figure out who owes what.
I don’t see anything wrong with people being frugal. I like to save money, too. I cruise yard sales, discount stores and flea markets. I pay for groceries with coupons, and I recycle as many things as possible.
A few years ago, while I was shopping in a drugstore that was about to go out of business, I stumbled across the sale of the century: brand-name toothbrushes for a PENNY each. I purchased a hundred. For three years, I included one in the gift bags that I gave out for Christmas.
I travel extensively so I collect a lot of hotel “gifts.” You know those cute little condiment containers that you get when you order room service, and those cute little bottles of lotion and shampoo in the hotel bathrooms. I have not had to purchase ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, sugar, steak sauce, soap, shampoo, or lotion, in years. However, when those items are on sale, I pick up a few--but only if I have a “buy one, get one free coupon.”
I am not a pauper and I do like to do extravagant things. I love shows like The Lion King, David Copperfield, Cher, and anything by Cirque de Soleil. Therefore, one of my favorite places is Vegas. When I do that city, I do it in style. Last month a stretch limo picked me up at the Vegas airport and took me to Bellagio, one of the most lavish casino resorts on the strip. I checked into a gorgeous suite that had three flat screen TVs, a bar, and a Jacuzzi in one of the two bathrooms. I ate lobster and filet mignon and drank the finest champagne for three days. I saw two Cirque de Soleil shows. I got a manicure, a pedicure, and a massage at the casino spa. This awesome excursion cost me a little over a couple hundred dollars—money that I used to pay for tips. Despite my penny pinching ways, when I get a meal comped in a five-star restaurant, the least I can do is leave a decent tip. The casino comped me for everything else; even my roundtrip airfare and the limo service.
Anybody can live the champagne lifestyle in Vegas on a Kool-aid budget—if they know how. And that’s one thing I know how to do. A few years ago, I played penny slots in several of the casinos on the strip. I lost about twenty dollars in each one. A few months later, every single one of those casinos sent me invitations that included complimentary rooms, food credits, and more. One offer included $800.00 in free slot play and a seat on a chartered, roundtrip flight from Oakland to Vegas.
I live near downtown Oakland. One of the many things that I love about the San Francisco Bay Area is that a lot of celebrities live here. A lot of them wear their expensive outfits only one time and then they drop them off at thrift stores and consignment shops. I hightail it to those same thrift stores and consignment shops almost every weekend. You would not believe some of the treasures I’ve come across! I recently purchased an almost brand new pair of Jimmy Choo pumps for twenty dollars!
I have several acquaintances who have great jobs and make lots of money—but they are always broke, always borrowing money, and forever dodging bill collectors.
When they make fun of me for being “cheap” I remind them that a dollar saved is a dollar earned…
About the Author
Mary Monroe is the author of the award-winning, New York Times bestselling God series, which includes God Don’t Like Ugly and God Ain’t Blind. Mary Monroe is the third child of Alabama sharecroppers and the first and only member of her family to finish high school. One of her proudest moments was when she became a winner of the PEN/Oakland Josephine Miles Award.
She is currently celebrating the release of Mama Ruby, the prequel to the Upper Room, the book that started it all. She still writes seven days a week and gets most of her ideas from current events, and the people around her, but most of her material is autobiographical.
Mary Monroe currently lives in Oakland, California. She is divorced, loves to travel, loves to mingle with other authors, and she'll read anything by Ernest Gaines, Stephen King, Alice Walker, and James Patterson.
Can't See the Forest for the Trees
by Tamara Angela Grant
Most of us have heard this old adage from our grandparents and elders. I finally stopped to think about what it truly means.
If you were to stand in the midst of a vast forest, you would of course be surrounded by millions of trees of various sizes and shapes. There is life in the forest but can you see it? Do you hear the birds chirping, or smell the scents of nature and see all of the beautiful colors surrounding you? Or is the only thing you see the tree that has rotted and fallen in front of you, presenting an obstacle in your path?
It is easy to forget about all of the things that you have in the midst of crisis and inner turmoil. Our human instinct is programmed for survival so we instantly focus on the dreaded obstacle at hand instead of looking at the bigger picture.
Sure, today you lost your job- but was that job truly suited for you? You were just dreaming about starting your own business. Wouldn't now be the perfect time?
So you are feeling mentally and physically exhausted due to life's day to day frustrations- but someone didn't wake up this morning. Someone does not have a family to call their own. How often do you spend time focusing on the rotted tree in front of you instead of wondering in the beauty of the total picture?
Today's Challenge:
For every negative thought you have, think of two positive things going on in your life. You will soon start to reshape your thinking and begin to see life for what is instead of what it isn't.
Peace and Blessings,
Tamara Angela Grant,
Life Coach
What is character? According to the dictionary, character means:
1. a distinctive trait;
2. behavior typical of a person or group;
3. moral strength;
4. reputation.
Character is an evaluation of a particular individual's moral qualities. It can also imply a variety of attributes including the existence of lack of virtues such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty and loyalty, or of good behaviors or habits. When someone is of moral character, it is primarily referring to the assemblage of qualities that distinguish one individual from another.
When we watch a movie or read a book we usually think of the characters. Even though sometimes the character is complex most of the time they tend to be usually good or bad. Even in the early days of the western, you could tell the characters by the color of their outfits and hats. Although we tend to support the good character and cheer them on as they go about their lives. We want to see them succeed. But in real life character is much more complicated. We are all an array of good and bad character traits. We need to make a conscience decision to do what is right. Depending on your choices, we are either rewarded or have to pay the consequences.
The United States Air Force Academy definition is "We define character as the sum of those qualities of moral excellence that stimulate a person to do the right thing, which is manifested through right and proper actions despite internal or external pressures to the contrary."
When we think of someone with good character or morals we can find many who fit the bill. One of the men I think about is Noah. Even if you are not biblical you have heard of Noah. Noah was a man who God chose as being a person of good character. Noah was a just man. He was righteous in conduct and character. He was a man vindicated by God. He was also able to maintain his integrity as he was being ridiculed by his peers. He was a role model for them and by being a man of good standing and did not waiver in his convictions God protected Noah and his family.
Memorable quote by an author unknown says, "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."
In looking at the negative side of character for a brief moment, the current situation on Wall Street shows the CEO's of these firms as greedy which shows a lack of integrity.
Once your character has been destroyed how long do you think it would take for others to trust you again? Would your character ever be totally repaired? Would there always be a hint of question surrounding you?
Remember when dealing with others, keep your character intact. Also, remember the true test of character is what you do when no one is watching you. Do you act the same way when you are alone as you do when you are with others. As Abraham Lincoln said, "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
About Nancy A. Wood
I was born and raised in Oakland, CA. I am a Christian wife, mother and grandmother. Currently I am writing and publishing articles on biblical character and virtues. You can see my published articles on
EzineArticles.com. Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS
Let Go of Hurt and Pain - Live Your Best Life TODAY!
by Tamara Angela Grant, Author and Life Coach
Why should you let go? You've been hurt before and you would like to think that the person that hurt you actually cares enough to feel bad about it.
Truth is, most people don't intentionally hurt you, and some of the hard feelings we feel are based on our own perception of the situation vs the reality of the situation and what the other person actually intended. Our temperament and our experience shapes our perceptions and our perceptions are the lens through which we view life.
There are times when you are intentionally victimized ie being robbed, assaulted, or abused. And those instances are unfortunate and also shape the way that we see our lives.
The good news is, you don't have to hold on to all of that hurt and pain. You're not supposed to hold on to it. It may feel comfortable to hold on to it, like a badge of honor. It eventually becomes a crutch. "I've been hurt before, so I don't have to be faithful in relationships." "I've been hurt before so I don't have to give my all or form strong relationships." "I've been hurt before so I can hurt other people."
None of that is true. You've been hurt before, but you don't have to wallow in the pain. Pain is a short term need. It serves to help you protect yourself briefly. You touch a hot stove, you feel the pain of the heat to notify you to move your hand. But did you realize that there is pain involved in the healing process? While that burn is healing, there will be some pain, some scabbing, some peeling until there is new skin.
Isn't that amazing? You too can come through pain in the same way. There will be pain, scabbing, peeling, but in the end, you should come out a new person. A person ready to let go of the past and live life in the present. Learn to forgive not for the other person's sake, but for your own.
Letting go is not a sign of weakness, it is a vision of strength.
Live Your Best Life by Tamara Angela Grant
Purchase your copy of Live Your Best Life the ebook for only $2.99 and discover more tips on how to let go of hurt and pain, live life passionately, and find balance. Purchase here today:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50448
Serenity and Strength Consulting
Local Business · Atlanta, Georgia
Tamara Angela Grant of Serenity and Strength Consulting, seeks to assist you in unlocking your keys to success. Coaching is not counseling or giving advice. As your life coach, I will assist you in removing barriers in your personal relationships, career path, and intrapersonal relations. Visit our website today for more details:
http://serenitystrength.webs.com
Pursuing Your Dream: Finding Your Passion
by Trice Hickman
I'm blessed. Really and truly blessed!
After many years of searching, I've finally found my passion, which is writing! And it's funny because books have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
I can recall childhood memories of being excited when my parents took my brother, sister, and me to the Half-Price Bookstore in my small hometown. That was a real treat for me, better than a toy or even candy! Books were treasured gems and I loved them. My thirst for the written word grew as I matured.
But for years and years, when I’d try to write I'd come down with the dreaded “writer's block.”
It was terrible, and I couldn't move beyond a few pages. I began a frustrating cycle...I'd try to write, nothing would happen, so I'd pick up a book and start reading. After several months would pass I'd try to write again, but the writer's block would return, so I'd pick up another book and continue my reading. That process went on for years.
Then, one day it all changed.
I’d been laid off from my job and was feeling low. As I started my search for new employment, I decided that I needed to look for something that would give me real enjoyment. My mind instantly took me to my love of books and my desire to one day write a novel. With a new found sense of purpose and direction, I sat down in front of my computer and started writing. I wrote all day and all night. By the next morning I'd written 30 pages, and the first chapter of my first novel, Unexpected Interruptions, was born.
The next step—I had to figure out how to get my book published. I began submitting my manuscript to literary agents and publishers, but they all turned me down. ALL of them! Still, I was determined to make my dream come true. I did my research (which was painstaking, but necessary), formed my own publishing company, Platinum Books, and published Unexpected Interruptions, myself. The book went on to garner praise from literary reviewers and readers across the country, win several literary awards, and make several bestsellers lists. I self-published two additional novels, Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies, and Playing the Hand You’re Dealt, which were both received with equal praise in the literary marketplace. After achieving these milestones, a major publisher offered me a book contract and the rest is history.
I’m currently working on my next book and I’m enjoying every minute of it! Oh, and did I mention that upon its re-release, Unexpected Interruptions, the same book that everyone initially rejected, received a starred review from Publisher’s Weekly!
When I think back over all those years of wondering when or if I'd ever find my passion, I have to smile because what I’ve come to realize is that my passion was right in front of me…I just couldn't see it. I had allowed fear to intercept my passion. I’d always loved reading and writing, but because I had trouble completing more than a few pages, I became discouraged. But despite my frustration, I never gave up, and I always came back to books and my love for the written word. And when the time was right, I was able to realize my dream and find my passion.
If there is something that you keep coming back to, even in the face of frustration and seeming failure, take a closer look. It just might be your passion...looking for you, waiting for you to claim it!
About the Author
Trice Hickman is an award winning, bestselling author of contemporary fiction. Her love of reading and words led her to become a writer. Determined to have her voice heard, Trice self-published three novels before signing a book deal with Kensington (Dafina Books), who will re-release her original works. Trice is currently writing her next novel, and in her spare time she enjoys cooking, reading, home improvement projects, and traveling. Visit her website for more details on her books and upcoming tour schedule at:
www.tricehickman.com
Love with No Limits Trilogy
Unexpected Interruptions by Trice Hickman
Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies by Trice Hickman
Playing the Hand You're Dealt by Trice Hickman
Cathay Williams - Female Buffalo Soldier
Black History - It's Not Just for February
By Niambi Davis
In Cathay Williams own words "when the (Civil) war broke out and the United States soldiers came to Jefferson City, they took me and other colored folks to Little Rock." Williams and others like her became contraband, (slaves under the control of Union forces) exchanging slavery for servitude as cooks, nurses and laborers for the Union Army. Williams, who knew nothing about cooking ("I was always a house girl") not only learned her way around a camp kitchen, but traveled with the 8th Indiana Volunteer Infantry through Arkansas, Louisiana, and Georgia.
At the end of the war, Williams, like many African Americans, found the security of pay and pension with the United States Army. "I wanted to make my own living and not be dependent on relations or friends." On November 15th, Williams returned to service in one of the Army's all-black regiments. She told her recruiting officer that she was a 22 year old cook. He described Williams as 5'9" with black hair, black eyes and a black complexion. Had he been more observant, or Williams less determined, she would have been immediately rejected. But she was not. Cathay Williams transformed herself from house girl and female contraband to William Cathay, a private in the 38th United States Army Infantry.
According to Williams, only two people knew her true identity. One was a cousin and another a friend, both assigned to her unit. "They never blowed on me," she said. The reasons given for her discharge vary. Her commanding officer characterized her as both physically and mentally feeble and most of the time unfit for duty. The examining surgeon agreed, claiming that "he" was continually ill, stating that Williams' condition preceded military service. If this was true, could she have handled her weapon, stood guard duty, marched for miles and performed the duties required of a soldier of her rank for more than two years?
Williams said she finally got tired of life as a soldier. To obtain a discharge she pretended to suffer from pains in her side and rheumatism in her knees. Only when she was examined by the post physician was her true identity discovered. On October 14, 1868 Cathay Williams, Private US 38th Infantry, the first and only known female Buffalo Soldier, resumed life as a woman. She married, but her husband turned out to be "no account." When he stole her jewelry, horse and wagon, she had him arrested. Later in life, although she suffered from diabetes and had her toes amputated, the Pension Bureau denied her request for disability payments. Cathay Williams died in Trinidad, Colorado in 1892.
About Niambi Brown Davis Author Niambi Brown Davis was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and raised on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. She and her family lived for many years in Washington, DC and for three and a half years, made the Republic of Trinidad & Tobago their home. From Dusk to Dawn, her first full-length novel, and Love's Redemption, a digital novella, were both published in 2008. In 2010 Sanctuary was released as an Apple iTunes application. She has written for Dorchester Publication's Bronze Thrills, True Confessions and Black Romance magazines.
Niambi indulged her passion for sailing and travel by serving as publicist for the Black Boaters Summit and as a member of the National Association of Black Travel Writers. She has written for Travel Lady and Travel and Enjoy Magazines. Aside from travel and writing, Niambi is an avid reader of historical fiction, and deeply involved in tracing the history of both branches of her family tree. Her day job is running the business of Sand & Silk / Soleful Strut, her own line of handcrafted bath and body products.
While the story about Kelly
Williams-Bolar, an Akron, Ohio single mother has created a fire storm in the media, many accounts seem to minimize the daily challenges that parents face seeking a quality education. Williams-Bolar's dilemma is a glimpse into an American nightmare --- a parent of four who lives in a district where the public elementary school has been deemed one of the worst academically performing schools in the county. Williams-Bolar decided to be proactive like so many parents in identical situations.
Ms. William-Bolar's action has become a trend in many communities. Parents who live in crime ridden communities and who are forced to send their children to low performing schools find themselves in a troubling predicament. It's a battle that parents are faced with daily. Often debates about school reform and educational equity fail to understand how the magnitude of the fragmentation of many school districts.
Williams-Bolar did what she had to do as a parent. She made the conscious decision to falsify records to indicate that her daughters lived in their grandfather's district so that they could attend a school with a better academic track record.
She is a single mother, who by all accounts, is on a quest to better her circumstance and improve the life chances of her children. Currently, working as a teaching assistant in Akron, while also being enrolled in college to receive the academic credentials to become a full time teacher, Williams-Bolar was sent to jail for 10 days for attempting to provide her children with the best that society has to offer.
Placed on probation for two years, Williams-Bolar has been ordered to complete 80 hours of community service. This conviction may threaten her ability to get a teacher's license in the state of Ohio.
Williams-Bolar wanted what we all want for our children -- a quality education in a safe learning environment that ultimately produces children who love learning and want to contribute to society.
How many of us have not told the complete truth to benefit our family?
Fighting for our children is a right!
We applaud Ms. Williams-Bolar for making her children a priority. Too many parents are allowing secondary institutions (courts, social services, parole & probation, prison/jails and the police) to raise their sons. Fundamentally, this is historically and will always be a role for primary institutions (family, church, school and the larger community).
About the Author
David Miller is the co-founder of the Urban Leadership Institute a social enterprise based in Baltimore, MD. Miller is also the co-founder of the Raising Him Alone Campaign
(www.raisinghimalone.com) an effort to support single mothers raising male children.
Black History: The Last Lynching in Maryland
A Personal Account
By Niambi Davis
When the fire siren blew, sometimes my mother would flinch. I was a child and didn't understand why something meant to alert our volunteer firefighters would cause such a reaction. As far as I knew, she had never been in a fire. One day, when I was in my early teens, I asked why. Her reply shocked me. "It reminds me of a lynching."
In 1933 my mother ,then Marie Elise Johnson, was a student at Princess Anne Academy, a school established in 1886 under the auspices of the Delaware Conference of the Methodist Episcopal
Church. Located in Princess Anne; Somerset County, Maryland, later it became University of Maryland, Eastern Shore. Through the years, she'd share priceless photos and stories of 1930s life at a historically black school. (I've included a picture of the commencement program in which she delivered the valedictory address). I had never heard the one she told me that day. "I waited until you were older," she explained.
What follows is her recollection of the events of October and November 1933. In October that year a black man had been arrested for attacking a white woman. Local authorities, fearing vigilante justice, had him moved to a Baltimore jail until he could stand trial. For some unknown reason, he was sent straight back to Princess Anne. That decision sent the man to his death.
According to my mother, the students were in Chapel when they learned of the lynching. She described their fear, and with good reason; this was the 1930s Eastern Shore where Jim Crow reigned supreme. They were an all-black campus with an angry, hate-filled mob nearby, and their principal, Mr. Thomas Kiah, was away from school on business. That night, instead of sending them to their dorms, a teacher gathered all the girls and kept them in her on-campus lodgings throughout the night.
I never forgot that story. Just last week, while searching through a box of old pictures, I found a few notes she had written when she was in her early 80s, in an attempt to keep both her memory and history alive. The discovery prompted me to do some research of my own. Over years, some stories change in the telling, and this one may be no different. What I found, however, matched most of her recollections.
The lynching victim was George Armwood. He was a laborer who had been hired out for work since the age of five; a man described as "feeble." He had been accused of raping and robbing Mrs. Mary Denston, an elderly white woman. When Armwood was taken to Baltimore, Maryland's Governor Ritchie advised State's Attorney John Robins and Circuit Court Judge Robert Duer to keep him there. But it was not to be.
According to reports, for some misguided reason, two Somerset County police officers brought Armwood back to Princess Anne. The day of Armwood's unfortunate return, a mob stormed the jail. In the first of the horrors Armwood suffered, his ear was cut off. He was dragged through the streets, strung up near Judge Duer's property, beaten, kicked and lynched. In a last act of triumphant barbarism, the mob doused Armwood's lifeless body with gasoline and tossed it on a bonfire. Later his charred remains were thrown in a nearby lumber yard.
Clarence Mitchell, a reporter for the Baltimore Afro-American, came to Princess Anne the next day and described what he saw: "the skin of George Armwood was scorched and blackened while his face suffered many blows from sharp and heavy instruments. A cursory glance revealed that one ear was missing and his tongue, between his clenched teeth, gave evidence of his great agony before his death." Some newspapers referred to the lynching as a demonstration. Not so the Baltimore Sun. HR Mencken, writing for the paper, described the culture that could condone such acts as "sliding out of Maryland and into the orbit of Arkansas and Tennessee, Mississippi and the more flea-bitten half of Virginia." Needless to say, the paper lost popularity with certain Eastern Shore readers.
As I read on, I found more that compared with my mother's account. In November, a month after Armwood's lynching, Governor Richie sent the National Guard to arrest those responsible for the crime. Four of the nine suspects were taken to the National Guard Armory. Again a mob gathered. In the chaos and confusion, a fire alarm was set off. Could this be the fire alarm she remembered or did an alarm also sound the night Armwood was lynched and burned?
Instead of a blaze, the responding firemen were met with a violent mob intent on freeing the men they considered heroes. To keep crowd at bay, firefighters turned their hoses on the crowd. Ironically, it was a scene that would play out many times over in years to come, except the "unruly mob" would be demonstrators marching for justice and equality; the exact opposite of what took place in October 1933.
My mother may not have known that she was a witness, of sorts, to the last lynching in the state of Maryland. There is however, an earlier Eastern Shore lynching I have to investigate. According to the stories handed down on the paternal side of my family, my great-grandfather was lynched somewhere in or near the town where I grew up. His crime - having a relationship with a white woman and with her, giving life to the child that would become my grandmother.
About Author Niambi Brown Davis
Niambi was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and raised on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. She and her family lived for many years in Washington, DC and for three and a half years, made the Republic of Trinidad & Tobago their home. From Dusk to Dawn, her first full-length novel, and Love's Redemption, a digital novella, were both published in 2008. In 2010 Sanctuary was released as an Apple iTunes application.
She is editor of Travel and Enjoy and has written for Travel Lady, an online travel magazine. Aside from travel and writing, Niambi is an avid reader of historical fiction, and deeply involved in tracing the history of both branches of her family tree. Her day job is running the business of Sand & Silk / Soleful Strut, her own line of handcrafted bath and body products.
The opening passages of True Confessions
contains a powerful suicide scene in which the main character, Kennedy Logan, makes a conscious decision to end her miserable life, in her opinion, with a fatal drug overdose. Questions that immediately invade the reader’s mind are. . . Why? What tragic circumstances or events could lead someone to desire to take their own life? Were there any signs leading up to this decision?
During the course of writing True
Confessions, I realized I had grown and matured over the years in my analysis of people, their lives, decisions and relationships. I used to firmly declare that committing suicide is a coward’s way out. It is too easy to take some pills, use a gun, slash your wrists. . . but it is so much braver to work through your problems or seek professional assistance so that you can lead a full, happy and productive life.
I always firmly stated there wasn’t anything or anyone on God’s green earth who could make me take my own life. No matter how bad my circumstances may appear, I would never, ever, go out that way. I still believe that in many ways, but I also believe that people have different breaking points and various thresholds of strength. What I can overcome may be too much to bare for someone else.
We have all heard the saying: God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Well, maybe God doesn’t. . . but sometimes, for many, life does. Living can become too much, too overwhelming, too painful and the only way to stop the pain is by no longer existing.
During my research for True
Confessions, I learned quite a few interesting facts as they pertain to suicide. I’ll share a few.
1. Worldwide there are more deaths due to suicide than to accidents, homicides and war combined.
2. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S.
3. Approximately 30,000 people in the United States die by suicide every year.
4. A person dies by suicide about every 18 minutes in the U.S. An attempt is estimated to be made once every minute.
5. Every day, approximately 80 Americans take their own life, and 1,500 more attempt to do so.
6. In the U.S., the suicide rate among women is 4.1 per 1,000 while for men it is 17.6 per 100,000.
If you or someone you know feels like you can’t go on, please call one of the suicide hotlines and let someone know your pain. You are not alone.
About the Author
Electa Rome Parks currently resides outside Atlanta, Georgia. After successfully self-publishing her debut novel, The Ties That Bind, New American Library, a division of Penguin Group, bought the rights. Electa signed a three-book deal with New American Library. All three books were immediately chosen as Black Expressions Book Club main selections and embraced as Books of the Month by book clubs across the country. Dubbed a "book club favorite," avid readers have embraced Electa's true to life characters that tackle prevalent and heavy hitting issues.
Since then Electa has become a bestselling author of several other mainstream (Loose Ends and Almost Doesn't Count) and erotic (These Are My Confessions, Ladies' Night Out, Diary of a Stalker and True Confessions) novels with Penguin Group, HarperCollins and Kensington. The self-proclaimed, Queen of Real, Electa has been a frequent guest on radio shows, has been nominated for many industry awards and has been interviewed by newspapers, AOL's Black Voices, Vibe Vixen, Upscale Magazine, Today's Black Woman, Rolling Out and Booking Matters, to name just a few. With a BA degree in marketing and a minor in sociology, she is following her true passion and working on her next novel and first screenplay.
The Seven B’s of Healthy Relationships
by Talayah G. Stovall
There are certain principles that apply to all types of relationships, whether they are friendships, romances, business associations or family interactions. We all lose focus from time to time and can benefit from being reminded of the core tenets of relationship success. Being attuned to the Seven B’s, can help you make all of your relationships healthier, happier and more productive.
Be Realistic
* Know what you want – be honest with yourself about the types of relationships you want to have and the qualities and characteristics of the people you want to play major roles in your life.
* Know what is available – be realistic in your expectations. There are no perfect people.
* Know where to find it – where you look for people to interact with determines the qualities that you are likely to find in those people. Determine the types of people you are looking to attract into your life and frequent the places where those people are likely to appear.
Be Authentic
* Know what you have to offer – be what you seek. If you are looking to interact with people who have certain qualities, be sure that you have developed those qualities in yourself.
* Know what others are looking for – people often make the comment, “take me as I am.” It is important to keep in mind that just as you seek certain qualities in those with whom you interact, others have their own standards of what they are seeking. If you develop qualities that are attractive to others, you will have no problem drawing quality people into your life.
* Know how to present your “best self” – to have the best you must be your best. Be sure that the person others see reflects the best that you have to offer.
Be Open
* Know how to share – communication is vital to healthy relationships. Talk, listen and ask questions. Sharing information is the best way to bond.
* Know how much to share – be generous in sharing yourself, but do not overwhelm others with too much information too soon.
Be Tactful
* Know when to share – handle your relationships with “kid gloves”, not a wooden mallet. Always be sensitive to how your words and actions will affect another person.
* Know what to share – some things are better left unsaid. The truth should always be couched in kindness. Make sure that you have the facts correct.
Be Flexible
* Know when to “go with the flow” – even good relationships require compromise. Sometimes it is good to “go along to get along.” There does not have to be perfect agreement or conformity, but a healthy amount of compromise leaves everyone a winner.
* Know how to extend yourself – sometimes it is necessary to “go the extra mile” for someone you care about. This might mean opening yourself up to their friends and family, doing a little “something extra” to make that person feel special or just being a supportive shoulder or listening ear when they need it.
* Know when to try something new – interacting with others can take us out of our “comfort zones”. Trying something that the other person enjoys might open you up to new and exciting experiences and could be a wonderful opportunity for personal growth as well as the growth of the relationship.
Be Accountable
* Know how to be true to your word – always follow through on what you say you will do. If you find it impossible to keep a plan or promise, always let the other person know well in advance. This is the best way to build and maintain trust.
* Know how to ensure your integrity – have an accountability partner, establish realistic deadlines and determine non-negotiable boundaries for the relationship.
Be Patient
* Know when to wait – often, we want to rush through the preliminaries to get to a desired conclusion. It is important to recognize when a potential relationship is worth the effort to take a step back and wait for things to develop at a pace that will be comfortable for both parties.
* Know how to wait – waiting does not mean inactivity. Constantly work on self-improvement and stay engaged in worthwhile activities, while giving others the amount of space they need. Evaluate the feasibility of the relationship – while you are waiting, you can again consider whether the relationship meets your needs. This takes you back to point #1 – Be Realistic.
Thus, we reveal a never-ending loop that keeps us evaluating and improving where we are in our relationships. The “buzz” is, by implementing these steps, you will build quality relationships. Here’s to your relationship health!
About the Author
Talayah G. Stovall is an author, speaker and life purpose coach. For information on her motivational CD, “PUMP It UP!, her book, Crossing the Threshold: Opening Your Door to Successful Relationships, her eBook, 150 Important Questions You Should Ask Before You Say “I Do”, her newsletter “EmPOWERed to..” and other product offerings, please visit
http://www.talayahstovall.com or email
talayah@talayahstovall.com.
Men Are Abused Too
by Carla S. Pennington, author of The Available Wife
When people discuss domestic abuse, they automatically think and assume that a woman is being physically abused by a man. This is not always the case. Domestic abuse has different forms: physical, emotional, mental and sexual. In relationships and marriages, not only are women abused but men are as well. Although it is a current problem, it is a hidden crime.
There are many reasons why domestic abuse against men is unrecognized. It is hard to get reliable estimates. Not enough is being done to encourage men to report abuse.
The idea of men being abused is unthinkable and astonishing to most people that men do not attempt to report it. Men feel that no one will believe them and some of them even feel ashamed because of the notion that they will be seen as weak or unmanly. Men often escape a bad home life that they are afraid of by spending extra time at work, staying in “their” space (garage, den) at home, or even sleeping in the car or at a friend’s place.
Women abuse for many of the same reasons as men do-alcohol and/or drug abuse, psychological disorders and unrealistic expectations and assumptions. Abusive women make unfair demands on their partners and attribute most of their depression and frustrations on them. They blame their partner rather than admit their own insecurities, emotional problems, childhood traumas and/or current substance abuse. They want their partner to make them feel whole rather than take responsibility for their own lives.
Men stay in abusive relationships for the same reasons abused women do: protecting their children, assuming blame (guilt prone) and dependency (or fear of independence). If more men would report domestic abuse then more can be done to help them. Abused men should be given the same treatment and resources as abused women. Currently there are a few shelters, programs or advocacy groups for abused men. Most abused men have to rely on private counseling services or just deal with the abuse.
Discussion:
What are your thoughts on the subject of domestic abuse toward men? Have you experienced abuse in a relationship? What advice would you give someone who is going through a break up?
Meet Author Carla S. Pennington
Carla S. Pennington was born and raised in Prichard, Alabama where she continues to reside with her family. In 1996, Carla was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Over the years, the disease has halted her, but she refuses to let it stop her. She is currently working on a number of other projects that she plans to have published in the near future.
In 2002, she received her Bachelor of Arts degree with a concentration in journalism from Spring Hill College in Mobile, Alabama. After graduation, Carla decided not to pursue her career in journalism. Her heart and mind were elsewhere. She wanted to write fiction novels and short stories, something that she had been doing since she was a young girl.
In 2005, Carla published her first novel, Fling and from there several short stories which appeared in anthologies across the country. Finally, she landed a book deal with Life Changing Books which released the wildly anticipated novel, the Available Wife in January 2011. Readers can reach Carla S. Pennington on FaceBook and Twitter as: carlapennington. Email address:
carlapennington@hotmail.com
The Wearing of the Red Shoe by Marian L. Thomas
Red is fierce, most say. It is powerful. It can often be used as a descriptive word that suggests anger, passion, love, strength and even pain. Some suggest that the color red, gives off a warm tone. I personally haven't seen that. To me, when a woman puts on a pair of red shoes, something in her attitude might change, a certain wave of confidence might enter into the swagger of her step, the bounce of her walk and the way that she speaks might suggest that she has an air of self-esteem going on within herself.
If you don't believe me, try it. Find a pair of high-heel, sleek to the toe— red shoes. After putting them on, what emotions do you get? Now, what I am saying is not coming from some psych text book, more my opinion or rather observation. However, if you decide to try this experiment and get warm tones, I'd like to know it. Seriously.
In the case of my new release, My Father's Colors-The Drama-Filled Journey of Naya Monà
Continues, the main character, Naya Monà, wears a pair of red pumps on her journey to find out about the colors of her father and why at the tender age of thirteen, his touch became no longer innocent. Could you imagine her having on a different color shoe as she dives back into that emotional-wrenching box of her past? I can't.
Then, there's another character—Misty, that slides into a pair of red stilettos. She takes on more of the fierce, powerful and "I am all woman" approach to wearing her shoes. I like her, that part of her personality that is. When writing her character, I certainly wasn't seeing any warm tones. I'm just saying.
I reference colors in my books a lot, not just with shoes. A crayon box of colors to be exact. Why? As women, we are all made up of many colors. I am not referring to the colors of our skin—but rather, the journey that life takes us on. Every attitude, emotion, laugh, smile or tear, colors us in some way. We can either determine the colors in our box or allow someone else to color us. Men, have a box full of colors too. I don’t' care what they say.
This is certainly true of Chris—the husband of Naya. Chris is the type of husband who believes that his sole responsibility in life, is to protect, love and strengthen his wife. How far will he go for love? That is the question that Chris wastes no time answering. He will do whatever it takes to remove his wife’s pain, even if it means being the one to cause her the most. Red will be the only color Naya sees when his secrets are revealed!
About the Author:
Marian L. Thomas, reared in Chicago but lives with her biggest-supporter—her husband and their spoiled but playful dog, Winston in Atlanta, Georgia. Her debut title,
Color Me Jazzmyne, went on to become an Amazon Best-Seller and was ranked as one of the "Top 100 Books" -1st Qtr 2010 by the Sankofa Literary Society Review.
Marian welcomes the release of her second book, My Father's Colors-The Drama-Filled Journey of Naya Monà Continues on March 1, 2011 to online retailers, Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, Kindle and Nook. Be sure to get your copy today! It is sure to be another Best-Seller for the author as it takes you on the journey of four individuals that lead to one destination filled with betrayal, lies and shocking secrets.
Ready to Purchase Your Copy of My Father's Colors-The Drama-Filled Journey of Naya Monà
Continues?
Click
Here. Visit the author's website: http://www.marianlthomas.com
Let’s Talk About
SEX… by Trice Hickman
When women think about their physical health, I’m not sure that most think
about their sexual health, which is just as important to one’s overall
well-being. Sex is good for you! Indulging on a regular basis, at least twice
a week, is even better. Research links sex to an array of physiological
benefits, from longevity to pain relief. Many studies don't address whether
the health bonus comes from the act itself or from the corresponding emotional
intimacy, but the bottom line is that getting physical has some great side
effects—especially for women, that include; less frequent colds and flu,
reduced depression, increased energy levels, weight loss, and overall improved
fitness.
Yes, sex is an important part of life, physically and emotionally. Here is
some information and tips that can help you get the most out your sex life.
Oh, and one very important thing...always practice safe sex!
Sex with your partner
It’s important to communicate your sexual needs to your partner. Be gentle,
but direct. Remember that sex occurs between the ears, not the legs. Tell your
partner what you want and how you like it, then be willing to give the same in
return. And ladies, please, please don’t fake an orgasm! It’s
non-productive and counter intuitive to the mission at hand. All that panting
and moaning will get you nowhere because the next time you’re making love
he’ll do the exact same thing (that you really don’t like), believing
he’s hit your sweet spot when he has actually struck out at the mound. Moan
when it feels good, and when it doesn’t, gently instruct him by guiding his
hands to where you want them to be. But don’t make him do all the work
either. Lift your hips to meet his thrusts, or straddle him (this is an
optimal position for women) and rock back and forth on top of him so that your
vagina and clitoris receive stimulation at the same time. You’ll both
appreciate the pleasure of giving and receiving.
Make it relaxing
Have your partner give you a yoni massage (the best massage ever!). Yoni is
the Sanskrit word for vagina and is loosely translated as “sacred space”
or “sacred temple”. This vaginal massage should be performed in a slow,
deliberate, and controlled manner. It is intended to relax and pleasure both
the giver and the receiver.
Okay, I’m going to get detailed so you’ll know
exactly what this massage entails and how to do it properly.... Start with
scented or edible oils and have your partner pour a small amount on the mound
of your yoni, just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the
outside of your vagina. He should gently squeeze your well lubricated outer
lips between his thumb and index finger, sliding up and down the entire length
of each lip, then do the same to the inner lips. Next, he should insert his
middle finger into the center of your yoni, massaging in a counter clockwise
position, starting at twelve o’clock, shifting over to nine o’clock,
gently easing down to six, then moving on to the three o’clock position.
Once there,
he should slowly straighten out his finger, repositioning it as he works back
up to the twelve o’clock position. Make sure he takes his time. During the
massage you should look into each other's eyes as much as possible, as this
connects you and intensifies the pleasure. Once you’ve been sufficiently
relaxed give him a lingam massage. Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis, and
is loosely translated as “wand of light”.
Again, use
scented or edible oil and gently massage his testicles and the area above the
penis, on the pubic bone. Also, massage the area between the testicles and
anus. The thumb or index finger work well for this type of stimulation. Move
on to the shaft and the head, and ladies, take your time with this. Vary your
speed and pressure, gently squeezing the penis at the base with your
well-oiled hand as you carefully pull up and slide off. Repeat this move
several times, using the same gentleness as if you were messaging your own
flesh. By the time you two are finished rubbing and touching you’ll be ready
for just about anything!
High Level of Low Self- Esteem
by Electa Rome Parks
“Many women have a high level of low
self-esteem.” – Michael Baisden
I still recall the first time I heard those words spoken by the then, up and coming nationally syndicated radio host, Michael Baisden, on Atlanta’s #1 urban radio station, V-103.
I clearly recall cringing and being totally outraged. I thought, “How dare he?” attempt to call out my African-American sistahs with such a catchy, yet degrading slogan. “He didn’t know us and if he did, how dare he air our dirty laundry.” I would hear his slogan passionately proclaimed time and time again as he made guest appearances on the show as his popularity grew.
If truth be told, I cringed because I knew women exactly like that. They were my friends, female family members, co-workers, etc. Over and over again, I witnessed it played out with the same end results. If you keep doing the same thing, you keep getting the same results. My sista-friends going above and beyond to please a man, any man, a piece of a man, just to feel love and validated. . . yet they were not receiving these things in return.
Each sad relationship story ended the same. After enduring some form of abuse at the hands of a lover, after she placed him on a pedestal, pleased him sexually, lavished him with gifts and money, accommodated his every need, took him back after he cheated, forgave him after he gave her an STD, believed in him once again as he had a baby outside the marriage---yes, it all ended the same. The lover moved on, found someone “better”, someone who respected herself or maybe repeated the pattern with another victim who was willing to give more and receive less.
When the inevitable question was asked between gut-racking sobs, “What did I do wrong?” The answer was always the same. I wanted to scream it from the midst of a mountaintop. “You have to love yourself first before you can expect anyone else to.”
Michael Baisden’s slogan touched a nerve because I had seen these women up close and personal and it wasn’t cute. My sistahs deserved so much more. Much like Kennedy Logan in True Confessions. Kennedy represents a myriad of women who have a heightened level of low self esteem due to many underlying factors. In True Confessions, simply stated, Kennedy loves the wrong man, Drake. She loves him more than she loves herself and he knows that, even thrives on that. I predict her story will make for lively candor at book club meetings as it speaks to many women who have been in or are still in her situation.
Women need to take a step back and really look at themselves and ask the question. . . do I value my worth and all I bring to the table?
They are several factors that are clear indicators of low self-esteem. Do any of these speak to you? If so, what are you going to do about it?
Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self Esteem
1. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil
3. Lack of social skills and self confidence
4. Less social conformity
5. Eating disorders
6. Inability to accept compliments
7. An inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
8. Accentuating the negative
9. Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think
10. Self neglect
11. Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
12. Worrying whether you have treated others badly
13. Reluctance to take on challenges
14. Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere
15. Reluctance to trust your own opinion
16. Expecting little out of life for yourself
17. Social withdrawal
About the Author
Electa Rome Parks currently resides outside Atlanta, Georgia. After successfully self-publishing her debut novel, The Ties That Bind, New American Library, a division of Penguin Group, bought the rights. Electa signed a three-book deal with New American Library. All three books were immediately chosen as Black Expressions Book Club main selections and embraced as Books of the Month by book clubs across the country. Dubbed a "book club favorite," avid readers have embraced Electa's true to life characters that tackle prevalent and heavy hitting issues.
Since then Electa has become a bestselling author of several other mainstream (Loose Ends and Almost Doesn't Count) and erotic (These Are My Confessions, Ladies' Night Out, Diary of a Stalker and True Confessions) novels with Penguin Group, HarperCollins and Kensington.
To find out when and where Electa will be in your area, check out her website at
www.electaromeparks.com, www.myspace.com/author_chick
or www.facebook.com/electaromeparks.
To share your thoughts with Electa regarding her work or to schedule an event, please e-mail her at
novelideal@aol.com.
In the Name of Love by Shelia E. Lipsey
Love is a many splendored thing - isn’t it?
Love is kind, gracious, not jealous or puffed up.
Love isn’t selfish or envious. If love is so wonderful, so grand, so beautiful and appealing why do marriages suffer, divorces happen, abuse infiltrates, hurt erupts, deceit desecrates and hearts are broken - all in the name of love?
J. Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri says,
“50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.”
It’s mind boggling that love can so easily turn to disdain and pain. What once started in the beginning of time when Adam and Eve came together, has now turned to something that resembles the latest fad of fashion or technology gear. We change partners like we change clothes.
If something doesn’t suit our fancies after the marriage, we are quick to run to our lawyers and before the ink is dried on the marriage certificate, the divorce papers are served.
There are some real serious reasons such as adultery and fornication that a marriage is dissolved, but there are less problematic reasons too, such as ‘he doesn’t put the toilet seat down or she doesn’t close the toothpaste cap’.
To live with another human being takes hard work. It takes commitment. It takes honesty and loyalty. It takes prayer! But most of all if takes LOVE.
Next, what part does forgiveness play in a wounded marriage? Is there a time when to expect forgiveness just doesn’t cut the bread it’s made on? Much like the couple in
My Son’s Wife, Reverend Stiles Graham finds it impossible to continue his marriage to his lovely, Christian wife Rena. He discovers that not only has the woman he adored lied to him, but she has carried deceit a step farther.
Stiles discovers his wife’s infidelity was with his sister, Francesca Graham. In the sequel,
My Son’s Ex-Wife: The Aftermath, the story delves deeper into what happens after the dirt has been uncovered, the clothes have been taken to the wash to erase the stench of cheating, the ex has been thrown aside and the preacher returns to the pulpit.
Many readers of My Son’s Wife found it difficult to understand why a man who preaches the Word of God could not forgive his wife for her actions. In the name of love, shouldn’t he have tried to rekindle the brokenness of his relationship, even though divorce occurred?
The ex-wife, Rena Graham, is caught between a rock and a hard place. In the name of love she allowed a friendship to turn ugly. In the name of love, she hid secrets from her husband. In the name of love, Rena Graham continually tortured herself because of her mistakes.
My Son’s Ex-Wife: The Aftermath reminds me of how people make decisions based on a number of things, but most often it’s because of what other people think. For instance, Stiles Graham listened to his mother, First Lady Audrey Graham.
First Lady Audrey said to some of her church friends after her preacher son’s divorce, “Yes, he’ll be fine.
Of course, the pain of divorce is something that takes time to heal; even more so, for a man of God like my Stiles. He tried, but it was no way to mend their marriage.”
But what Audrey’s son, Stiles Graham really feels is remorse over the decision he made to divorce his wife. He says in
My Son’s Ex-Wife: The Aftermath , “But I don’t have the strength, or the kind of heart that can allow her back in my life. I love her, but it’s time for me to make a fresh start. It wouldn’t be fair to Rena to have a man who couldn’t love and accept her for who she is.”
When it comes to relationships, we all make decisions, whether bad or good, and we do it all in the name of love. I believe that love, real love, true love, forever love is unconditional. However, as humans with fleshly desires, thoughts and actions it is sometimes difficult to see past hurt and pain when it seeps into a relationship. The decision is up to you the way you choose to live your life. But do remember - love is a many splendored thing. But how far do you want to go
In the Name of Love?
-- My Son’s Ex-Wife: The Aftermath is the second book in Author Shelia E. Lipsey’s
My Son’s Wife trilogy. Look for it at bookstores and online starting August 31, 2010.
Pre-order your copies today at BN.com; Amazon.com and other online e-tailers including the author’s website:
www.perfecstoriesaboutimperfectpeople.com
Excerpt from Love, Honor, and Betray
by Kimberla Lawson Roby
The infamous Reverend Curtis Black's sordid past is no secret, as his wife, Charlotte, is well aware. But when Curtis' long-time mistress and mother of his illegitimate two-year-old, dies, he and Charlotte have no choice but to raise Curtina together. While the living, breathing reminder of her husband's infidelity infuriates Charlotte, Curtis couldn't be happier to finally have his whole family together. Despite her best efforts to keep her feelings hidden, Charlotte resents Curtina, taking her emotions out on the young girl. When confronted about her behavior Charlotte starts spending time away from home, all the while getting closer to her ex-boyfriend.
Curtis appears to devote himself to his parish and the new church they're building, but is he really focusing his attention on the female parishioners trying to lure him into bed? Suddenly Curtis and Charlotte find themselves slipping into dangerous territory, and not even Curtis' seven-figure salary can prevent what is about to happen.
Love, Honor, and Betray Prologue
The verdict had sort of been in for months now. But at this very moment, Charlotte's feelings were crystal clear: She hated Curtina. She despised this tiny, little two-year-old with a passion and wanted her out. She wanted her gone because it wasn't fair that Charlotte had to stomach Curtis's illegitimate daughter on a daily basis. Curtina was there all the time, what with her tramp of a mother going in and out of the hospital on the regular. Of course, it was true that Tabitha had been stricken with the AIDS virus and hadn't been able to care for Curtina the way any mother would want, but that wasn't Charlotte's fault. As a matter of fact, it was Tabitha's own fault a thousand times over, thanks to all the whoring around she'd done.
But since today was Christmas, and Curtis and Matthew were so elated to have Curtina there with them, she was going to plaster on the best fake smile she could and pretend to be happy. She would act as though she loved Curtina and was overjoyed about being her stepmother. She would do this even though she couldn't stand that little heifer.
"Wow, Dad, thank you!" Matthew yelled out, when he opened yet another one of his gifts and then went over and hugged his father. Then, he reached down, all six foot two inches of him, and hugged Charlotte. "This is exactly what I wanted, so thank you too, Mom. And just wait until Elijah and Jonathan hear about this!" He was already pulling out his iPhone to text his two childhood best friends.
Charlotte looked at Curtis and they both smiled. Of all the presents they'd gotten Matthew, they knew this two-thousand-dollar gift card would be the one he loved most, since he would now be able to purchase that set of chrome rims he'd been begging for over the last three months. Never mind that a perfectly nice set of rims had come standard with the brand-.new rag top BMW they'd bought him shortly after he'd finished driver's school, Matthew had still decided he wanted something different. He continued getting straight As at the college preparatory school he'd attended for years now, and as a junior he had already aced both the ACT and SAT exams in the fall, so they didn't see why he shouldn't have the one thing he wanted most. It was also hard to deprive any child who'd already received early interest from Harvard.
"We thought you'd be pretty excited," Charlotte told him.
"Excited isn't even the word," he said, keying in the last of his message. "I'm ecstatic and thrilled out of my mind."
Curtis laughed. "We're glad, son. You're a good kid, and you deserve it."
"So, can we go get them tomorrow?" Matthew asked his dad.
"Yeah, I suppose we could. Although, I have to say, that day-after-Christmas shopping traffic is going to be a monster."
"Maybe, but I doubt the auto shops are going to be crowded," Matthew said.
"I doubt it, too. So, yes, we'll head there first thing in the morning."
Matthew smiled and then scooped up his baby sister, who squealed with total joy, the same as she always did whenever her big brother gave her his undivided attention.
It was enough to make Charlotte ill. She hated the fact that Matthew loved Curtina as much as he did, and what she loathed even more was the brightness she saw in Curtis's eyes as he watched both of his children. He seemed so relieved and so at peace seeing them together and living as what appeared to be the perfect American family. But what he didn't know was that Charlotte hoped, wished, and prayed every chance she got that Tabitha would be healed. She prayed that, if nothing else, Tabitha would live at least for the next sixteen years, so she could raise her own child and keep primary custody of her until she graduated high school. Charlotte wanted this so desperately that she asked God for this very thing every night before going to bed and then again each morning as soon as she woke up. It was the first thought in her mind, once she opened her eyes and realized her nightmare was reality.
But no matter how much she prayed, for some reason God just didn't seem to be hearing her. Instead of Curtina spending less time in their household, her visits had only become more frequent, so much so that she was making Charlotte's life unbearable. This little girl that Curtis loved with his entire being was ruining the wonderful life Charlotte had worked so hard to create for herself and Matthew. Curtina was destroying everything, but Charlotte could tell Curtis had no idea how strongly she felt about this. Not to mention, she did feel somewhat guilty—not much, but somewhat guilty—about once having an affair herself and then having a child by her lover.
Needless to say, this was the real reason Charlotte couldn't be as verbally outraged as she wanted to be when it came to Curtina and the reason she had at least tried to love her and forget that she was a product of Curtis's extramarital philandering. But the truth was, she couldn't forget. She didn't want to, and instead she longed for the opportunity to speak her mind, loudly and forcefully. However, she knew Curtis would quickly remind her of her own sins. He would toss all her past mistakes right back in her face, and she wouldn't have any ground to stand on.
Charlotte lifted a cup of the hot cinnamon apple tea she'd made earlier, sipped some of it, and admired the beautiful twelve-foot Christmas tree. It was beautifully adorned with velvet bows as well as crystal and gold ornaments, and the woman she'd been hiring to decorate for the last two years had completely outdone herself. One year ago, the main color scheme had been purple and white, but this year she'd chosen the traditional red and green and it was fabulous. Even the wreaths layered across the fireplace mantle and those circling all three levels of the staircase couldn't have been more striking, and Charlotte was going to make sure to call Lettie before the day was over to thank her.
Charlotte looked up when she saw Curtis walking toward her with a tiny little turquoise bag swinging from his hand.
"Oh my God," she said, thinking how she'd already opened five other very expensive gifts from him. "You got me something else?"
"That I did," he said, leaning down and kissing her.
Matthew walked over with his little sister in tow. "We both know what that is, don't we, Curtina?"
Curtina clapped her hands, acting as though she fully understood that Charlotte was obviously in for a pleasant surprise.
"Now, I'm almost afraid to open it," Charlotte said.
Curtis reached his hand out. "Okay, then, I'll just take it back."
"No," Charlotte said, quickly pulling out the container, unwrapping the white satin bow, and pulling out the jewelry box. When she opened it, her heart skipped a beat, and all she could do was place her hand over her mouth. What she saw was at minimum a six-carat diamond, with the center diamond alone being no less than three carats.
"Wow, Dad, that ring looks even bigger than when we saw it at the store. I mean, talk about bling bling, Mom."
They all laughed, and Charlotte stood up and hugged her husband. "I don't believe you did this."
"Why not? Because it's not like you don't deserve it, and I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate the way you've supported me and stood by my side, no matter what." "I love you, too, baby," she said, as Curtis slipped the monstrous rock on her finger. Then, the two of them held each other and gazed into each other's eyes. This was by far one of the best moments they'd shared together in recent months, and Charlotte didn't want it to end. She wanted them to be happy and content and after what Curtis had just done for her; she was going to work harder on her feelings toward Curtina. She would never accept her, but what she would do is learn to tolerate her more than she had and focus more on the bond she and Curtis shared as man and wife.
After a few minutes passed, Charlotte realized what time it was, and since their housekeeper, Agnes, had the day off to be with her own family, Charlotte went into the kitchen to start breakfast. Thankfully, she didn't have much to do when it came to Christmas dinner because her aunt Emma had invited everyone to her house. Aunt Emma was an extremely wonderful cook, so even Charlotte's parents were driving over from the Chicago area and Charlotte's best friend, Janine Wilson, and her husband and daughter were joining them as well.
But just as Charlotte opened the refrigerator to pull out a carton of eggs, the phone rang and she walked toward it. She could already see the words MITCHELL MEMORIAL displayed on the caller ID Screen, and she immediately thought back to the day Curtina had been born and how Tabitha had called Curtis to inform him of it. Charlotte knew this was her calling now, too, and she hoped Tabitha hadn't been admitted, because this would mean she'd had yet another setback and they would have to keep Curtina well beyond the holiday weekend.
Charlotte hesitated but finally answered. "Hello?"
"Charlotte?" Tabitha's best friend. Connie, said in tears.
"Yes?"
"I just wanted to let you know that Tabitha was rushed back to the hospital early this morning . . . and she's gone. She passed away about a half hour ago."
Charlotte heard what the woman was saying but couldn't respond. She just stood there thinking how she could never love Curtina the way she loved Matthew and how she could never be a mother to her. Then, as more seconds passed, fast and furiously, she thought how none of this drama would be happening if Curtis hadn't slept with that witch, Tabitha, in the first place.
This was all his fault, and she hated him for it. She hated what he was putting her through, and this sprawling mansion they lived in wasn't going to be big enough for both her and Curtina. One of them would clearly have to go, and it wasn't going to be her.
Curtis would either get rid of that little brat or find himself in divorce court.
Reverend Curtis Black Series
* Casting The First Stone
* Too Much of a Good Thing
* The Best-Kept Secret
* Love and Lies
* Sin No More
* The Best of Everything
* Be Careful What You Pray For
* Love, Honor, and Betray
About the Author
Kimberla Lawson Roby is the New York Times bestselling author of the acclaimed Reverend Curtis Black Series. She lives with her husband in Rockford, Illinois. For more information, please visit
www.kimroby.com.
How
to Overcome a Dysfunctional Family Legacy
By
Dr. Daryl Green
Are
you dealing with negative vibes in your family? Do you feel like your
being held hostage by your family dysfunctional behavior? Unfortunately,
no one has a perfect family. In fact, there’s probably some
dysfunctional behavior in everyone’s family tree; most people are too
ashamed to admit it. Confusion can destroy a close-knit family. In
this situation, the word “family” primarily refers to your extended
relatives (brother, sister, aunt, cousin, etc.). Communication usually
breaks down--feelings get hurt. Disharmony can happen to any family. In
fact, this situation can be created either by individual choices or by the
decisions of others. You can see it created through many ways:
selfish sibling, drugs taking control, dependent relatives, money-stricken
friends, or toxic relationships. Can you think of others?
Many
issues can cause family confusion. Many people tend to react to
their gut feeling without thinking through the consequences. Don’t
believe these personal decisions only impact you. No, short-term choices
can leave a legacy of total disasters. Do you need examples? Take
someone else’s loved one? Threaten to kill someone? We live in a
society where no one wants to wait and develop a real relationship.
People prefer to generate quick “soap opera” relationships to shield their
insecurities. There are unintended
consequences. In 2000, former NFL star Derrick Thomas died from injuries
suffered in an auto accident. Thomas had fame, fortune, and a bright future.
He probably hoped to leave fans a legacy of outstanding memories.
Unfortunately, this was not the case. It stands as another American tragedy.
He left seven children from five different women and no will. While
Thomas earned more than $30 million in his football career, his children will
long remember the legacy of dysfunctional family memories. Therefore,
individual actions can contribute to the level of dysfunctional behavior in
families.
Some
family members can also create family disharmony. A small dose of
confusion can spread like a wild fire in a family. You can always find
at least one person looking to generate “mess” in a family. What
will start it this time? Family property? Money? This person
will not let the problem die down; he is not content until there is a big
explosion. The results are generally not positive. In our own
family, we have seen family members fight over property. There is
generally lots of anger and hurt feelings. Often kids are caught in the
middle, left to carry on this confusion (even when they don’t understand the
cause). While many involved in these types of situations are left empty,
some people thrive on this negative energy and seem to get enjoyment from it
(the more trouble, the better). They celebrate disharmony. We call
these folks “troublemakers” or “instigators.” Here are some
suggestions for improving these situations:
·
Recognize the potential problem.
·
Deal with the problem immediately.
Don’t wait.
·
Determine the root cause. What
is the situation really about?
·
Determine who really needs to get
involved. Do you need to broadcast the problem to everyone in the
family?
·
Find common ground and create a
win-win situation, if possible.
·
Keep your cool.
Building
a strong family bond takes commitment. It’s easy to get
sidetracked by “he said, she said” ordeals. It takes courage to look
beyond the surface problems to determine the real root cause. You have
to be stern in your beliefs…and committed. You need to focus on
what’s critical for your family. Make every attempt to live at peace
with everyone. Determine to make yourself a peacemaker and don’t allow
yourself to be conquered by negativism. Stand Tall. Embrace your
relatives with positive vibes. Effective individuals want to build harmony in
their families. Start today before it is too late!
Dr.
Daryl D. Green writes on contemporary issues impacting individuals,
businesses, and society across the globe. With over 18 years of
management experience, Dr. Green’s expertise has been noted and quoted by
USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can
go to http://stores.lulu.com/darygre
or http://www.darylgreen.org.
EMPOWERING SINGLE MOTHERS
RAISING MALE CHILDREN
Step Up Your Game as a Parent: Boys and School by David Miller
In most major metropolitan cities African American males drop out of school at a rate of 50%. These alarming numbers can be turned around! Do you want son to succeed in school? If the answer is yes, then it is time for you to "Step Up Your Game as a Parent!"
Here are just a few other tips to Step Up Your Game as a Parent:
» Make reading an essential part of your home life. Read aloud to your son and/or set aside quiet time each day in which your family can sit together and read silently. TURN the TV OFF.
» Use your daily time with your son wisely. When you are in the car or walking to the school bus, talk to your son (s) about what they are learning in school,
or prompt a conversation about a topic that they find interesting and intriguing.
» Know what interests your son. Be involved in all aspects of your son's school career.
» Encourage your son to register for educational extra-curricular programs. Parental encouragement makes a huge difference in whether children go to [educational] out-of-school-time programs.
» Monitor your son's technology. Always be prepared to check his Facebook, MySpace, and Cell phone. Youth have become more interested in social networking than doing homework.
» Stay connected with his teachers. Get the email address and contact phone numbers for your son's teachers. Boys who have a parent involved in their school life tend to do better academically and socially.
» Develop a village of people who can visit your son's school. Many times due to work schedules, parents can't attend important school meetings. Identify others who can advocate for your son. This should include Dad. Often, dad never get announcements about events and meetings at school.
Failure is not an OPTION! This should become the mantra in your house. Our boys need a great deal of encouragement when it comes to school.
Book Suggestion for Parents: Raising Him Alone
Things Black Women Can do to Raise Black Boys to be Men
By David Miller and Matthew P. Stevens
"Raising Him Alone” by David Miller and Matthew P. Stevens is a must read book for single mothers!" -- recommended by Ella Curry, president of EDC Creations Media Group
Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys. Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives, RHA seeks to increase access to resources in the areas of Health & Well Being (Mental Health), Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as Financial
Literacy. For more information on Raising Him Alone, the campaign schedule of events and resources visit,
www.raisinghimalone.com. For more information on David Miller, visit
www.urbanleadershipinstitute.com
When discussing the topic of sex with your son, it is essential to begin with letting him know that you want to be able to have an open and honest conversation. The discussion should be developmental in nature, based on your son's age and level of maturity. While many moms would love to have a man around to talk to your son, the reality is that this is a conversation that can't wait.
Mother's should also stress to their sons that although it may be difficult for a boy to discuss sex with his mother, it's important for his own health and safety. Mother's should begin with suggested topics like good touch and bad touch, masturbation (touching yourself), being attracted to another person, kissing, oral sex and STDs. The following are four quick tips for parents:
1. Admit to your son that sex is a great thing - however, explain the risks associated with sexual content. Also discuss the importance of learning about your body and being able to discuss your body parts with your parents before considering sex.
2.
Spend time making sure you and your son read about his body parts - It seems that many parents find it easier to talk to girls about sex than boys. Often, girls are given far more information about sex than boys. Things like having an erection or a wet dream are things that mothers must be willing to discuss. These items can't be left up to your son's peer group to discuss.
3. What are your son's friends saying about sex? - Perhaps one of the most important aspects of talking to you son about sex is discussing what his peers have to say about sex. This would include myths, slang terms and gossip. This vital information provides you with a better understanding of the information that your son is exposed to.
4. You can't wait for your son's father or a male friend to talk to your son about sex - Many mothers opt to wait for the father or another significant male figure to talk about sex with your son. While having another responsible man discuss sex with your son is important, you can't wait. With the internet and exposure to MTV, VH1 and BET, boys are bombarded with images of sex. Thus, mothers can't afford to wait for the male perspective.
Raising Him Alone (RHA) is dedicated to researching, designing, and implementing a campaign to support the social well being of single mothers raising boys. Through a series of intense community forums, workshops and support group initiatives, RHA seeks to increase access to resources in the areas of Health & Well Being (Mental Health), Educational Support & Advocacy, as well as Financial Literacy.
Video
Introduction: The New Jim Crow by Professor Michelle Alexander. Professor Michelle Alexander courageously tells America, "I'm a criminal and so are you!" She has brilliantly unraveled the plan to criminalize young Black and Brown men in America. She tells us when the plan was created, when it was implemented, how it works, who benefits from it and how it has produced a new pseudo-slavery for Black men in America.
Praise for The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness
“For every century there is a crisis in our democracy, the response to which defines how future generations view those who were alive at the time. In the 18th century it was the transatlantic slave trade, in the 19th century it was slavery, in the 20th century it was Jim Crow. Today it is mass incarceration. Alexander's book offers a timely and original framework for understanding mass incarceration, its roots to Jim Crow, our modern caste system, and what must be done to eliminate it. This book is a call to action.”
—Benjamin Todd Jealous, President and CEO, NAACP
“After reading The New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexander's stunning work of scholarship, one gains the terrible realization that, for people of color, the American criminal justice system resembles the Soviet Union's gulag---the latter punished ideas, the former punishes a condition.”
—David Levering Lewis, Pulitzer-prize winning historian at NYU and author of W.E.B. Du Bois: The Fight for Equality and the American Century, 1919-1963
“A powerful analysis of why and how mass incarceration is happening in America, The New Jim Crow should be required reading for anyone working for real change in the criminal justice system.”
—Ronald E. Hampton, Executive Director, National Black Police Association
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness
ISBN-10: 1595581030 | ISBN-13: 978-1595581037
#1 in Amazon Books > Nonfiction > Law > Criminal Law
#1 in Amazon Books > History > United States > African Americans
The only child is automatically stigmatized by society as being spoiled
brats. When asked to describe the personality of a only child, many
people will respond negatively.
Statistics show only children often grow up to be outstanding, but there is a
long-standing prejudice against the only child. What
do you think about when you see the words only child?
Someone
who:
· Is
all alone
· Is
really spoiled by parents and grandparents
·
Has no one to talk to or play with when he/she is at home
· Has
everything he/ she wants because there are no other kids to share with
When
you are the only child, you can get really lonely if you don’t have a strong
relationship with your parents. Some children may be lonely, while
others may enjoy having the full attention of their parents. So, on the
one hand, it’s just you; on the other hand, it’s just you. Many only
children live near others and have lots of friends. I would wish that I
had someone that’s on my level. I wanted to be a big sister or a little
sister. If I had a sister or brother, I would have had someone that I
could spend time with and share some of my responsibilities like doing different
chores. I would have to wash the dishes, take out the trash, wash clothes,
and cook. We could share these responsibilities. But, only children can
learn to be very good at doing things on their own as well. Well, I may
not have brothers and sisters but I had to learn to share with the others in the
family. Children tend to learn from each other: social skills, behavior
patterns, and even share silly things like the “birds and the bees.”
Children need companionship from individuals their own age.
Being an only child does not mean that you must be a lonely child.
Everyone needs to spend time alone, time with family, and time with friends.
Only children have different benefits. For instance, at lease they don’t
have to share the last piece of cake.
As an only child Christmases are amazing. You would get all the presents
and not have to share with anybody. Your mom would make sure that you got
just about everything that you asked for and then some. One big plus to
being an only child is no hand-me-downs. The only child got all of the attention
and it seemed like the spotlight was all on you and no one else. Also,
let’s not forget about the birthdays. The only child will get all of the
attention and affection. Often, the child will receive more at each
birthday party. They too were very special. It does not get any
better than that. Most times, the only child was quiet, shy, and reserved.
I kept to myself most of the time. If you are an only child, you don’t have to
share the spotlight with anyone else.
It seemed like I had to grow up so fast and learn things quickly like doing
different chores that I listed. It’s very easy to spoil an only
child, but the parents just have to make sure they appreciate what they have.
Getting lots of love and attention from your grandparents is spoiling kids,
seems to be saying love is bad. Love and attention is good for individuals
as long as they will treat each other with respect. Moms of only children are
over protective, like making sure their children are supervised at all times. A
lot of individuals have placed only children as being better because
economically they are better off. They receive more attention and feel
more secure.
My mom was a teacher, and I had a lot of family members in the school
system; they all looked after me all the time. If I was to stray away from
the right path, someone would be right there to bring me back and straighten me
out.
I was forced to be out going because this was the only way I would make
friends. I had to entertain myself a lot because I didn’t have a
built in playmate. I had to be independent. Only children achieve
more than others. The parents have more time and other resources to devote
toward their child’s development. These children tend to do better in
school and complete more years of education than others. In my case, I did
do better than some of my classmates. I also furthered my education when I
attended college. Many of my classmates couldn’t go to college back in
my day. I chose to play sports and learn to play the saxophone because I was
missing companionship. It seemed like it released me from some of my
responsibilities. When practice was over, I was back in the same situation
that I was in.
Being
an only child, you couldn’t blame any one for things being broken. All
eyes were on you at all times. I know being the only child has its ups and
downs, but at the end of the day it all balances out. Only children today, are completely different people from those of just a few decades
ago; they're far more numerous, they are happier individuals who are well-balanced and more
social.
About the
Writer Charlean Hopes Charlean Hopes is a English
Teacherat Fort Bend ISD,
TX. Charlean has been a teacher for more than 30 plus years. She had some adversity trying to get the degree in teaching.
She has always wanted to be a teacher. Her mom was a teacher and she had several Aunts and Uncles that were teachers and Principals.
Growing up in a small town with less than 3, ooo people; it is not a lot of promise.
She knew that she did not want to live there forever. She was the only child and was very sheltered.
In order to escape from the home life she needed to pursue her goal and her dream.
She played sports and the one sport she really excelled in was track. She had broken a couple of records in high school while she was running track.
She went to state and ran in the state track meet and broke some records there also.
She has won several trophies, metals, ribbons, and certificates in her honor.
Since graduating from Groesbeck High School; she had gotten a full scholarship in track to Prairie View A & M University.
Once she made it to college she could finally pursue her degree in Music and also be able to run track as well.
While in track at Prairie View A & M University, she went to the Olympic trials.
She also went to Texas Southern University to get certified in Special Education.
She volunteers her services as a timekeeper for track and field for the Texas Southern University relays and worked Prairie View relays.
This is a once a year relay and she has been doing this for about
25 plus years. She also does tutoring for special need kids. She has
2 (two) kids by the name of Lee Andrew Hopes Jr. (37) and Latoya Michelle Hopes
(26). She has been married to Darrell Walker for a year. She is a member of Windsor Village Methodist Church.
Preparing our Christian Children for a Lifelong Marriage?
by Angie Lewis
As Christian parents what is our duty to our children? How can we prepare our children for a lifelong marriage? Did you know that 95% of children grow up and get married and have families but no one ever teaches them a thing about how to value and cherish marriage and family! They manage their marriage the same way everyone else does, without much regard to its Creator. Half of marriages end in divorce and many of those marriages are supposedly Christian based marriages.
We are literally throwing our children out into the lion's den without any proper Christian values and morals! Don't you get it? Scripture clearly speaks to us and lets us know that Christ Ones are to be set apart from the world and be examples of Christ. I'm sorry but I just don't see that happening. What kind of Christians are we if we aren't teaching our children Godly wisdom for righteous living?
Christian Women and Moms as Role Models
"Then they (older women and mothers) can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, that no one will malign the word of God." (Titus 2:4-5)
The above verse speaks volumes to older Christian women. If you are of an age of position, where young people look up to you, or if you are a mother of teenage daughters make sure that your example is motivating rather than discouraging and wholesome rather than disrespectful. This is our duty and Christian service to God through Christ.
It is up to Christian people and parents to instill right Christian values and morals in our children and neighbors. Why are we disregarding such an important aspect of parenting? Christian women and mothers are called to be role models to the younger generation in whatever capacity God has gifted them with. Some women are good encouragers, others are good at showing by example through how they dress and behave with their own husbands. Whatever God has gifted you with, use it and be a shining star for young girls and women of today.
Christian Men and Dads as an Example
"Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us".
(Titus 2:6-7)
Shouldn't we be teaching our sons and young men today how to be good husbands and dads? Many young men today live in a home where dads have neglected their responsibilities to their wives and children. This poor example grows like a snowball that is rolling down a hill, and it will continue through the generations causing even more heartache and family breakups.
Husbands and Fathers should be good role models for their sons and for other young men. Older Christian men should be teaching the younger men to be protective, loving and respectful of all women, even those who have not found their way to God yet. Help young women find their way to God through your respect of and brotherly love for her.
This is how Christian values are passed down from generation to generation. It is the older Christian man's duty to teach integrity, self-control, seriousness and soundness of speech in the younger generation.
Remember: Being preachy doesn't work, being an example does.
Marriage and family values are becoming a thing of the past and that is unfortunate because healthy marriages and families are what keep society somewhat civilized! Have you taught your sons and daughters the importance of commitment in marriage? There are many things are sons and daughter need to know before getting married. How about cherishing abstinence and emotional purity before marriage.
Do we teach our children about saving themselves for their spouse?
When Christians of today get so caught up in the worldly affairs of men, they stop relying on God's way and God is the Creator of marriage, so how does that work? Christians need to start relying on and depending on God, and not just when hardship falls their way. Depending on God is our realization of our own powerlessness without him. God is the Christians source of power and we receive His help for right Christian living when we rely on him every day, not just when we are suffering. This is how we prepare our children for a lifelong marriage.
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in your richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom."
(Colossians 3:15)
These Boots are Made for Stalking
by Electa Rome Parks
When best-selling author, Xavier Preston, meets his fanatic fan, Pilar, he gets more than he bargained for. What starts out as an erotic one-night stand quickly spirals out of control into a dangerous game of obsession and pain. . . with both parties playing to win.
Think you know what goes on behind the literary scene? Think again.
When most of us think of stalkers and stalking, we think of high profile celebrity cases that we hear of in the news. Reality is that most of us will be stalked at some point in our lives. One out of every 20 adults will be stalked in their lifetime. Below are examples of normal, everyday people who were victims:
• a retail CEO and family stalked by a 21 year old male who was rejected for employment
• a 58 year old woman being stalked by her 35 year old male next door neighbor
• a 32 year old woman stalked by a 35 year old man she met through a personal ad
• a 40 year old lesbian stalked by two different previous girlfriends
• a female attorney stalked by a client in divorce case
• a 29 year old male dentist being stalked by 22 year old short-term girlfriend (law student)
• a social worker and her family stalked by female patient (with BPD)
When it first entered my mind to write a stalker story, I wanted to fulfill three
obligations with my new book, Diary of a Stalker:
1. I wanted it to be a realistic and fact-based portrayal of a stalker
2. Secondly, I simply knew the stalker had to be female and her victim a male author
3. Lastly, I knew I wanted the storyline to encompass elements of the goings on in the literary arena
Stalkers can be classified into five categories and in my novel, Diary of a Stalker, Pilar would be classified as the intimacy seeker:
The Intimacy Seeker is a stalker who pursues an intimate relationship with someone whom they have identified as their “true love.” However, the stalker’s attentions are not wanted by the object of their affection. Stalkers who fall into this category often have a delusional disorder (e.g., erotomania), and may suffer from other serious Axis 1 disorders such as schizophrenia or mania.
After deciding on the three aspects that had to absolutely be a part of my book,
Diary of a Stalker, I then proceeded to ask myself a few “what if” questions.
What would make a seemingly normal female start stalking a male author? And why this particular author? How far would she go with her stalking behavior? How would he handle it?
Of course the reasons for the behavior were multi-layered and couldn’t be summed up in a neat, tidy book. However, I think female stalkers are looking for something that is missing from within themselves or for something that is absent from their own lives.
There is a void. In the case of Pilar, she was missing elements of being protected, genuinely loved, and feeling valued; she thought she had found those things in Xavier. However, she confused sex with love, as a lot of women do.
Pilar envisioned what she thought her life would be like with Xavier, if only she could have him, totally possess him. Many stalkers live in a fantasy world within their own mind. They feel if they can possess this perfect person (male or female), then their life will be complete and any problems or troubles they may have will magically disappear.
In Pilar’s case, she believed Xavier was her soul mate, the one man that made her life complete. All the other men had merely been dress rehearsal in her search for him. She came to believe that what Xavier wrote in his books were to her, about her and for her only. In her mind, because he was kind to her, she felt they were connected at a much deeper, spiritual level. Unfortunately when fantasy meets reality, the two typically clash.
**Visit the The Anti-Stalking Web Site for more information**
Diary of a Stalker by Electa Rome Parks
When best-selling author, Xavier Preston, meets his fanatic fan, Pilar, he gets more than he bargained for. What starts out as an erotic one-night stand quickly spirals out of control into a dangerous game of obsession and pain. . . with both parties playing to win.
Think you know what goes on behind the literary scene? Think again.
But Tell Me This…How Many Scars Do You Really Have? Author A. Life…
Few people know or realize that the word scar is a derivative of a Greek term meaning; place of fire. (Hence, the burning sensation one gets when an injury occurs.) In life, we all go through our own ‘fires’ but it is how we come out that determines what type of scar, if any, we will incur. Aside from the fact that a scar’s appearance is the direct result of a previous wound, it doesn't seem so bad if it’s small or in an inconspicuous location that’s easy to conceal. And though we desire ways to treat the scar(s), we often find ourselves trying to hide them behind the walls of clothing. Truth be told, scars never completely go away, but there are some methods that can aide in the reduction of its size and appearance.
Author
A. Life… displays in her latest release, titled: Secret Wounds & Hidden Pain
(ISBN: 978-1-61623-785-1), the lives of four different women; all wearing the same mask-like band-aid, with the intent of hiding the pain of life’s wounds. She uniquely demonstrates in each woman; how she received her wound(s) and how she will eventually receive her scar(s) of healing. While it is impossible for her to shield us from all injury, it is Life’s desire that we come to know that scars are a natural part of the healing process. And in order to speed up the process we must be willing to remove the secrecy of all masks and/or bandages, so the air of life can act as a healer.
When we openly reveal ourselves to the world, what is seen is truth. Wounds are not always secret and real pain is certainly not something that can be hidden. As stated by the author, “We as a people must try not to falsely hide behind walls of wounds, but showcase our lives in such a way that everyone is able to see a life free of pain, displaying scar-like wounds of beauty. For He promised to give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…” How many scars do you have? Show’em off!
Secret Wounds & Hidden Pain
by A. Life...
As I wrote this book, I pondered the title as a subject and was floored. Tears ran the length of my face because I never really acknowledged the mere thoughts or ideas behind my life's scars; visible as well as hidden. When my visibility was clearer and the tears were dried up, I was able to stand boldly and give what I had been babying; a name. That name as we have come to know is none other than the title of my latest novel; Secret Wounds & Hidden Pain.
As I began to question the similitude of the terms; wounds and pain, along with secret and hidden; an answer quickly forced itself into my mental fibers. How can a wound be secret? How can you hide pain? The answer is simple; a cover-up. We all know what covers were created to do but do we understand fully what they weren't created for as well? COVERS ARE TEMPORARY SHIELDS FROM EXTERNAL ELEMENTS! When the outside threat is extinguished, the cover is to be removed. This is the part we forget about. That which is 'undercover' needs to be exposed. Remember, even the rough has to move, so the brilliancy of the diamond can be seen by the world. TAKE THE COVERS OFF AND YOU'LL BE AMAZED AT HOW GOOD THE 'YOU' YOU'VE BEEN HIDING REALLY LOOKS.
As I close, it is still my endeavor to Help Heal the Hurt with Happiness, by purchasing gifts and/or much needed items for children suffering with cancer. My DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 14, 2009. I ask you to purchase my book for $19.95 so I can use the proceeds for this beautiful task. If you can not purchase the book, I would hope that you could donate to the cause. Thank You All in Advance.
--- written by author A. Life... in her monthly newsletter
Secret Wounds & Hidden Pain by author A. Life...
Charlene; a church-going woman who is married to an adulterous preacher, Denise; an exotic dancer who eventually finds out her ‘best customer’ holds the title of her rapist, Michelle; the wife of an abusive, jobless, porn addict, and Katrina; a successful businesswoman who secretly has abortions to maintain her status. All of them lead totally different lives while unknowingly wearing the same mask. Each woman believes no one else can see or feel what she is going through, but will individually find out that the painful wounds she is experiencing are deep enough to be seen and felt by the world.
STAY TUNED... Secret Wounds & Hidden Pain: The Stage Play will be coming
soon.
For More Info. Visit My Website: www.eborya.com
Saving a Marriage is a Lifelong Process! By Emma Audley
Saving a marriage is perhaps one of the prime concern areas of every married couple. With divorce rates hitting an all time high, it is no wonder that couples are permanently in a state of anxiety whether they are playing their roles right in the marriage. But is saving a marriage very difficult? The answer is both 'yes' and 'no'.
Saving a marriage can be a daunting task for people who are overtly egoistic.
Selfishness really has no place if you want a marriage to remain on the right tracks. Unfortunately the term 'compromise' is more associated with submissiveness and subservience these days, but in reality compromise in a marriage can be one of the crucial pillars in saving a marriage.
Yet, saving a marriage is easy for couples who base their relationship on mutual trust, love and respect. It is as much important to trust your partner implicitly, as to respect that trust. Once you deviate from this path, the trust is lost forever. In any case, it can take years to rebuild the lost trust.
Some experts have equated marriage to a young sapling that refuses to grow. It remains tender, brittle and vulnerable to damage nearly forever, unless you nurture and provide nourishment by way of loving, understanding and most importantly with your forgiveness. For saving a marriage, you have to forgive each other for the follies and the inevitable idiosyncrasies, which incidentally differentiate us from being robots.
While there are no clear-cut formula for saving a marriage, as every marriage works on a set of parameters which are unique and individualized, there are still some golden rules for saving a marriage, which are given below:
• Every marriage, after a few years would turn into something predictable and may be boring too. Learn to accept this reality, rather than rejecting it. For the sake of saving a marriage, it is your responsibility to allow fresh air into the relationship. There are countless ways you can do this.
• For saving a marriage, learn to accept the way your spouse is. It is impossible to change a person intrinsically, and remodel him or her according to what you like. You can create a 'customized' individual but this would not help you saving a marriage.
• Develop implicit faith in your spouse's abilities. Obviously he or she would perform in some areas and fail in some. Remember, you too are not perfect.
• For saving a marriage, respect your spouse for what he or she is. Look at their good points while learning to ignore the aspects you do not quite like.
• Always keep the channels of communication open, where neither of you should hesitate to share your confidences with each other. For saving a marriage, you are first best friends and then husband and wife.
• Learn to laugh together. This can have immense therapeutic value in saving a marriage as well as help you tide over many crises in life.
• Be prepared to walk that extra mile if you are really keen in saving a marriage. Whether you like it or not, a relationship only survives and thrives if you adjust to each others' whims and fancies.
• Be an encouraging partner. Refrain from overt and negative criticism. Try and avoid being abusive both physically and verbally.
Whether you are still together and having problems or you are already separated and want to save your marriage the next step is absolutely crucial!
Don't make the mistake of saying or doing something that will kill your chances of getting back together with your spouse. Visit my site to find out what you need to do to save your marriage and emotionally reconnect with your spouse.
I have a degree in psychology and years of experience as a therapist in couples and marriage counseling.
I gave up my career as a therapist when my older daughter became ill soon after she was born. Fortunately, she is perfectly healthy and a very happy child today.
I have since moved to another country and I have no plans to resume my career as a therapist. However, I still enjoy helping rejected lovers put their derailed relationships back on track.
Article
Source
Marriage Self Help - When You Feel Like You're in it Alone By R P Smith
Very few marriages exist without reaching a crucial fork in the road at some point and a marriage self help strategy can be very effective when this happens. Many marriages have reached the point where separation and possibly even divorce begin to seem like the only option. Often times, one spouse remains committed to the marriage despite his or her unhappiness and the other spouse seems ambivalent or even unaware that there is a problem.
The following marriage self help strategies can be extremely effective even if you feel like you are in this thing alone:
1. Heal your self - This is not a suggestion to enter marriage counseling. Often times these so-called "marriage counselors" are nothing more than licensed therapists with little or no actual training in how to save a marriage. I'm talking about individual counseling to help you sort through your own issues.
2. Worry about yourself - Do not engage in personal attacks on your
spouse. Do not be critical of them. Stay positive and worry about your own words and actions. Take ownership for what you do and say, regardless of what you may think or feel about the other person.
3. Make time for yourself - Do what you love! Engage in hobbies or activities that make you happy. Involve your spouse if it makes sense and he or she is interested but make time for yourself to pursue what you enjoy doing.
4. Take care of yourself - Regardless of how lousy you may be feeling in this marriage, better diet and exercise are bound to help. You'll feel better and be in a much more resourceful state to handle the adversity.
Marriage self help, as I'm talking about here, is about working on yourself to improve your marriage. This will pay dividends regardless of what your spouse's role is in all this. You can still
save your marriage even if your partner is not willing to try.
Improving yourself to save your marriage is just a beginning. I have so much more stuff I want to share with you
at Marriage Self Help that will help you make your marriage even better than it ever has been. And yes, even if your spouse wants a divorce,
you can save the marriage!
Article Source
Coping with Dementia by Niambi Davis
My mother was a Golden Girl - not Bea Arthur and certainly not Estelle Getty, but one of a group of widowed friends, active anchors of the community, and world travelers. It was an affectionate title, given by a community who loved them.
In 1971 my mother retired after 40 years of teaching. "What will I do now," she asked. It didn't take long for her to find out. She bought a new car when she felt like it, founded a male choir at her church, flew to Africa for the United Methodist Church, sailed on the Queen Elizabeth II, cruised the Western Caribbean, visited me in Trinidad and found her way to more than a few of the 50 states. Add in her 1965 European tour and she had seen more of the world than many.
In the early '90s my mother suffered a stroke from which she made a full recovery. "One day a light bulb went off in my head," she told me. Soon she was at home, resuming the life she led before the bleed in her brain.
A few years later, a second stroke changed both our lives in ways that neither of us could have imagined. This time, I sold my furniture, packed up my family and moved back home.
I had it all figured out - both of us were only children and had always been close. Now I'd be her caregiver and we would exist in the mother/daughter nirvana I'd created in my mind. Talk about unprepared for reality! Soon I wondered who she had become. Had her illness brought out resentments that she'd harbored for years? It didn't help that, even at my age, her opinion of me mattered greatly. Intellectually, I understood what was happening. My mother had gone from a life of total independence to wearing Depends and requiring the use of a walker. And what about me? The evil twins of resentment and guilt became my newest, closest companions. And when they came, they helped themselves to my hair. It fell out, grew back and fell out again. Emotionally, I was hurting. But so was she.
One day I came across an article written by a woman who found herself in my same position. Caring for the woman who gave her life was this daughter's greatest honor. I was ashamed, called myself a witch and vowed to do better. It lasted two days.
In spite of our challenges, there were times when our old relationship surfaced. My mother would talk about her childhood and mine. She spoke often of her love for history. "I should have been a history teacher," she would often say. We spent time researching the ancestry of her maternal grandmother. We laughed together, remembering my father and his fishing obsession. We were happy. Those days were golden. Even now, when I'm in her old bedroom, I can still feel their rare sweetness.
Sometimes in her dementia, she was just plain funny. At 2:00 am one morning, I found her dressed in a nightgown, clutching her purse and wearing a Baltimore Orioles ball cap perched on her head. "I'm ready to go to the game," she announced. When I recovered from shock, I laughed until I cried, listening to my genteel and proper mother let out a stream of cursing. Or tell me that her frail and wheelchair-bound nursing home roommate was a drug dealer.
Eventually she became too much for me to handle. I had to put up the adult version of a child-proof gate to prevent her from wandering, especially after she found her way into the living room and lay down in front of the open front door.
At first, I placed her in a nursing home until I discovered an assisted living center. There were doilies resting on the arms of each big, comfortable chair, a kitchen that smelled like home, and a dining room table for the five or six women residents to share their meals. Some of her former students were aides. It was the best for both of us, although I still vacillated between relief and guilt. Some days she would be the woman I remembered. Other days she would refuse to get out of bed. I was afraid to bring her home for Christmas for fear that I'd have to force her to return. I was let off the hook - that day she stayed under the covers in her night gown even when we arrived to wish her Merry Christmas.
Our last visit was wonderful. It was a warm, sunny day in early spring. Instead of confused and combative, my mother was her sweet and gentle self. We sat out on the porch with her housemates and one of her former students. Everyone shared stories - of the days when she was a teacher, about old-fashioned homemade remedies and the school bus that ran charter excursions to the beach during the summers of the 1950s and 60s. A couple of days later, my mother suffered a third stroke. She passed away a week later at the age of 91. I consider that last visit as a gift. We were the mother and daughter we had hoped to be through the turmoil of her illness. When I left her on the porch with her friends, "I love you" were the last words we shared.
Meet the author Niambi Brown Davis
Niambi was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and raised on the Eastern
Shore of Maryland. She and her family lived for many years in Washington, DC and
for three and a half years, made the Republic of Trinidad & Tobago their
home.
She
has written for Bronze Thrills, True Confessions and Black Romance Magazines.
Niambi indulged her passion for sailing and travel by serving as publicist for
the Black Boaters Summit and as a member of the National Association of Black
Travel Writers. A script for her first digital novella has been accepted
and published by Arrow Publications, LLC. Presently, Niambi writes for
Travel Lady Magazine.
Aside
from travel and writing, Niambi is an avid reader of historical fiction, and
deeply involved in tracing the history of both branches of her family tree.
Her day job is running the business of Sand
& Silk / Soleful Strut, her own line of handcrafted bath and body
products. For more information visit her website at: http://niambibrowndavis.com
Countering
the Age of the “Me” Generation
I try to pay
attention to the game as the assistant coach. However, I am bombarded by begging
from players on the bench: “Brother Green, can I get back into the game?” I
try to ignore by pointing: “Ask the coach.”
Every weekend was like déjà vu for me. A bunch of 8th graders were
trying to tell us they were just as good as high school athletes. These
8th graders were undersized and no match for more experienced ‘ballers.’ The
basketball league was designed for high school students. I felt they
should be graceful to be allowed to play with our high schoolers. Instead,
it was a steady stream of complaints and ingratitude from some 8th graders.
I wondered how I got stuck with Gen Next.
Today’s
organizations face unprecedented competition from all fronts.
Many institutions desperately need to infuse their organizations with fresh
leadership and new ideas. Yet, there is a hesitation for this transformation.
Many baby boomers argue that the current generation is not ready. These young
workers are called many names such as Generation Y (Gen Y), Echo Boomers, or
Millennials (born 1977 to 2002). Most experts predict the generation will be a
major factor in society. There are more than 70 million of them.
However, they have been described in the workplace as lazy and self-absorbed
with their own worth. Laura Clark, columnist, argues, “Today's young workers,
it appears, believe they deserve jobs with big salaries, status and plenty of
leisure time - without having to put in the hours.” According to the
Association of Graduate Recruiters study, there is a new breed of graduate
'divas' who expect everything to fall into their laps. These people believe they
are a hot commodity in the job market. Yet, their managers describe them as
‘unrealistic,’ ‘self-centered,’ and ‘greedy.’
For the first time in American history, organizations have four different
generations in their workforce. Sadly, it’s not without problems.
Companies don’t understand this young generation. They desire to share in
organizational decisions on day one of employment and be promoted
instantaneously. With managers who had to ‘pay their dues.’ The Gen Y
mentality is a hard pill to swallow.
Dr. Jean Twenge and Dr. Keith Campbell track this trend of self-absorption in
their book, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement.
“Narcissism- a very positive and inflated view of the self is
everywhere….Understanding the narcissism is important because its long-term
consequences are destructive to society.” In the 1960s, individuals led causes
for the greater good. During the 1970s, there was a focus on self-admiration.
By the 1980s, society had totally gone to ‘looking out for oneself.”
Unfortunately, some managers distort the work value of this emerging generation
by stereotyping them as selfish. Baby boomer managers complain about the
difficulty of managing Gen Y employees. But, didn’t these baby boomers raise
them to be narcissistic anyway? Therefore, it isn’t fair to label them totally
as expecting entitlement.
Twenge and Campbell note, “Parenting became more indulgent, celebrity worship
grew, and reality TV became a showcase of narcissistic people.” One must
wonder what Gen Y will pass along to their own children.
As more baby boomers retire, a new generation of leaders will replace them.
These new leaders will cross age, gender, race, and geography. I certainly hope
that Gen Y can overcome the negativism surrounding them and be prepared to
accept future leadership roles. I pray it’s not too late.
Dr. Daryl Green provides motivation, guidance, and training for leaders
at critical ages and stages of their development. He has over 20 years of
management experience and has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony
Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can go to http://stores.lulu.com/darygre
or http://www.darylgreen.org
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Founder & Editor In Chief Black Pearls Magazine
The
National Urban League unveiled its annual 2011 State of Black America Report --
The National Urban League 
“Why
can’t a woman be on top?” This is the first line in my novel 
We’ve all
heard the story about how many young women have dreamed about their wedding day (keyword – wedding) for as long as they can remember. Mind you not every woman has that dream but there are many that do end up in that category. Let me assure you, I was the woman that didn’t fall into that category. 
Ms. Wells is not afraid to open up about her past and encourages others to do the same.
Sharon R. Wells author of the memoir/self-help book "Without
Permission" and owner of Angel Wings Publications, LLC has been on a local speaking and book signing tour at churches, libraries and other public venues to spread awareness of her mission to end the cycle of sexual abuse.
We
have all heard the saying that “An apple a day can keep the doctor away.”
However, the saying also holds true for consuming the recommended amount of fish
or other foods rich in omega-3s as well. By making sure that you get the proper
balance of omega-3s within your diet, you significantly boost your immune system
and prevent your chances of contracting chronic diseases . Here are answers to a
few questions that you may have regarding omega-3s and how they can benefit your
overall health.
My most memorable ex-boyfriend was very creative when it came to saving money. He escorted me to parties and funerals of people we didn’t know just so he could “treat” me to a free meal. At each event he would stuff my purse with food to take home. He drove a twenty-three-year-old Ford and lived in a “boot leg”, free rent, Section 8 apartment (it was in the name of a shady relative who used several aliases).
About the Author
Most of us have heard this old adage from our grandparents and elders. I finally stopped to think about what it truly means. 
About the Author
About Niambi Brown Davis 
If you feel like you can’t go on. . .
Be Realistic
Meet Author Carla S. Pennington
In the case of my new release, My Father's Colors-The Drama-Filled Journey of Naya Monà
Continues, the main character, Naya Monà, wears a pair of red pumps on her journey to find out about the colors of her father and why at the tender age of thirteen, his touch became no longer innocent. Could you imagine her having on a different color shoe as she dives back into that emotional-wrenching box of her past? I can't. 
About the Author:
When women think about their physical health, I’m not sure that most think
about their sexual health, which is just as important to one’s overall
well-being. Sex is good for you! Indulging on a regular basis, at least twice
a week, is even better. Research links sex to an array of physiological
benefits, from longevity to pain relief. Many studies don't address whether
the health bonus comes from the act itself or from the corresponding emotional
intimacy, but the bottom line is that getting physical has some great side
effects—especially for women, that include; less frequent colds and flu,
reduced depression, increased energy levels, weight loss, and overall improved
fitness.
I clearly recall cringing and being totally outraged. I thought, “How dare he?” attempt to call out my African-American sistahs with such a catchy, yet degrading slogan. “He didn’t know us and if he did, how dare he air our dirty laundry.” I would hear his slogan passionately proclaimed time and time again as he made guest appearances on the show as his popularity grew.
Love is kind, gracious, not jealous or puffed up.
Love isn’t selfish or envious. If love is so wonderful, so grand, so beautiful and appealing why do marriages suffer, divorces happen, abuse infiltrates, hurt erupts, deceit desecrates and hearts are broken - all in the name of love?
J. Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri says,
“50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.”
The infamous Reverend Curtis Black's sordid past is no secret, as his wife, Charlotte, is well aware. But when Curtis' long-time mistress and mother of his illegitimate two-year-old, dies, he and Charlotte have no choice but to raise Curtina together. While the living, breathing reminder of her husband's infidelity infuriates Charlotte, Curtis couldn't be happier to finally have his whole family together. Despite her best efforts to keep her feelings hidden, Charlotte resents Curtina, taking her emotions out on the young girl. When confronted about her behavior Charlotte starts spending time away from home, all the while getting closer to her ex-boyfriend. 
When
you are the only child, you can get really lonely if you don’t have a strong
relationship with your parents. Some children may be lonely, while
others may enjoy having the full attention of their parents. So, on the
one hand, it’s just you; on the other hand, it’s just you. Many only
children live near others and have lots of friends. I would wish that I
had someone that’s on my level. I wanted to be a big sister or a little
sister. If I had a sister or brother, I would have had someone that I
could spend time with and share some of my responsibilities like doing different
chores. I would have to wash the dishes, take out the trash, wash clothes,
and cook. We could share these responsibilities. But, only children can
learn to be very good at doing things on their own as well. Well, I may
not have brothers and sisters but I had to learn to share with the others in the
family. Children tend to learn from each other: social skills, behavior
patterns, and even share silly things like the “birds and the bees.”
Children need companionship from individuals their own age. 
Author
A. Life… displays in her latest release, titled: Secret Wounds & Hidden Pain 
Saving a marriage is perhaps one of the prime concern areas of every married couple. With divorce rates hitting an all time high, it is no wonder that couples are permanently in a state of anxiety whether they are playing their roles right in the marriage. But is saving a marriage very difficult? The answer is both 'yes' and 'no'.
Very few marriages exist without reaching a crucial fork in the road at some point and a marriage self help strategy can be very effective when this happens. Many marriages have reached the point where separation and possibly even divorce begin to seem like the only option. Often times, one spouse remains committed to the marriage despite his or her unhappiness and the other spouse seems ambivalent or even unaware that there is a problem.
Today’s
organizations face unprecedented competition from all fronts. 
Share
with us your news, events and articles.
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